As soon as Lance realized that Ashleigh had disappeared, he and Monica began to search for her. He soon discovered that one of the limo drivers had taken her to his and Monica’s house earlier in the evening. Lance immediately got worried. He and his wife bid everyone farewell and told Keeley and Justin to have fun on their honeymoon.
“Ashleigh!” Lance called out as soon as he opened the front door.
“Honey, don’t yell. She may not have felt well and went asleep,” Monica advised him.
“You’re right. I’m going to go upstairs and see if she’s in her room.” Monica quickly scanned the downstairs area. Not finding Ashleigh, the blonde woman locked up and followed her husband upstairs. It was still kind of early but she was really tired. All she wanted to do was lay in her bed, watch TV and relax. Lance walked in the bedroom a few minutes later unbuttoning his dress shirt.
“Find her?” she asked before turning around, asking him to unzip her dress so she could change.
“Yeah. She’s sound asleep. Do you think we should wake her up and check on her?” Lance asked as he finished unzipping the dress and went back to undressing himself.
“It’s up to you, but maybe she just got tired and needed some sleep.”
“Maybe so.”
“Morning Ash,” Lance said cheerfully when his friend walked into the kitchen.
“Morning Lance. Morning Mon,” Ashleigh replied quietly as she joined the couple at the table.
“You feeling ok?” Lance asked. He got no response so he watched her for a few seconds. Ashleigh sat silently rubbing her temples with her eyes tightly shut. “Ash?”
“Huh?” the girl’s head quickly flew up and her eyes looked to her friend in question.
“I asked if you were ok,” Lance informed her.
“Oh yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Ashleigh told them as she plastered what she hoped looked like a convincing smile on her face.
“We were just kinda worried. You left the reception early last night. We weren’t sure where you had disappeared to,” Monica finally broke her silence.
“Oh yeah. I was just tired so I decided to come back here,” Ashleigh told them quietly.
Lance eyed her suspiciously but decided to let it go. “So did you sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you.” He looked her over. She looked awful. Her skin was pale with a slight greenish tinge to it. The dark circles under her eyes didn’t help her appearance any either.
Lance knew that she wasn’t telling him the truth but he didn’t think she looked up to a big discussion about anything.
“What time does your flight leave?” Monica asked, trying to brighten the mood.
“2:15 this afternoon. In fact, I should go pack. I’ll catch you guys later.” Before she’d finished her sentence Ashleigh had pushed her chair back and was heading for the doorway.
Silence fell between Monica and Lance. Both stared at their coffee cups deep in thought.
Finally Lance spoke up, “I wish she’d just tell me the truth. She won’t talk to me anymore.”
“She talks to you sweetie,” Monica replied.
“Not like she used to. She used to tell me everything, good and bad. Now it seems like she tries to keep me in the dark.”
“I don’t know what to tell you Lance, I just don’t know.” Monica reached over and grasped Lance’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
Lance quickly glanced at Ashleigh. It was so unlike her to be so quiet. Before they had left the house, getting Ashleigh to talk was like pulling teeth. Things hadn’t changed since. She had hardly said a word since entering the car. He was getting frustrated. All he wanted was for her to talk to him like she used to. When the pair was younger, they were almost inseparable. They told each other everything. Lance knew things about Ashleigh that no one else knew and vice versa. The blonde shuddered to think about some of the things Ashleigh knew about him. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to say something.
“Are you sure you are ok?” Lance asked quietly. His passenger turned to look at him in disbelief. She then began shaking her head.
“I swear if you ask me that one more time I am going to strangle you.” Lance let out a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a sigh.
“Why wont you talk to me? I am just concerned about you.”
“I am fine. I tell you this about 20 times a day when I am around you or talking to you. You know some things never change. You have always been a worrywart and I guess you always will be. I was hoping that Monica would break you of that habit. I sure as hell never have been able to,” Ashleigh informed him. She watched as his forehead wrinkled and a frown formed on his face.
