The church was filled with beautiful bouquets of flowers. Most were from friends of the family, trying to show their sympathy and condolences the only way they knew how.
At the front of the sanctuary was a display of photographs of Ashleigh. There were pictures of her in the hospital in her mother’s arms the day she was born. Pictures of her in her little league uniform, Lance and she sitting on the end of a dock fishing, high school drama performances, graduation and more.
Lance walked into the room and searched for the Reynolds. He found them standing near the front talking to the pastor. He walked up to them and caught their attention.
“It’s so good to see you Lance,” Mrs. Reynolds said as she turned and embraced him in a hug.
“How are you holding up?” He questioned her.
“Oh, we’re managing,” she replied. “Thank you so much for speaking today. I know it would mean so much to Ashleigh,” she said as her eyes began to well up with tears.
“I’m glad to do it,” Lance replied.
Their conversation was interrupted by the stream of the first mourners arriving.
“We’ll talk to you after the service son,” Mr. Reynolds said. He reached out and shook Lance’s hand before guiding his wife back to greet their friends and family.
A half hour later the pews were full and there was only standing room in the back. Lance was glad to see there was a good turn out. Anything less would have been a tragedy. Ashleigh was such an amazing person and she had touched so many lives. It was very apparent that she was going to be missed.
As the memorial began the pastor stepped to the front and led them all in a prayer.
“Father in heaven,
we thank you because you made us in your own image
and gave us gifts in mind, body and spirit.
We thank you now for Ashleigh
and what she meant to each of us.
As we honor her memory,
make us more aware that you are the one
from whom comes every perfect gift,
including the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.
Amen.”
“We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Ashleigh Reynolds. Though she is now gone from this life where she will truly be missed, we rejoice in the knowledge that she now has eternal life, free from pain and earthly struggles. Today we will share some of her favorite scripture, hear from some of her family and friends and then we will open the floor to you all if you would like to say anything,” the pastor continued.
To Lance the funeral seemed to move in slow motion. Even though he knew that the pastor was reading from the bible he was surrounded in silence. None of this seemed real yet. He looked around the room and saw Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds sitting in the front row along with Ashleigh’s grandparents. Mrs. Reynolds clung to her handkerchief as if it were her lifeline. Lance’s heart went out to the woman. He knew that her pain was long from over. The one thing parents never expect to do is bury their own child.
Finally the time came when Lance was supposed to give the eulogy. He slowly made his way up the podium. His face was pale and his eyes had dark circles from lack of sleep and repeated crying. The blonde stood at the podium for a few seconds in silence. His yellow-green eyes scanned the faces of the people sitting in the pews. There were a lot of people he had never seen before. He recognized a few faces of people that he hadn’t seen since his childhood. Just the thought of him being young again brought memories of Ashleigh flooding back. Then he had another thought, ‘I’ll never get to see her again.’ The thought was almost enough to make the tears start flowing again but Lance fought for control. He took a ragged breath and then started to speak.
“Mrs. Reynolds asked me to give the eulogy. I gladly accepted. Ashleigh was my best friend and I was honored to be asked. I thought about it and thought about it, but I just couldn’t put into words how special Ashleigh is...um...was.” Lance choked back a sob. “This morning it finally came to me the perfect way to honor Ashleigh. I’ve asked some of my friends to sing a song that perfectly describes my feelings about her.” When he finished speaking the other four guys made their way up to the stage. The microphones were already hooked up. Each man took one and Lance queued for the music to start. Soon the slow music filled the room. After a few beats, Justin’s strong clear voice started the song.
Ooh Oh yeah
I never thought you were
A fairweather friend
You never let me down
You're true to the end
You're in the darkest hour
When all was lost
Somehow you left the light on
You faced the wrong and showed the world a thing or two
Stood up for me for you
And you should know
As Justin sang, memories of Ashleigh continued to flood Lance’s mind.
“Lance why don’t you and Ashleigh go outside and play? Take her to meet some of the other kids in the neighborhood.” The Reynolds had just moved in down the street. Diane and Jim had decided to invite the family over for lunch. They knew the Reynolds had a child about Lance’s age. Lance was excited about it until they got there.
