Oh yeah � this is going to be written half from MY perspective, and half from the perspective of the person who suggested it. I�m not sure how this will work out, and it may fail utterly, but I�m going to try it anyway. Wish me luck.
Right, here we go now. On with the rant.
Why does food have to taste good? Think about it. Lately we have been hearing a LOT of bitching and whining on the news about how fat America has become, but has anyone really looked at the source of the problem? A kid not being able to keep their hands of the chocolate chip cookies is only a RESULT of the true problem. People eating at Wendy�s and KFC are symptoms, but not the real problem.
The problem, the reason we eat at these places, or stuff our pieholes full of cookies when we�re kids, (or when we�re adults � I still do it sometimes sitting at work at night,) is because the shit tastes good. That�s what it all boils down to. If a burger at Wendy�s tasted like dog rectum flamb�, I�m guessing we probably wouldn�t eat there very often. If a 16 oz. T-bone tasted like refried rat droppings saut�ed in moldy cheese and cat urine, I�m sure not too many people would be ordering seconds. And if chocolate chip cookies tasted slabs of roadkill covered with 6-month-old pigeon shit, I�m thinking most kids would pass and ask for a stalk of celery instead.
But of course, the stuff tastes great, and we all chow down like rabid starving wolves tearing into the last rabbit to be had before winter sets in. Why? We�re fucking stupid. Not for eating too much. Well, maybe PARTLY for eating too much, but mostly for making this shit palatable in the first place. Maybe if all food tasted like the examples mentioned above, we might be a less fat nation.
But maybe we don�t need to go quite that far. And don�t worry, I�m not gonna mention willpower or anything crazy like that. I know we don�t have that in this country. If we did I wouldn�t still be smoking, and still struggling desperately to quit. And I wouldn�t still be fat. (That was from ME, not from the person who suggested this rant. That person would probably have to gain 25 � 30 pounds just to be STARTING to look overweight.)
No, I don�t think we need to make food taste like shit. We just need to make it all taste the same. And all of it has to be bland. If everything we ate tasted like Styrofoam, we wouldn�t be in such a hurry to eat. Then we�d just be doing it for the reason we need to � to stay alive.
Another concept we need to get away from is eating as a social event. This causes problems as well. People get together in groups and what do they do? They fucking eat, because that�s what we�ve been trained to do. Sit around the dinner table in the evening and everyone discusses how his or her day was. If you have a big family, they are going to be some mighty fat fuckers by the time we here about everyone�s experiences of the past 24 hours.
Maybe instead of eating we could just sit around and talk. I know this is tough, especially in our current attention span deficit burdened society, but maybe we could give it a shot. And then, on top of not being a bunch of obese Marlon Brando lookalikes, (I�m talking about the later Brando, the 80�s and 90�s Brando when he was as wide as he was tall,) We might actually learn a thing or two about each other. What a fucking horror that would be, huh?
Anyway, this was just an idea someone had, and an experiment I though might be fun to try. You�ll have to let me know how well I did with it, and if it went well, maybe I could do more of them. Provided people send me ideas for something they would like to see a rant about, along with a few specifics. It gets tough winging it from someone else�s anger after a while.
Now I gotta go, because it�s getting tough to continue typing through the steady stream of drool pouring from my mouth from staring at a box of popcorn chicken from the Colonel. Yum. God, I can actually FEEL my waistline expanding just from looking at that small box of breaded and fried goodness. And I can practically hear my arteries hardening already. But that�s a�munch, munch� topic for another�munch, munch, munch� day.