“I just want the best for the people I love,” he told her plainly. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Ashleigh felt bad keeping her friend in the dark, but the last thing she wanted to do was give him something else to worry about.
‘The poor boy is going to worry himself into an ulcer,’ she thought to herself. She looked over Lance again. He still had the same hurt expression on his face. ‘Oh, I didn’t want to hurt him. I am just trying to protect him,’ her thoughts continued. ‘Ok Ashleigh you have to fix this.’ She sighed before reaching over and patting Lance’s leg.
“Lance, I’m fine really. I am just tired. That’s all. I promise.” Ashleigh watched as Lance’s face softened some.
“I’ll take your word for it,” Lance told her. He knew that she was still lying, but he was beginning to realize there was no way to get the truth out of her until she was ready to share it. That is just the way Ashleigh was. You didn’t find out anything about Ashleigh until Ashleigh was ready for you to find it out. She had always been one to let you know exactly what she thought about you though. Her mouth had gotten her in trouble several times. Lance had experienced the wrath of Ashleigh a few times and today he just didn’t think he was up to it, so he was decided to give up on the subject…for now.
Minutes later they were pulling into the airport. Lance parked his 4-Runner and they got out to unload Ashleigh’s bags. The two walked silently to the terminal. Ashleigh went through all the pre-flight stuff and checked her bags. They took the monorail to the boarding area and began to walk to the gate. Ashleigh flight would be leaving soon. Ashleigh linked arms with him. She wanted all harsh feelings to be gone before she left. This seemed to help calm him down some more.
“You’ll call me when you get home right?” he asked when they reached the gate.
“I always do.”
“Don’t forget. I know how bad your memory is,” he laughed.
“Flight 137 to Jackson now boarding at Gate 19.”
“Hey, that’s my flight,” Ashleigh announced.
“Yeah.” Lance always hated this part. Saying good-bye was never easy. If it were up to him, he would move his entire family and all his friends to Florida so they could be closer together.
“Don’t look so sad. We’ll see each other again soon.” She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling into a tight hug. They continued to hug for a few seconds before Lance whispered to her.
“I thank God for you everyday. God bless you.” Ashleigh quickly pulled away from him just as soon as the words had left his mouth. She gave him a look of disbelief.
‘I can’t believe he is trying to bring this subject up again. Just ignore it,’ she told herself.
“Um, I need to go. They just called for my flight again,” Ashleigh told him quickly.
“Ok. Be careful. Hope you have a good flight home.”
“Thanks. Bye Lancie.”
“Bye Ash,” Lance replied and then watched her walk away.
Lance waited in the terminal until he saw her plane soaring in the sky. With a sigh he turned and walked out of the airport.
Ashleigh closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of her seat. She had the beginnings of another pounding headache. She reached under the seat in front of her and grabbed her purse. She fished through it and finally found what she was searching for. She pulled the little prescription bottle out and fussed with the top before it finally popped open. She tapped the bottle on her hand until two little white pills fell out. She tossed them in her mouth and swallowed them dry.
During the time it took for the medication to kick in Ashleigh made a mental note to call her doctor about these headaches and fatigue. She’d been told about the possible side affects she could experience, but she had no idea that they could get this bad.
Some how she managed to fall asleep and only awoke when the pilot came on the loudspeakers of the plane to announce their arrival in Mississippi. She grabbed her purse and her bag from the overhead compartment and filed off the plane with the rest of the passengers.
When she emerged into the terminal, she was greeted by her mom.
“Hi sweetie, how was your trip?” Her mom said brightly as she embraced her daughter.
“It was great mom. The wedding was beautiful,” Ashleigh replied.
(the next morning)
“Not again,” Ashleigh groaned as she squinted her eyes shut tightly and massaged her temples. She leaned up off her bed far enough to catch a glimpse of her clock…2:37 am. “You have got to be kidding me!” She sighed and threw back her covers. Ashleigh stumbled through her room using only the moonlight to guide her to the bathroom.
