When the sound of cars could no longer be heard, Jamie picked herself up and hastily started to pack her bags. She rushed around the room and threw whatever she could find into the open suitcase on her bed. She wanted to be gone before they returned, because saying goodbye would be so hard, and seeing the smug look on Justin’s face would be too much.
Jamie grabbed the phone next to her bed and dialed information. “Hi, I would like you’re next flight to Nashville. I need to leave right away, if that’s possible.” She glanced at the clock and read 6:07 in bright red numbers. “You have a flight out at 7? That’s perfect. No, I only need one ticket. OK, thank you.” She hung up and ran to her purse, finding the money her father had scraped up for her incase of emergencies. She stared at the money for a while before stuffing it into her pocket and running to the bathroom. Five minutes later, she had everything packed in her bags and she was wresting them down the stairs.
The group sat outside of a quaint ice-cream shop that was set on a small country road. Justin and his parents all sat at a picnic table, and they watched Joey, Chris, JC and Lance chase Jon and Steve around. Globs of ice cream stained the children’s shirts and chocolate smiles were wide and giddy. Everyone was smiling and laughing, except Justin. His mood hadn’t gotten any better and Jamie’s words were pulling at his conscience.
She had confessed to him that he had made her feel the exact way she made him feel. It added even more to the confusion and he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Justin…what’s wrong honey? Did you and Jamie get in a fight?” His mother sat next to him and rubbed his back, trying to sooth her son. He had a far away look in his eyes, that she knew all to well, and this look scared her. It scared her because she knew he was thinking hard about something, and he was getting frustrated. She was worried that it was about Jamie because she knew they hadn’t gotten along very well.
Lynn had met Jamie when the girl was only 5. Her father had moved in next to Randy, and when Lynn would take Justin to see his father, she would see this lonely little girl sitting on an old swing in the back yard. It wasn’t until later that they really got to know each other, and a strong bond had been formed. Jamie’s mother had left when Jamie was three, and the poor girl was devastated and took most of the blame on herself. Allen, Jamie’s father, was having a hard time making ends meet, so he looked to his old friend Randy for help.
Lisa and Lynn had decided that they would become Jamie’s female influence, and help out Allen. They took her shopping, and helped her through all the tough patches that a girl encounters. Justin never met Jamie because he was away in Europe, and Lynn never really spoke about her. Jamie was also a very shy child, and throwing her into the frenzy that was *NSYNC would be like giving her to the wolves. Jamie eventually moved away with her father, and they lost contact for a while.
Now that she was back, Lynn regretted not introducing the kids to each other earlier. She could see that it was taking its toll on Justin, and she would bet that it was hitting James just as hard.
“Justin, talk to me…tell me what’s going on.” She waited as he sighed and dropped his head to the table.
“It’s her mom. Everything I do, she’s some how connected, and it’s driving me nuts! I thought for sure that you being here would make it better, but you’re long lost friends! I can’t stand it. She’s everywhere, and she fits in so nicely. It’s like she was always apart of this group, and I think I’m going crazy.” He hit his head on the table a few times before she told him to stop. Lynn had a feeling that it was more than just Jamie fitting in so well.
“Really? Well…talk to her, find out her differences, and then you’ll have something to do that she’s not connected to.”
It sounded so simple when she put it that way.
“It’s not that easy. I mean, when she’s around…she…I…UGH!! She’s making me insane here Mom. I don’t think I can handle this for much longer.”
Suddenly a light bulb went off in Lynn’s head.
“You have fallen for Jamie.” She stated it so clearly and confidently that Justin turned to see if there was a sign somewhere that read those words.
“What are you talking about…no I haven’t. She’s-“
“Justin, before you try to convince me, you should take a long hard look at yourself. I know that you just had a nasty break up, but can you honestly tell me that it was going to last forever? You can’t go around beating yourself up over feelings and things you can’t control. Find out how Jamie feels, and go by your heart this time. Keep your head out of it.”
“Mom, I’m telling you, I don’t like the girl…I mean, if I can’t stand to be around her then I can’t possible like her.” He was reasoning, but it was more for his own benefit then his mother’s.
“Really? What is it about her that you can’t stand?” She asked, shifting to get comfortable and look her son head on.
Justin thought about what his mother asked him, and he realized that the answer made no sense. “I don’t like the way she makes me feel.” He was quiet when he spoke, and Lynn hid the smile that grew on her face.
“How does she make you feel? Exactly.” Justin looked at his mother and sighed again. He swore this confusion thing was all a woman’s game, because he had never met a guy that made things so complicated.
“She makes my stomach flip with butterflies, she makes the world around me disappear and I swear that the first time I met her I head an extremely loud click. She’s beautiful, and she reminds me of back home. She reminds me of everything that I miss about Tennessee and everything I ever wanted in a partner. She has this way of turning the room upside down, but in an extremely good way. But all of that’s bad, because I don’t want that. I thought that’s what I had before, but it left me. I don’t want to feel any of this about James, because I know it’ll only end.”
“How do you know it will all end, Justin, if you never take a chance and let it begin?” Lynn looked at Justin and hoped that her point was getting through. “Justin, tell me honestly that you’ve felt this way before. If you can sit there, look straight in my eyes and tell me that you have felt these exact feelings before, for anyone, then I’ll leave you alone.” She watched him and waited. Justin sat and stared at his mother, thinking about what she was asking him.
“I…” He looked at her and realized that he couldn’t sit there and lie to his mother. “I can’t do that.”
“Go tell her that Justin.” She reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze.
“I can’t do that either. There’s no way Mom, I’m sorry. I know that you love Jamie, but I can’t. I don’t even know if I can be friends with her…I just can’t.” He closed his eyes and sighed. Lynn let go of his hand and patted him on the back.
“I think you two need to talk these things out. Right now though, I think we should all just go home.” She walked over to a half asleep Steven and scooped him up, bringing him over to Lisa. She then gathered up everyone else and they all went to their cars and headed home.
The whole ride home Justin battled with himself, and with his feelings about Jamie. He couldn’t let her in, but some how, he felt he already had. He felt that he had no say in the way Jamie made him feel, and he knew that from the moment he laid eyes on her. Jamie had cast her spell without even glancing in his direction, and then the first time he did look in her eyes, it was all over. Any other time he would have jumped at the chance to start something with her, but he past experience with women had tainted his view on relationships. Deep inside he knew there was no comparing Jamie to any other girl he’d met, but he couldn’t get past the fact that he’d been burned.
With a deep sigh that seemed to come from somewhere other than himself, he pulled into the driveway at Johnny’s, where his family would be staying because there was more room, and parked the car. He glanced up at the window that was Jamie’s room and decided that they really needed to talk. No holds barred. They would lay everything out on the table, and hopefully he would be able to walk away and end this chapter in his life.
