Too bad that fantasy evaporates faster than Windex on a windshield on a steamy summer afternoon. Sure, all those things happen, to a degree, but then you find out that there definitely is a down side. Yeah, you get to drive, but then you realize that driving is fucking EXPENSIVE. Gas, insurance, tickets, maintenance, and the cost of the vehicle itself. Yeah, what a wonderful privilege.
Yes, you can buy beer. And cigarettes, and lottery tickets, and a slew of other things that will either kill you or simply consume you and make your life more miserable. And you don�t HAVE to listen to your parents, but unfortunately you also realize that they knew a lot more than it seemed like they did. And just maybe you were the idiot all along. It�s nice when the illusions we build up about our existence are shattered, leaving us with nothing but the cold, hard, drab reality of life on Earth, isn�t it?
And then there are the other things that happen, the things you NEVER imagine when you�re a kid. Like the fact that you can no longer eat the stuff you want to. I used to be able to sit down and eat an entire large double cheese and pepperoni pizza. If I tired that now I would almost certainly explode on the spot. Even just a few years ago, a friend and I would go into Pizza Hut about once a week and order a large Pepperoni Lover�s Pan Pizza. Now if I have three slices of one of those I will be crapping like a fuckin� machine gun. On the other hand, if I get a double cheese anything, I will NOT crap for about a week. And then it will try to all come out at once, usually at four in the morning. I can guarantee the results won�t be pretty. I swear my toilet actually cries when the pizza delivery guy shows up at the door. The toilet KNOWS his car.
We�re expected to be responsible when we grow up, and if we aren�t they will come and lock us away. Or we will be shunned like the fat kid with the permanent ice cream stains on his chin was at the park when picking teams for a friendly basketball game. It used to be that when we did something really dumb, as we all have done, that people would just say, �Oh well, he�s just a kid.� Now however, I�m not just a kid. I have serious issues and I should seek therapy. Y�know why? Cuz I tried to have fun.
See kids, growing up sucks. Getting older sucks. Yeah, there are a few perks that you don�t enjoy right now, but other than that it�s all downhill once you reach 21. And all this is without even mentioning how your body falls apart and starts making bad noises when you do strenuous things like stand up or tie your shoes. And going bald is part of the equation as well.
See all the things you have to look forward to? I would tell you more, but my back just went out when I reached for my drink on the desk in front of me. I need to go lie down now.