He was introducing a Led Zeppelin tune, which anyone who�s read the top ten lists knows is something that makes my ass burn. (A large pepperoni lovers pan pizza from Pizza Hut will do the same thing, but for different reasons. I�m sure you�ll sleep better knowing that.) And of course, being commercial radio it had to be the worst song that band ever recorded, �Stairway to Heaven.� It had to be that one because all classic rock stations are still basing their programming on the same outdated polls from 1978. That haven�t updated since then, so we�re stuck listening to the same crappy songs over and over again, every fucking day and twice on Sundays.
Just a little note to the people who run the classic rock radio stations: FUCKING UPDATE, ASSHOLES! Okay? Seriously, it�s about time to realize that a lot of what you play is crap. Yeah, some of it is still good, but a lot just sucks. It sucked when it was new, and it�s definitely not a fine wine that got better with age. A lot of the stuff from the 80�s is now �classic�, and you can start playing it. So maybe we don�t have to hear fucking �Stairway to Heaven� every goddamn day. And the world will be a better place for it.
So now you may be wondering what exactly this little gem of information is that I mentioned back at the beginning of this. Or maybe you�re not. Maybe you�re just hanging on for the ride, and seeing where this is going. Maybe you�re simply waiting to see just how many pointless sentences and paragraphs I can pad this with before I tell you. Perhaps you just don�t care, but you don�t want to be doing your work either, because your boss mentioned this morning that your shoes don�t go with your shirt, even though you had fretted for an hour over your wardrobe. He�s an asshole.
Okay, I�m done rambling now, since what I say will probably now be anti-climactic to anyone who doesn�t harbor the same white-hot resentment I do towards this band in question. He introduced the song by saying that there were some guitar stores in this country that will actually KICK YOU OUT if you pick up one of their guitars and start playing that song! Isn�t that one of the greatest things you have ever heard? I know it made my day, which as I mentioned before was pretty fuckin� gloomy.
This is a good first step, but more needs to be done. First, we need to expand this to include EVERY musical instrument dealer in the country, and then gradually expand that to the world. Then we need to fine any record shop, (yes I still call them record shops even though they don�t make any records any more. Deal with it,) that dares to carry the album this song is from, as well as any compilations that contain it.
And then just for good measure we should fine any radio station that plays it. I think $100,000 per incident should do it. A few of those hefty fines and we won�t have to worry about hearing that crap anymore. And I know I would sleep better at night. And I can dream, can�t I? But at the very least I can applaud those stores that are already doing this. They are pioneers in a grand new era of good taste, and I salute them!
Now if we could only make rap illegal.