‘Please let me have some of my medicine or something in here,’ she thought to herself. Just as she opened the medicine cabinet, another sharp pain shot through her head. The brunette had to tightly grip the sink to stop herself from falling. ‘They are getting worse!’ she thought as the pain started to subside. Ashleigh quickly grabbed the pain medicine she found in the cabinet and popped several in her mouth. She looked around on the counter and soon realized there were no cups in the dispenser.
“Damn,” she muttered. There was no way that she was going downstairs to get a glass so she decided to improvise and stuck her head under the sick faucet. She drank the water straight from there. Thoughts of having trouble getting back to sleep floated into her head while drinking. Ashleigh decided to take a couple of sleeping pills before she went back to bed.
Once back in bed, she pulled the covers up over her head trying to block out all lights and sounds. ‘The doctor has got to give me something to make these damn headaches stop,’ she thought to herself. She had called the doctor soon after she got back home to make an appointment. The headaches were getting worse, she didn’t think she could take much more. The girl lay in the bed hoping that the medicine would soon kick in. The strong medicine didn’t take long to kick in and soon she gave in to the sleepiness that was taking over her body.
The next morning, first thing, Ashleigh grabbed the phone and dialed that all too familiar number to her doctor’s office.
“Hello, Dr. Clayton’s office, Sally speaking, how can I help you?”
“Hi Sally, it’s Ashleigh.”
“Oh hi sweetie, how are you doing? You’re supposed to come in this Thursday aren’t you?”
“Actually that’s why I’m calling Sal. My headaches are getting really bad. Is there any way I could come in before Thursday?”
“Let me check hon. Hold on just a sec.” Ashleigh could hear Sally flipping through the pages of the appointment book. A moment later she came back on the line. “You’re in luck, there was a cancellation so we have an opening tomorrow morning at 10:00. Would you like me to pencil you in?”
“Sal you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!”
“Don’t mention it Ashleigh. See ya tomorrow.”
“You bet.” Ashleigh hung up the phone and sighed in relief.
She went through her daily activities, just trying to make the day go by faster. That night she fell asleep with a small smile playing on her lips. Help and possible relief from the pain was finally in sight.
“Dad I should be home in a couple hours. My appointment is at 10:00 and I’m hoping I won’t be stuck there forever,” Ashleigh said as she grabbed the piece of toast that had just popped from the toaster.
“Good luck hon. I hope everything goes smoothly,” her father replied.
“Thanks!” Ashleigh walked over and kissed her father on the forehead. “See ya later!”
Ashleigh made the fifteen-minute drive to Dr. Clayton’s office. Once there, she signed in and took a seat in the waiting room. It wasn’t long before she was called back and led into an examination room. It was very similar to the room she was in when she had been diagnosed with pneumonia.
‘Hopefully this visit will end in better news,’ she thought to herself.
Before she had a chance to get comfortable in her chair, the nurse began drilling her with questions about why she was there.
“When did the headaches start?”
“How frequently do you have them?”
“What kind of pain is it?
“Are the headaches getting better or worse?” the nurse asked.
“Um…they’re getting worse…” Ashleigh told her as she gave the nurse a strange look. ‘If they were getting better does she really think I would be wasting my day here?’ she thought to herself, but decided to keep her mouth shut. Her smart mouth was known to get her in trouble. Soon the nurse left and Ashleigh was left alone in the small room. She didn’t have to wait long before Dr. Clayton entered the room.
“Good morning Ashleigh.”
“Morning.”
“So I hear you are having bad headaches.” To this, Ashleigh simply nodded her head. “Can you think of anything that could have brought them on?”
“No not really. They have just been random. A couple of nights ago I woke up with a bad headache and then by the time I got to the bathroom I was having stabbing pains. The only thing I can think of is that they started after the last chemo treatment.”
“Hmm…” the doctor paused as he studied his notes. “Let me go check on some things. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok,” Ashleigh answered him, puzzled. ‘This isn’t going how I hoped. I hope it doesn’t turn out to be something big.’ Ashleigh continued to sit and worry for a few minutes. Finally, Dr. Clayton came back in the room.
