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Cutting through My Leg with a Plastic Knife: |
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A Science Experiment Testing the Strength of Human Skin and the Extent of Human Stupidity |
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On Sunday, December 19, A.D. 1999 at approximately 8:37 A.M., I was sitting in the Mrs. Winners on Whitlock Road by the Square eating breakfast with my sister, Shane Poland, and Joey Vidal after playing in the orchestra for the first service of the morning at my church. We began to discuss movie Jurassic Park and its sequel The Lost World came up. We began to talk about the books and inconsistantcies that we had found between them. For example, near the end of the book version of Jurassic Park written by Michael Cricheton, the annoying yet logical mathematician, Ian Macolm, dies from a infection in his leg that he receives from a dinosaur bite. However, he is the first character introduced in the sequel The Lost World. We began talking about how this might have happened. Someone suggested that he was possibly left for dead but amputated his own leg and somehow survived. As a result, we began discussing if and how one could cut through his own leg with nearly no type of supplies. Then someon picked up a plastic knife that had been laying on the table and said, "Maybe he used this!" I immediately knew what I had to do. "Give me that," I said as I grabbed the knife. I rolled up one of my pants leg up to about the knee. Next, I took the knife and positioned it right in the middle of the calf and began to cut. After only several seconds it began to hurt slightly and was beginning to bleed. At this point, I decided that this data was adequate enought to make several predictions, plus Mr. Opitiz, who was at another table, was giving me really weird looks. I retested the area several times later that morning and eventually reached a conclusion: It is possible to saw through the flesh of one's leg with a Mrs. Winners plastic knife. Once all the flesh around the bone has been cut. The bone may be begun. At this point, I believe that the knife will begin to cut through the bone. However, since the bone is much harder than the skin, it would lose the serrated edge quicker, thus rendering it useless. If you don't believe me, try it yourself! |
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Update! |
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Unexpectedly, the cut which I sustained during the experiment left a quite obvious scar on my leg which I noticed approximately a week or two later. Recently, my colleague Shane and I had begun to discuss the problem once again, and determined that the scars which we both bore on our legs (for he had gotten one as well from his own experimentation) looked to plain by themselve and should be made into shapes. So, once again we went to work, this time with more percision and created masterpiece on our legs, scar tattoos, as we call them. Shane now proudly bears a number sign-shaped scar on the inside of his left leg while I sport a trendy "A" on the outside of my right leg. We are now considering introducing this type of body alternation to mass culture through our own scar tattoo shop. Please check back! We hope to have more updates and possibly even pictures! |
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NEWEST UPDATE!!! |
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Shane's the gay-looking --> one |
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Now our experimentation continues: On a Wednesday, sometime in the summer of 2001, we decided to try the experiment again, but with a slight twist (literally). While we were sitting on a living room floor staring at sentences that we were spelling from broken preztels ("Andy is so hot!" and such), we both thought of the same revelation at once: We could use the preztels to carve designs into our skin! We immediately snatched up some of the letters and began carving away. I stuck with the "A" that I had before while Shane brainstormed for another idea. Instead of the intricate number symbol that he had made before he made a rather simple "C" for "Chucho" since an "S" would be a bit more difficult. After a few seconds the preztels would become soggy so we would have to bite off the wet part and keep on going. Eventually we began to bleed, and it was at that point that we were reassured that the preztels would make a wonderful scar tattoo tool. We believe that the salt helped to perserve the tattoos . . . and it also made the pain much more extrutiating which is always good. If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions about our experiments or how we could develop our project more, please send them to me at [email protected] or Shane at [email protected]. Happy cutting!
To see Shane's side of the story, go to Scar Tattoos.
Also, we have recently been featured on two wonderful sites: Uncle Woody's Strange But True Websites and Funkyshit.org. Thank you to those two great sites for making us famous.
Oh yeah, one more thing: I realize that this doesn't have anything to do with tattoos, but my colleague and I are also interested in attempting to drive to the North Pole for spring break so, should we in fact undertake that quest, we will definitely post our results and adventures here so . . . stay tuned! |
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Go back to my super cool page! |
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