Then along came answering machines, and things changed a little bit, but not enough to be a problem. People would simply check their machines when they got home, and if someone needed a call returned, you would do it then, NOT while you were out at dinner.
After the answering machines came beepers, which were an extreme annoyance, even though I owned one. You would be sitting there trying to enjoy an evening with a friend or with that �special someone�, and that damned thing would start beeping. It kinda interrupts the flow of the evening.
Of course, with a beeper you could always choose not to return the call. That might seem kinda rude to the person who was beeping you, but it�s also rude to interrupt your evening to go make a phone call that 985 of the time is NOT important, or at least nothing that couldn�t have waited.
The down side to beepers was that if you didn�t call the person beeping you back, they could continue to call your beeper incessantly. This could also become a problem, usually resulting in me turning the damned thing off � which counters the whole point of having it.
After beepers came the downfall of our civilization. The abomination to end all abominations. The most intrusive, impersonal ridiculous misuse of technology to ever hit us. Cell phones.
Now, the idea itself is not a bad one. In fact, it�s a pretty good idea, as long as we don�t give them to people. Because people are generally pretty fucking stupid, inconsiderate, and a complete waste of the oxygen we are wasting keeping them alive. And they can now call you wherever they are, and wherever you are.
And they have given these things to kids. KIDS! Young people who in large part have no idea how to act in a social setting anyway. And now you�ve given them a license to act even ruder than they could before. I cannot remember how many times I have been sitting at a restaurant and watched some worthless little blemish on humanity talking on the phone, instead of talking to whoever he was at the restaurant with. And the worst part is that sometimes they are talking with someone who is sitting at a different table in the same fucking restaurant!
I keep mentioning the dinner thing because I think it�s kinda rude. And yes, I have done it myself, but I still think it�s rude, even when I do it.
And now what�s with the fucking phones themselves? No one can have just a telephone anymore, (except for me.) No, now it has to be connected to the internet, and has to have a camera, and a video camera, a fax machine, calendar, clock that shows the time everywhere in the world, a grappling hook and a snorkel. Sometimes they even remember to put a damn telephone in it.
What the fuck is all that? No one needs all that shit in a telephone. We all got by just fine without it all for decades, so why do we need it now? I'm just waiting for the Transformer phone that turns into a car. But it'll cost you thirty-four cents a mile to drive it after 500 miles.
And for some people it does seem to be a need, almost a sickness. The more crap their phone can do, the better. It�s just a damn phone, okay people? Repeat after me, it�s just a phone, and say that to yourself over and over until it finally sinks in that you do NOT need all that shit on your phone.
And what�s with all the fucking calling plans anyway? What is the deal with this shit? And why do we STILL have to pay by the minute? Yeah, I know we all get some amount of �unlimited calls�, but c�mon. How can you have 500 unlimited minutes? That doesn�t even make sense. By saying I get only 500 of them per month, you are LIMITING it, so it�s not �unlimited�, is it? No.
And how can the fucking signal fade when I�m on top of a mountain? What sense does that make. There�s NOTHING blocking it, so the signal should be strong enough to fucking knock my ass over, but instead it fades out. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
I hate my cell phone. I really do. Yeah, I do need it for my job, and there are times when it comes in handy, but overall I would be just as happy if they had never invented the fucking things.
But now I have to go. My phone is ringing, and I accidentally pressed the stun gun button instead of answer, and there�s a cat in the middle of the room twitching spasmodically that I should probably help. After I see who�s calling, of course.