“I am kind of worried that you are still having after effects from the last round of chemo after this long. In addition, headaches this bad aren’t usually a normal side affect. What I’d like to do is send you to a specialist. They would be able to take some x-rays…make sure nothing is wrong. If everything looks ok, they will probably just give you some stronger pain pills.”
“Ok…so where are you sending me?”
“I am sending you to Dr. Thompson’s office. She is in Brookhaven. It’s about an hour from here. Your appointment is in two hours. That will give you time to go get some lunch. Here are the directions,” he said as he handed her a piece of paper. “They are expecting you.”
“Thanks,” Ashleigh told him as she got up and walked out the door.
Ashleigh stared at the piece of paper in her hand. She examined the directions to Dr. Thompson’s office. She was usually pretty good with directions, but she wanted to have a good idea of where she was going. Once satisfied, she turned the key in her ignition and backed out of the parking space.
Within minutes, she was lost in her thoughts, cruising down the highway. She mindlessly sang along with the songs on the radio, not really paying any attention. The hour-long drive seemed to take only minutes and before she knew it, she was in Brookhaven. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Her appointment was at noon and it was only 11:20. She thought about getting food, but she decided she wasn’t hungry. She continued on with the directions and a couple minutes later she was pulling into The Center for Cancer research.
She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. She looked at the sliding doors that would lead her to knowledge. Knowledge she really wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She wanted the headaches and other side affects of her Chemo to stop. She wanted to move on with life. She knew that seeing this doctor could help her do so. ‘But what if he has bad news,’ she thought to herself. Immediately her thought’s shifted to Lance. She knew exactly what he would say to her right now. She chuckled as she heard his voice in her mind.
“Ashleigh Reynolds suck it up. I want you to go in there with your head held high and take care of this! Stop being such a baby!”
“Fine Lance,” she said outloud. “I know you’re right on this one.”
Finally, with determination she pushed open her door and walked into the reception area. She walked over to the nurse’s desk and waited for the woman behind it to look up and acknowledge her. After what seemed like minutes, the woman still hadn’t greeted her.
“Um, hi. I have an appointment with Dr. Thompson. My name is Ashleigh Reynolds. I’m a little early.”
The nurse gave her an appraising look before responding. “You certainly are early. Go sit in the waiting area. Your name will be called when the doctor is ready to see you.” The woman looked back down at her paperwork in front of her. It was obvious their conversation was over.
Ashleigh rolled her eyes as she walked over and took a set in an uncomfortable plastic chair. As she looked around the waiting room, her eyes fell on a little boy sitting next to his mother. He was deeply engrossed in playing with his toy car. The little boy looked like a normal child except for one thing. His little head was a hairless shiny globe. A side affect of chemo she knew all too well herself. A small smile played on her lips as she watched him make the screeching “eeerrrr” effect of the little hotrod slamming on it’s brakes and the “vrooommm vrrrooomm” of it’s little engine roaring. ‘At least he has some normalcy to his life,’ she thought.
She looked around the rest of the deserted room. In the corner sat a huge fish tank with brightly colored tropical fish lazily swimming around. ‘Does every doctor’s office have one of these?’ Her mind wondered. She thought back to all the doctors she’d ever visited and concluded that every doctor’s office did indeed seem to come with a fish tank.
Bored with her surroundings she reached for a magazine sitting on the side table next to her. She flipped through the copy on Cosmo with little interest. She grabbed the Entertainment Weekly sitting there and chuckled as she passed an article about Nsync. The article talked about their tour that had just concluded. The journalist gave the show a resounding two thumbs up. She checked the byline. She recognized the writer’s name. She’d been to the concert that he’d reviewed. In fact she remembered him. At the time he seemed a little skeptical of the legitimacy of an Nsync concert. She was glad to see that he’d had a good time.
Just as she was finishing the article, a nurse called her name. She looked up and smiled with relief when she realized that it was not the nurse she’d talked to earlier. This woman was much younger and had a bright smile on her face. It definitely helped to calm her nerves a bit.