“No, Mom. I don’t wanna,” the small blonde whined.
“Lance don’t talk back to your mother,” Jim replied in a scolding tone.
“But Dad...she’s a GIRL!!”
“Lance...” his mother laughed and pushed the two towards the back door. “Go play. Be nice.” Lance sat on the back porch and scowled. The little girl looked around the yard taking in all the new surroundings. She finally got up the courage to talk to him.
“So...um...how old are you?”
“Five,” Lance said angrily while looking up to scowl at her.
“Are you in school?” Ashleigh asked, not letting him get to her at all.
“No! It’s summer you big dork. Besides I don’t start school until next fall.”
“Ok...” Ashleigh said. She decided that the boy sitting on the porch was boring and decided to find something else to do. She went back to taking in her surroundings. The she spotted a frog hopping across the grass. She started following it trying to catch it. Every time she would bend down the ringlets of her brown hair bounced around her head. Curiosity got the best of Lance and he got up to go see what the intruder of his backyard was doing. Before he got over to her, the little girl had caught the frog.
“What are you doing?” the blonde asked, mad that this girl was messing with anything that could possibly his.
“Look, I caught a frog!” the girl beamed.
“Frog? You like frogs?” Lance asked as his face softened some. “I thought that girls didn’t like frogs. I thought that played dolls and tea party, stuff like that.”
“Tea party? Why would I want to play tea party when I could be outside playing in the mud?” Ashleigh asked him in a very serious tone. A huge smile spread across Lance’s face. Maybe this girl wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Lance shook his head trying to get his mind back on track. Then he joined the rest of the group on the chorus.
Only through heaven'sSome say it wasn't worth the things we went through
(Things we went through)
I say it ain't worth losing you
(Losing you)
(Oh no)
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
(Someday)
Someday you'll see
If only through heaven's eyes
Ashleigh took one last look in the hallway mirror. She has spent hours getting ready even though she was going by herself. She was determined that stupid guy she used to call a boyfriend wasn’t going to ruin her first prom. There was a unexpected knock on the door.
“Ashleigh can you get that?” Katherine called from the kitchen.
“Yeah sure mom,” she called back. She quickly made her way over to the door, thankful she hadn’t put on her heels yet. “Lance what are you doing here? What are you wearing?” Ashleigh opened the door to find Lance standing on her doorstep wearing a tux. He quickly produced a bouquet of flowers.
“A little birdie told me about your jerk of a boyfriend. I knew you were planning on going to the prom alone, but I could never let that happen to a beauty like you.”
“Charming as always...but I didn’t even know you were back in town,” Ashleigh told him in confusion.
“I only here for the weekend, I came back to take you to the prom.”
“You kidding right?”
“Nope,” Lance said with a big goofy grin on his face.
“Lance you’re the greatest!” Ashleigh exclaimed before flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek. He hugged her back before speaking.
“You better not get any lipstick on me!” He laughed. Ashleigh continued to hug him. “Ok, ok,” he laughed again and pried Ashleigh off him. He reached down and straightened his tux. He looked up and gave her a huge smile. “Calm down. You’ll wrinkle my tux!”
I still remember
The things that you said
I keep your words alive
I could never forget
Cause in the final hour you made me proud
So proud that I could know you
You told the world its time that they believed in you
You stood for right and truth
And you should know
A tired Lance stepped into his bedroom at his parent’s house, luggage in hand. The MTV music awards had just finished and they had won their first award.
He dropped his bags inside the door and a moment later he was attacked by his friend.
Ashleigh jumped off his bed and threw her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you!”
“Hey Ash, I missed you!”
“I missed you too,” she exclaimed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the bed. She plopped down and he sat next to her.
“You did a great job last night,” she told him.
He chuckled. “So you saw the awards huh?
“I wouldn’t have missed them for the world silly.”
“I was surprised we won anything,” he admitted.
The smile dropped from her face. She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Don’t you ever doubt yourself Lance. You are the most talented person I know. Anyone would have to be blind not to see the exact same thing. I believe in you and you should too.”
