Chris sat in the kitchen at the WEG compound. Although each of the guys had their own homes, most of their days were spent at Johnny’s, because there was always someone around and something to do.
He flipped through a few more pages, looking for some songs that might be good for Jamie to cut as a demo. He had found a few already, but he wanted to find some more, just in case.
The door opened quickly and Chris glanced up to see Justin walk in. His heart broke just a little at the sight of his friend. The usually happy guy that loved to make people laugh was no longer there. Now all that was left was this shell of a man that never seemed to smile anymore.
“Hey man. What’s shaking?” Chris pretended to not notice the dark circles, and the stubble that covered his friend’s face. He also didn’t need to stare to know Justin’s clothes were wrinkled and he’d probably slept in them. No, instead he treated his friend like he always had, hoping to maybe bring that man back.
Justin gave Chris a weary glance, not sure if this was a trap. “Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong? Or why I’m not talking to anyone?” He asked in a mocking tone. Chris just smiled.
“Justin, I’ve known you since before you hit puberty and your voice changed. You’ve always had the same three moods and it’s not hard to tell what you’re in right now. I don’t need to ask how you’re doing, because it’s right in front of me; and I don’t need to ask what happened because I already know. I also know you hate being babied, so I won’t pretend I want to.” He looked back down at his papers and pretended to be done with the conversation. He did this because he also knew Justin was itching to tell someone his problems. He had always been that way. He would brood for a while, chewing on his emotions, and then he’d seek someone to spill his guts to. That someone was mainly Chris. He slowly started the countdown in his head. 5…4…3…2…
“I don’t know what to do Chris.” Justin let out a huge sigh as he plopped down into a chair next to his. “I can’t get her out of my head. She hurt me so much man, and I was in love. I was head over heels, and she made me so happy. I don’t know what went wrong. I just know that all of a sudden she decides it’s not working for her. It hurts man, but I can’t seem to let her go. I’ve called her a few times, but she won’t answer anymore. And God Chris, everything reminds me of what we had…what I lost.”
Chris’ heart broke even more to hear his friend’s confession and to see him crumbling like this. Hi was usually so strong, but Chris knew for a fact that Justin had been in love, and that this had come out of no where. It was sad to see something so great fall apart, and even worse for it to happen to such a great person.
“She sent back all the stuff I had at her house, and asked that I return hers.” Justin looked up at the older man and fought back tears. “She told me…she told me that she couldn’t love me because she thought that I loved my job more. She said that she had found someone that could always be there for her…Chris I would give the world just to hold her again.” He sniffled back more tears and wiped his eyes roughly with his hands.
Chris reached over and placed a hand on Justin’s back, trying to give what comfort he could. “I wish I could tell you what to do, J. But I can honestly say that this was unexpected.” He didn’t know what his words would do, but he was striving for comfort. “You did everything you could to keep that relationship going. Don’t let her blame you, because you know you tried. It just didn’t work out.” Justin nodded a thank you and offered a weak smile. He felt much better having gotten that off his chest. He stood up and stretched his tired muscles and then went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He was about to slip out the door when Chris called his name.
“Justin…She didn’t love you like you loved her, and it wasn’t meant to be. But you’ll find your soul mate, she’s out there somewhere.” He smiled encouragingly and then watched as Justin slipped out the door.
Justin slid on his sunglasses to block out the bright sun. He walked slowly to his car, enjoying the warmth of the sun, and this new feeling of relief. He was glad he got to talk to Chris, and let someone make sense of these bottled emotions. He sighed and got into his car and drove away, toward the beach near by. He decided he would watch the sunset, a first since the break up. It was often something he and his girlfriend used to do, and he knew it would bring back painful memories. But he decided he would make this tradition his own, free from memories of her. He didn’t need to remember her, with her long brown hair that he would spend hours just running his hands through. Her bright green eyes that made his knees weak, her smile, and her soft smooth skin that felt so good up against his. Her beautiful lips that could render him speechless… Justin shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts. It didn’t help the healing process by dwelling on something that was no longer his. He let out a defeated sigh and pulled into the small parking area by the beach. He got out and stood next to his car, watching the colors swirl in the distance and the subtle way night crept in. He watched how the sun sank lower in the sky and drowned the world with golden hues, making everything look right. He knew he had a long way to go, and that it would take a long time before he was able to really let her go, but this was a start.