She followed the woman down the hallway into a small examination room.
“Why don’t you take a seat on the table,” the nurse told her, motioning to the vinyl covered exam table behind her. Ashleigh hopped up on it and unconsciously swung her legs back and forth as she waited for the bombardment of questions she was sure was coming.
“Well your doctor has faxed us your file so I won’t have to ask you all of that preliminary mumbo-jumbo,” the nurse told her. She could see Ashleigh’s face relax when she said that. “I know that stuff can be a pain,” the nurse said with a wink.
Ashleigh sat and waited while the nurse scanned her medical records. “So your doctor referred you to us because you’re having bad headaches?” She said as a statement as well as a question.
“Yeah, and I’ve been really tired too. I have zero energy.”
“How’s your appetite been?”
“Hmm, it’s been OK. I don’t really get hungry. I just kind of eat because I know I have to,” Ashleigh told her.
“Alright Ashleigh, Doctor Thompson will be here in just a minute. She’ll probably ask you some more questions and we’ll run some tests. Just sit tight,” The nurse gave her one last smile and slipped out the door.
Less than a minute later there was a light knock on the door and an attractive brunette walked into the room.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Thompson,” the woman said as she extended her arm and firmly shook Ashleigh’s hand.
The doctor sat down in a chair opposite the table Ashleigh was perched on. “Well I’ve reviewed your file and I’d like to run some tests today. I understand you’ve been having some strange side affects to your treatment and I’d like to help you resolve this.”
Ashleigh nodded; her eyes were slightly wide with fear.
The doctor looked up from the file and smiled when she saw the look of panic slashed across her patient’s face. “There’s nothing to worry about Ashleigh. Nothing we do today will hurt.” She smiled reassuringly. “Relax! This will all be over before you know it.”
Ashleigh tried her best to calm down. “Now, we’re going to start by taking a blood sample alright.”
“I thought you said none of this will hurt!” Ashleigh exclaimed jokingly.
“Awe, you’re not afraid of a little needle prick are you?” Dr. Thompson asked playfully. “You should be very used to this by now.” She leaned forward and inserted the needle into the vein on the inside of Ashleigh’s arm. She pulled the end of the plunger back and withdrew a full syringe of blood. When she was finished, she put a piece of cotton underneath a Band-Aid with little smiley faces on it. “See, that wasn’t so bad!”
“OK, we’d like to do a CAT scan to try to find out what exactly is causing those headaches. We’ll do some x-rays as well to see if there is a recurrence. Then we’ll just take it from there.”
This was not what Ashleigh wanted to hear, but she held back her emotions and just nodded in agreement.
The doctor leaned over and opened up a cabinet and withdrew a gown and tossed it to Ashleigh. “I’d like you to put on this exam gown and I’ll be back in a minute to take you to the CAT scan.” The doctor closed the door behind her and Ashleigh picked up the putrid green gown with disgust. “Why do these things have to be so damn ugly,” she mumbled as she stripped down to her underwear and slipped on the gown. She carefully tied the strings in the back to make her outfit as modest as possible.
A couple minutes later the doctor reappeared and led Ashleigh down a hall into a room with a large machine sitting in the middle. Dr. Thompson helped Ashleigh get situated in the machine.
“OK Ashleigh, you need to lay perfectly still during the scan. I’m going to be in the room next door, right on the other side of that window. We will be able to hear what’s going on in the room so if you have any problems just speak up.” The doctor peered down at her and smiled before walking in the other room to get everything set up.
The CAT scan seemed to take forever. Ashleigh didn’t move a muscle as the table she was laying on slowly moved into the machine. When she was inside it felt like a coffin. Rather than looking around, she closed her eyes and tried to transport herself to another place. She thought of anything to take her mind off what was happening.
Finally, she heard the machine click off and the slight whur of the table as it moved her out of the scan. She heard the speakers click on and Dr. Thompson’s voice filled the room. “OK, we’re all finished. I’ll be in there in a minute to help you off the table.”