Only through heaven's eyesSome say it wasn't worth the things we went through
(Things we went through)
I say it ain't worth losing you
(Losing you)
(Oh no)
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
(Someday)
Someday you'll see
If only through heaven's eyes
“Do you remember Ashleigh Reynolds from your old Attaché group?” his mom asked.
“Yeah I remember Ashleigh, we used to be dance partners all the time. Do you remember the time she woke me up in the middle of the night to go swimming in the lake? She used to be one of my closest friends. Wow, I haven’t seen her in ages. How’s she doing? What’s she up to these days?”
“Well she’s in town right now. She’s been staying at her parent’s house for about a month now,” his mom told him.
“Why’s she staying with her parents? Is she just between jobs?”
“Well, she was diagnosed with breast cancer about six months ago,” his mother said slowly. “It was pretty hard on her so her parents wanted her to move home so they could help her out.”
And so we can't forget
We've got to keep remembering them all
(Them all)
The ones who took the fall
They did it for us all
And we should learn from it
Stand up if you believe in it
You've got to face the world
Be strong
Strong
Strong
Strong
Strong
Before he knew it Lance was staring up at Ashleigh’s large gray house. Its large yard was nicely manicured. He took a deep breath and walked up the front steps. He raised his fist uncertainly before bringing it to the door and knocking on it.
He stood there for a minute without a reply. He didn’t hear any movement within the house. He decided to try again. He raised his fist once more and knocked a little louder this time. He waited for another moment and he thought he heard movement inside. A second later the door opened and there she stood.
Ashleigh’s eyes widened in surprise when she recognized the man standing on her porch.
“Oh my gosh! Lance, I haven’t seen you in forever!” She rushed forward and threw her arms around his neck.
“Hey Ash, how’s it going?” he chuckled as he returned her hug. He let her go and gave her a good look over. She looked a lot thinner than she had the last time Lance had seen her. She was wearing gray pajama pants, a baby blue tank top, and a blue bandanna was tied around her head. Ashleigh’s once long thick hair was beginning to thin out some. It looked like she had gotten in cut in an attempt to try and hide that fact. She looked tired. It was the first time he’d seen her when she was sick.
Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through
(Things we went through)
I say it ain't worth losing you
(Losing you)
(Worth losing you)
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
(Someday)
Someday you'll see
(You'll see)
If only through heaven's eyes
Only through heaven's
(Through heaven's eyes)
(Heaven's eyes)
“Hey Lancie, how’s it going?”
Lance quickly shook himself awake. He’d been waiting for her to call him back all day. He had continually fought the urge to call her to see what was going on, but he knew she’d call him as soon as she had a chance. “Things are fine here. The real question is how are things going there?”
“Really good. My mom is going to be fine. They said she was really lucky. She managed to only get some scratches and bruises.”
Lance let out the breath he had been holding. “Thank God. I was so worried.”
“I know, me too,” Ashleigh said. The line went quiet for a moment or two.
“So, how are you doing then?” Lance finally asked.
“I’m fine. This has been a really emotionally draining day though.”
“No doubt,” he replied. A moment later he finally asked the question he’d been dying to ask her. “Uh Ash, when you called me earlier you said that you’d been praying for your mom…”
She sat there for a moment, unsure of how to answer. “Yeah, it’s the first thing that popped in my head to do when I found out my mom had been in the accident. I felt so helpless. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I know what you mean. I pray when I feel like that too.” Silence filled the lines once again. “So I guess that means you believe in God then?”
“Lance, I don’t think I ever didn’t believe in him. It’s just so hard to believe when all these awful things are going on around you.”
“You do know that God is not the cause of all of it right? You know that it’s people who have the free will to make their own decisions, but chose them poorly are the ones at fault?”
“Yeah, but what about me? What did I deserve to get cancer? Nobody made a wrong decision to cause that!” She exclaimed.
Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through
(Things we went through)
I say it ain't worth losing you
(Losing you)
(Losing you)
(Losing you)
(Oh yeah)
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
(Someday)
Someday you'll see
(You'll see)
If only through heaven's eyes
Only through heaven's
(Through heaven's eyes)
“I am so tired. I can’t keep fighting. They told me that I have a week maybe two to live. Now that you are here I don’t see any reason to keep fighting.”
