I've been feeling kinda depressed for a few days now, which would explain why I've had so much time to devote to these little rants, since I haven't really felt like actually doing anything. But that's also given me the opportunity to rent a few DVD's that I've been wanting to watch. And the one I watched last night may have helped me pinpoint why I've been feeling this way. I rented "Pay it Forward" with Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and that kid from "The Sixth Sense". If you haven't seen "Pay it Forward" yet, you might wanna watch it before you read this, as I might inadvertently give something away and ruin the movie for you if you do plan on seeing it.
You have been warned.
For those of you still reading, let me start out by saying that the only reason I wanted to see this movie in the first place is because it has Helen Hunt in it. I will watch anything she's in. And here she looks hotter than I have ever seen her look before. And for you chicks reading this, yes that IS a compliment. But beyond that, it was actually a good film that was really well-made and I did enjoy it immensely. But this is not a movie review, so maybe I should just get to the point.
I was watching this movie, and as I was getting sucked into the story, and the idea behind it, it suddenly hit me why I am depressed. There is no more kindness in our world. Nobody does anything just out of the goodness of their heart anymore. Nobody is willing to help out a fellow human being unless they are gonna get something out of it. At the very least, we expect a pat on the back or some special recognition. This is usually when we say, "You owe me one." And if we don't get that, we get really pissed about it. We tried to help someone, and instead of them going out of their way to recognize that and shower us with praise and name their children after us and worship us as gods, they turn out to be an ungrateful little bastard who won't reward our "good deed." That is really pathetic.
The idea the kid in the movie has, is that you do something to help out three people. But instead of them repaying you, they have to "Pay it Forward" and help three other people. That is supposed to be our thanks. And if each person helped in turn helps three more people, within a relatively short timespan the whole thing expands outward at an exponential rate. It's just a shame that something like this will only ever happen in Hollywood. It would never fly in the real world. (On a side note, another thing in this movie can also only ever happen in Hollywood. Where a gorgeous chick would rather be with the guy covered with scars and who has not the best attitude in the world, being something of a recluse, and not really letting anyone into his life. It is a FACT that this does not really happen. If anyone out there wants to dispute this point, I say put you money where your mouth is. Otherwise whatever you're saying are just empty, completely meaningless words, and if you don't like that, too fuckin' bad. The truth usually does hurt.)
But back to the point. Not only is no one in this world interested in being kind to one another anymore, but common courtesy and respect for others have vanished as well. How many times has someone called you and left a message on your machine, but you never return the call. You're "too busy." How many unanswered emails do you have in your inbox right now? Be honest. How many times have you called someone's pager, then sat around waiting for them to call back because you think it would be rude to page them and then not be there to receive the call? How many times have you told someone you will call them later, or at some specific time or date, or said you will meet them somewhere, but you never call or show up? You just leave the person hanging, wondering what happened to you because you are "too busy." Or something else came up. Usually something better.
I don't think we should use the "too busy" excuse anymore. The simple truth is that we are all busy. Am I the only person who is concerned that with our ever-improving technology, and all the various means of instant communication we have at our fingertips, we all seem to have less and less time for other people? Especially those we call our "friends"? So where would that leave a stranger? Nobody knows because nobody wants to take the time to think about it. We are all "too busy."
But doing what? What exactly are we all so busy doing that we can't have the common decency to show someone a little respect and actually talk to them? It's a mystery to me. What can possibly be so damned important that we completely ignore other people for days or even weeks at a time? I suppose if I knew the answer to that, I would be one big step closer to making this little spinning ball of mud we call home a better place.
But I don't have the answer. At least not that answer. I don't know what is more important than friends and family. And I think there is a reason why every time you hear those two words together, friends comes first. You are stuck with your family. They have to accept you and you have to accept them. I know some people will argue that, but it is true, even if to varying degrees. But friends are different. Friends are the people we have chosen to share our lives with, and it mystifies me why we would want to turn our backs on them.
So I don't know what is so damned important, or what we are "too busy" with. I know a lot of people say they are busy with work. I say that myself. But I am only recently starting to realize that no, work is NOT more important than friends. Yes, we all have bills to pay. We have families to take care of. We all always seem to need a little more money. But why? What good is that going to do you in the long run? It's people that count, not money or things. It is really sad that more people aren't recognizing this. I mean truly recognizing it, not just saying they do because it seems like the thing to say, or to get someone off their back.
I do want to make it clear that I am not pointing fingers at anyone here. Everybody does these sort of things almost every day. I know I'm guilty of it. I'm not proud of it, but I won't deny it either. "Oh, I have so much work to do, and I'm just so busy and so tired and I don't have the energy to return that call today. I'll write them tomorrow." And tomorrow becomes next week. And then two weeks, and so on. These are the things I tell myself, and I'm sure everybody out there says these same words, or close variations of them. And they are BULLSHIT. If we really want to do something; if we really care about something or someone, we will find the time. Or if necessary, we will make the time.
But we don't. And that's a shame, because I believe before we can bring kindness back into our world, we first have to bring courtesy back. It's something that has to be done in steps, and each of us has to take the first little step. As soon as you're done reading this, write back to someone who's message has been sitting in your inbox. or go call someone who left a message on your machine. Or if you don't happen to have any of those things waiting for you right at this moment, call or write someone you haven't called or written in a while. It doesn't matter if they haven't called or written to you either. Just do it out of the blue. Out of the goodness of your heart. Call someone up just to tell them you do care. It's a good start. And when you are talking to them, or when you are writing to them, see if you can't get them to do the same thing.
I don't really expect that this is going to change anything overnight. Even though I am just now realizing some of these things myself, I know I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person, spending all my time catching up with the people I have been neglecting. But I am going to answer at least one message in my inbox. I am going to write to at least one person I haven't written to in a while. I am going to try and call someone I haven't talked to in a while. Because when it comes right down to it, what else do we really have but each other? And when I'm done doing those things, then I'll go to work.
If I'm not "too busy"