After the scan, Ashleigh was led into the X-ray room. Dr. Thompson helped her onto the X-ray table and put the film into the machine.
“I’ll be right back,” she told her as she went into the other room to hit the x-ray button.
Truth be told, these chest x-rays scared Ashleigh to death. She knew about the risks of them and she worried about the damage the rays could do to her reproductive system. She really wanted to have a family some day and she didn’t want the x-rays to make her sterile.
She realized how silly she seemed. Here she was lying on a table so the doctors could figure out if her cancer had come back and she was worried about being able to have kids. ‘I should probably focus on being cancer free first,’ she thought to herself.
A moment later Dr. Thompson emerged and took her back to her original exam room.
It will just take a couple minutes for these to get developed. Why don’t you wait here and I’ll have the radiologist take a look at your scan and your films.”
When the doctor came back, she sat down by Ashleigh. “Well I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”
“Uh, good,” Ashleigh replied as she bit her lower lip.
“OK, well the good news is that your CAT scan looks normal. I’m going to send it to someone to examine more closely, but I’m confident that it will come back normal.” The doctor smiled as she watched the look of relief flow over Ashleigh.
A moment later she tensed back up again. “And the bad news?”
“I’d like to do a needle biopsy on your breasts.”
“Why?” Ashleigh asked.
“Well, I just want to rule out everything and that is probably the best way to do it.”
Ashleigh swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She nodded her agreement and let the doctor lead her to another exam room.
The biopsy didn’t take very long and soon Ashleigh was dressed in her exam room, awaiting Dr. Thompson.
After the doctor arrived, she filled Ashleigh in on what to expect. “It’s going to take us a couple weeks to get the results of the biopsy. We will call your doctor with the results and he will get in touch with you. Until then, just go on with your life like you normally would. If you have any questions please feel free to give me a call. For now I’m going to write you a stronger pain prescription to help you cope with those headaches of yours.” She took a prescription pad out of her pocket and scrawled out the drug and the dosage for the pharmacy. She tore the prescription off and handed it to Ashleigh. Dr. Thompson rose to leave. She turned and gave Ashleigh one last smile. “You’re a tough girl. I know you can handle this, how ever it turns out.”
Once the doctor was gone Ashleigh gathered her purse and slipped on her jacket. She made her way out to the parking lot and unlocked her car. She sat down in the driver’s seat and leaned forward to rest her head on the steering wheel. This visit hadn’t gone at all as she thought it would, or at least hoped it would. She’d hoped that the doctor would run some simple tests and just say that the headaches and fatigue were just some lingering side affects. She’d hoped that the doctor would write her a heavier prescription and tell her that it would make her feel better.
She picked up her head and shook it. “Why is this happening?” She said outloud. She opened her eyes and with a sigh she started the car and started to head home.
Just as she’d merged onto the highway, she heard her cellphone jingling faintly in her purse. She almost didn’t hear it because the volume on her radio was turned way up. She frantically fished through her purse, trying to find the phone before the call was directed to her voice mail. She found it just in time. She punched the send button and breathlessly said, “Hello?”
“Ashleigh it’s Dad,” she heard her father say.
“Dad you’re not going to believe what I’ve been through today. I just…”
“Ashleigh listen to me,” her dad cut in. “There’s been an accident. You’re mom is in the hospital.”
“What?” She asked in disbelief. She thought she’d heard him wrong.
“The hospital just called and told me that your mom was in a car accident and was transported there. I’m on my way over there and I want you to meet me there OK.”
“How badly is she hurt?” she asked.
“I don’t know, they wouldn’t tell me her condition over the phone. Just meet me there OK. We’ll be able to find out more then.”
“OK, dad. I’m on my way but it’ll take me like an hour to get there.” She looked at the passing sign that read Clinton 56 miles. She clicked her phone off and threw it in the seat next to her.
A thousand thoughts were running through her mind at once. Unconsciously the first thing that passed through her lips was, “God please let my mom be OK.”