“Ashleigh...” Ashleigh shook her head before continuing.
“Lance, I am so proud of you. You have achieved so much. Don’t ever let anything hold you back. I am so thankful to have you as my best friend. You won’t ever forget me will you?”
“How could you even think that I would? You will always be my best friend...always.”
“Lance, I love you so much. You sure that Monica treats you right, ok? You deserve nothing but the best.”
“I love you too Ash. You mean so much to me.” Lance felt like he was on the verge of tears. He never thought that he would have to sit here at this age and listen to his best friend talking to him like this. Ashleigh’s eyes started getting misty.
“Lance, will you do me a favor?”
“Anything Ashleigh. Anything.”
“Tell my parents I love them.”
“Ashleigh...don’t. Not yet. You can’t give up yet.”
“Lance, please...” Lance nodded his head. A silence fell over the two and Ashleigh’s eyes began to close.
“Ashleigh, wait...” Lance cried out. He wasn’t ready for this.
“Lance, don’t worry. I’m not scared. God will take care of me.” She smiled up at him. Lance smiled back and took her hand in his hands. He brought it up to his face and kissed it before holding it there. Ashleigh smiled again before replying.
“Goodbye Lancie,” she whispered and closed her eyes.
Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through
(Things we went through)
I say it ain't worth losing you
(Losing you)
(Worth losing you)
(Oh)
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives...
Their voices faded out. Lance waited a moment before adding, “Ashleigh I’ll miss you.” He bowed his head and walked back to his seat.
He’d managed to hold back his tears but now he finally felt that he could let them flow. The rest of the service went by, but Lance didn’t hear a thing. He was still in shock.
After the funeral Lance said goodbye to the Reynolds before he quickly made his exit. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep. He was so tired and all he wanted to do was have a moment to forget. But even in sleep he knew he would not have any peace. His dreams were haunted by memories of Ashleigh, both real and not.
The day after the funeral Lance planned to visit the Reynolds. He wanted to say goodbye before he headed back to Florida. His mom had tried to talk him into sticking around for a day or two, but Lance had refused. He knew he wanted to get back home where there could possibly be some sense of normalcy.
“Mon, It’s time to go say our goodbyes,” Lance said as he shook his wife to wake her.
“Unghh,” she groaned as she turned over to face him. “Give me just a minute to get ready.” She pushed herself up and immediately sat back down.
“Are you ok?” Lance asked with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just worn out after all we’ve been through. Just give me a minute.” She turned and tried to give him a reassuring smile.
“You don’t have to come along. If you need to rest you’re welcome to stay here.”
She took a deep breath. “No, I’ll be ok. Why don’t you wait down stairs for me? I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Sure,” he replied as he leaned in and kissed her forehead.
Monica got up and made her way to the bathroom. She was feeling a little queasy. She managed to pull herself together and get ready for the day. Monica made her way downstairs to find her husband. They soon began the familiar walk towards the Reynolds’ house. The walk was a quite one. Neither really spoke to the other. Lance was still too depressed to try to make conversion. Monica was depressed and sick. They were both ready to go home.
A few minutes later they were standing in front of the door. Lance reached up and gently rapped on the door. It was so quiet that Monica wasn’t sure that they inhabitants of the house would hear him. She was quickly proved wrong when David Reynolds opened the door.
“Lance, Monica! Come in, come in,” David moved over and invited them in. Lance took Monica hand and led her inside. Katherine was waiting in the living room. They had been expecting the young couple. The four said their hellos and then sat down to talk. It was a very strained conversation. No one really had anything to say except about Ashleigh, and no one had tried to touch that sensitive subject.
A little while later Lance looked down at his watch and realized it was time to leave. They were supposed to be meeting the rest of the group at the airport soon.
“I hate to cut the visit short, but we really need to get going,” Lance informed them.
