No wait, I figured that one out years ago. What I discovered at the mall was that if you�re not a teenage girl, you have no business being at the mall. Just about every fucking store I passed catered to this one group. Now, in my youth I knew me some teenage girls, and they didn�t have any fucking money! I know this because they were constantly asking me for some. So why is the entire mall concentrating on them? I just don�t get that.
It hasn�t always been this way. I can remember when I was younger the mall was a cool place to go hang out and maybe do a little shopping. There was stuff there for everyone, no matter what you needed or were into. They had a great arcade, and an ice cream place and a pretzel stand and stuff like that. It worked for everyone.
But now unless you�re looking to buy clothes for teenage girls, there�s nothing for you at the mall. And since I�m a 35-year-old man with no teenage daughter, that would be kinda weird. They might even lock me away for shit like that, unless I hire Michael Jackson�s lawyers.
Hell, even just a few years ago me and some buddies could still go to the mall and just wander around as a great way to meet chicks. Worked wonderfully back then, but now we would all be arrested because there�s no chicks our age there.
There used to be several music stores there, so if one didn�t have something you were looking for, you could go to one of the other ones to look. And you could also go to the different ones to do some price comparisons, but that�s out of the question now. They have ONE such store these days, one of those fucking mega-stores that tries to fulfill all of our entertainment needs � and does so at a much higher cost. Now if this place doesn�t have what you�re looking for, you�re just shit out of luck.
And the restaurants are ridiculous now too. There was no food court here when I was a kid. Instead there were a few randomly-placed restaurants dispersed throughout the mall, down every wing so you could always find something to eat. And it was all normal shit, like a pizza place and a Burger King and a steak house and such. Now it�s all those different fucking ethnic places. The Chinese food place, the Indian place, the Mexican place. There isn�t a steak house in sight, and it�s fucking pathetic. Did I miss something here? Did I cross some sort of border without realizing it? Why are there no restaurants that serve AMERICAN food in an AMERICAN mall? I walk through there and I swear to God I would kill someone for a fucking hamburger.
Damn, but the mall sucks. And I still need some fucking pants.