This time around it was one that has been around for a while, and has already been proven to be bunk. It was the one where someone wants you to think that Microsoft will send you thousands of dollars for forwarding some email as part of a Beta Test. This is unbelievable crap and has absolutely no basis in fact. None whatsoever, but some people still like to believe it. In fact, some time ago Microsoft did send out a press release telling people this was bunk, but it�s somehow still circulating.
In the email, some dildo claims they have a friend who is a lawyer, and knows about this stuff, and believe them this is for real. Uh-huh. However, one of the sentences in the email reads, �If you ignore this email, you will repent it later.� Fuckin� what? What the bleeding hell does that even mean? How can you repent it later? Isn�t repenting something you do when you commit a sin? Is this ass-monkey of an attorney saying that ignoring this email is a sin? Boy, it�s a good thing for me that I don�t believe in sin, or I would be fucked.
Perhaps this legal eagle with the tenuous grasp on the English language meant to say that if you ignored this email you would REGRET it later. That would certainly make more sense, at least within the context of the rest of the email. Although it wouldn�t have made any more sense in the larger picture, since why would you regret ignoring something that is so obviously complete horseshit? It�s like ignoring someone who�s banging a tin can on a table, urging you to pound a rusty railroad spike through your genitals. Are you really going to regret ignoring this idiot? Of course you aren�t, and you shouldn�t regret ignoring these emails either.
I mean, what? Are we supposed to be impressed because some chowderhead invoked they friend is an attorney and she knows about this crap� card? I don�t fuckin� think so. First of all, would you trust a lawyer who has such a poor command of the English language? I know I wouldn�t trust MY fate to this person, that�s for sure. She�s quite obviously an idiot, and I would probably be better of with fucking Elmo from Sesame Street as my attorney.
I think what we all ought to do is send emails to this lawyer chick, asking her how many trials she has been involved with. And out of those, how many did she win? How many people that she has represented are now sitting on Death Row, awaiting the gas chamber and wondering how they ended up here after getting caught stealing a pack a freakin� gum? I wonder if any of them are now repenting hiring this chick as their attorney.
How many people has she represented who are bankrupt right now, standing in line listening to some religious nitwit yammer on about God when all they wanted was their free bowl of soup. They used to have it all; the nice car, a house in the suburbs, a membership at the country club. Then they hired and trusted this bimbo to represent them in court, and repentably she wasn�t able to help them out.
Nobody cares that a fake lawyer saw this crap and declared it real. I mean, how many people on your email list don�t have real email addresses anyway? By that I mean, how many of them are using Hotmail accounts, or a Yahoo account or another of the myriad of free, web-based email services? None of these services require any real contact information from you to sign up, so how do these geniuses think Microsoft is going to contact them? I mean, how many of you are going to respond to an email from someone claiming to be Bill Gates by emailing your personal information back to them? That�s dumber than licking a cactus.
The bottom line is that this thing is nothing but a scam, and you are not going to get rich from this thing. You want to have money? Here�s a tried and true method; work your ass off and save your freakin� money. Either that or rob a bank. Or an armored car. Or just mug Bill Gates, although if he actually carried any money on him, he should be able to afford a better haircut than that. Now if you�ll excuse me, I have some friends I need to forward this to.