“Oh yes, we understand. Thank you so much for coming. I know we haven’t brought up Ashleigh, but there is something that I wanted to tell you. Lance, you meant so much to her. You have no idea how happy she was that you two became so close again. And Monica, she was so glad to have met you. A lot of her friends started treating her differently when she found out she had cancer. She was also was glad that you two had become friends and you never treated her like she was any different. Thank you. That meant a lot to her and a lot to us too. She loved you both.”
“I loved her too,” Lance told her.
“I did too, I wish I had had more time with her,” Monica spoke up. The group started saying their goodbyes, before anyone got to emotional. David hugged Monica. Lance reached his hand out to shake David’s hand. The older man shook his hand and then quickly pulled him into a hug. Katherine then hugged them both and told them to keep in touch.
“You two are more than welcome to see us anytime you are in town.”
“Thanks Mrs. R,” Lance told her and hugged her one more time before the two blondes left the house.
Over the next couple of weeks the guys tried to do everything they could to get things back to normal and for the first time in a long time they finally felt they were starting to be. There had been times when Lance had been really down and depressed. The rest of the guys always sensed it and managed to drag him out of the house to do something to get his mind off Ashleigh...if only for a little while.
“I am still wondering if letting them go was a good idea,” Monica expressed to Keeley as the two sat at Monica and Lance’s kitchen table.
“How bad could it possibly be?” Keeley asked.
“Have you ever been in a car when Justin was driving?!?” Monica asked in shock.
“Hmm...you have a point.” The guys had decided all of sudden that they hadn’t gone go-cart racing in a long time and wanted to go. Monica and Keeley had elected not to go with them. Though now Monica was thinking it might not have been the best idea. “Although do you really want to be there to watch him act like a 5 year old when Chris beats him? He maybe old...but the man flies!”
“You’re probably right. I don’t think I would have been up to go anyway.”
“Are you still not feeling well?” Keeley asked, her voice laced with concern.
“Not really.”
“Have you gone to the doctor yet?”
“No. I don’t really see any point in it,” Monica informed her. “It kinda comes and goes. It is probably just stress. So much has been going on lately.”
“Well what’s wrong? Do you feel sick or do you just feel bad?” Keeley asked her. Monica told her how she had been feeling sick to her stomach a lot lately. She had thrown up a couple of times but she wasn’t too worried about it. Keeley listened to her talk about how she felt even worse while they were in Mississippi. After she finished Keeley sat and let the information sink in before speaking.
“Uh...Mon...is it possible you could be pregnant?”
“What? No,” she replied quickly. She thought about it for a second. Then she shook her head. “No. I’m not pregnant. There’s no way. I told you it’s just stress.”
“How are you so sure you couldn’t be?”
“I’m on birth control. I always make sure I take them.”
“Still there is that chance.”
“Do you really think so?” Monica asked as she considered what her friend was telling her.
“You never know,” Keeley said as she shrugged. “Besides I have heard the stress and traveling can make morning sickness worse.” Monica groaned in response. After a little bit of coaxing Keeley convinced Monica they should go to the drug store to get a pregnancy test.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Keeley asked once they got back to the house. It had taken a little longer than they had expected. Monica had chickened out when they got there.
“What if someone sees us?” Monica asked. She was always worried about doing something wrong that would hurt Lance’s image. The group’s publicity rep was always so worried about the fans.
“Oh for goodness sake. The two of you are married. Besides if you are pregnant everyone in the entire world will know just as soon as the words leave your mouth. I don’t even want to know how the media gets their information so fast!”
“No. I think I need to do this on my own.”
“Ok...if you are sure. Call if you need me,” Keeley told her and hugged her.
“Thanks,” Monica said and smiled before she turned to go inside. The blonde slowly made her way up the stairs to the bathroom in the master bedroom. She couldn’t believe she was even doing this. A couple of minutes later she was staring at the little stick that held the answer to her question.
“Monica! I’m home!” Lance called out.
“In here,” Monica called. Lance followed her voice and found her in the living room. She was curled up in his favorite recliner reading a book. He knew without even looking that there would a big a big glass of milk sitting on the table next to her. He also joked with her that they should buy a cow as much milk as she drank. He walked over to her and leaned down to kiss her. He chuckled as he stood back up and saw the glass sitting exactly where he thought it would be.
“What’s so funny?” Monica asked.
“Nothing. I just know you too well,” Lance told her as he plopped down on the nearby couch. Monica gave him a questioning look, but decided to ignore it.
“Did you have fun today?”
“Yeah I did. I felt like a kid again.”
“How bad did Justin act?”
“Not as bad as he could have been. We went easy on him so we didn’t have to listen to him cry like a baby.”
“Talking about babies...” Monica started. Lance quickly looked over at his wife wondering where this conversation was about to go. Monica couldn’t help but see the look he was giving her. She almost lost her nerve, but she wanted to see what he thought. “Keeley and I were talking about babies earlier today.” Lance’s face softened some.
“Oh yeah? Are she and Justin thinking about having a baby?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Oh. Ok...” Lance replied, becoming confused.
“You want kids right?”
“What kind of question is that? You know how I feel about kids. Of course I do. I have always wanted to have a family of my own.”
“When do you think it is the right time to have kids?” Monica asked. Lance pondered the question for a minute before answering.
“I don’t really think there is any right time. God decides that sort of thing.”
“But what if you didn’t think it was the right time? What if you were really busy with the group?”
“Geez you are full of questions today. I would never be too busy for that. Family comes first. You should know that too.”
“I’m glad you feel that way,” Monica said relieved. She laid her head back against the chair and sighed.
“Monica? Is there something you want to tell me?” Monica turned at looked at his face again. She stared at him for a few seconds before turning the other way. She pulled out the drawer of the table her milk was sitting on and picked up something from inside. Lance tried to see what she was doing, but couldn’t make it out. She reached over and handed it to him. Lance looked down to see what his wife had given him. He stared at the little white stick; a pregnancy test. Upon closer inspection he saw there was a plus sign in the little box. He stared at it in shock for a few minutes in complete silence. This worried Monica.
She bit her lower lip as she watched him. Monica had been scared to tell him. He was right, she knew how badly he wanted kids. They hadn’t been married very long though and she was so afraid that he was going to think it was too soon. He had always said that family came first but as she watched him she began to wonder if he still felt that way now that it was really happening. The suspense was killing her. She had to know something. She almost felt like apologizing.
“Lance?” the blonde said barely above a whisper. This caught his attention and he looked up at her. “Say something.”
“Does this mean what I think it means?” Monica bit her lip again before nodding her head. “We’re having a baby?” Monica nodded again. “We’re having a baby,” he repeated, but this time it wasn’t a question. “We’re having a baby. Oh my gosh! We’re having a baby!” He jumped up off the couch and pulled her out of the chair. He picked her up and began spinning her around. He continued to repeat “we’re having a baby!” over and over.
“Lance...Lance! Please stop spinning me. You are making me nauseous!” Monica begged.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Are you ok?”
“I am now. You don’t know how bad you had me worried. I was just waiting for you to get up and walk out of the room. I have never seen you look like that.”
“I am sorry. I was so not expecting that right now.”
“Are you mad?”
“How could you ever think that? I would never be mad about that sort of thing!” He hugged her again before going into eccentric mode again. “Oh my gosh. I can’t wait to tell everyone I know. I’m going to be a daddy!” He picked her up and spun her again.
“Lance!” He quickly stopped spinning her.
“Oops. Sorry. I forgot,” he told her with a sheepish look on his face. He gently put her feet back on the ground. Lance then took her hand and led her over to the couch. He sat down with his back leaning against the side. She sat in between his legs and laid back on him. She rested the back of her head against his shoulder. Lance wrapped his arms around her rested his hands on her stomach. The couple sat and continued to talk about the baby for awhile. Lance told her he was going to take the next day off and go with her to the doctor. He was anxious to find out how far along she was. He finally calmed down and began to get quiet. Monica was enjoying just getting to sit with him. She loved getting to have just a few minutes of him to herself.
“Monica?”
“Yeah?”
“You know if it's a girl I think I have the perfect name...”
The End