Chapter 1: Stained
There he was, just standing there, listening to the last prayer. He was getting tired now, and a little annoyed. He just really wanted to leave, that�s all he could think about, just getting out of there. As he stood looking at the coffin in front of the church, he heard a cough from the pews across from where he was sitting. He turned slightly to acknowledge it. He then heard a loud sob come from the front of the church, and then he heard the same lady cry out as if she was in some horrific pain.
He turned to look down at his shoes, trying to shut out the lady�s loud sobbing, and for some reason he noticed there was a stain on one of them. He knew who the cry belonged to, it was Linda. As he continued to inspect his shoes, for a minute it hit him, and for a minute he actually had to catch his breath, and for a second he was almost sad, and he himself felt like letting out a cry. But the minuet passed by him quickly, and again there he was; irritated that an hour and a half of his time had been taken up, and that there was a stain on his shoe.
�It�s okay honey,� Jessica said, as she put her arm around his shoulder, and pat him on the back pretending to care. He looked up from his shoes at the tall, curly haired women. She wasn't facing him though; she was looking to the front of the church like everyone else.
�I�m fine. You don�t have to pretend to comfort me, I wasn�t crying,� He said, looking at her still.
�I wasn�t pretending. I do have a soul you know, I mean, your father just died. That has to be a little sad for you. It�s okay if you cry, I won�t hold it against you.� She stared straight ahead.
�I wasn�t crying. Why would I cry over someone I didn�t even know? I've only had four conversations with the man in my whole life. Besides, he doesn�t deserve tears. I don�t know why she�s crying for him,� AJ pronounced coldly, as he looked at Linda being comforted by someone.
�You sure are being Mr. Negative today aren�t you? She was his wife, of course she�s going to cry, she loved him.�
�Too bad, he didn�t deserve her love,� he said as the benediction ended.
AJ hadn't always been negative or empty; at one time he had been the wildest guy in the Backstreet Boys. But two years ago he decided that the wild life was getting old, and he wanted to become more reserved. He decided he would stay out of trouble and become more business oriented. In his mind, he had decided this for himself, but for people on the outside looking in, it just seemed like the L.A. life had gotten to him.
He saw how well being reserved seemed to work for Kevin, so he thought the change would be good for him. He was getting older and he decided it was time for him to grow up.
He was happy to be out of the church and back into the outside world now. The funeral was finally over, and he could return home and go back to his life. As he went down the steps of the church with Jessica�s arm wrapped around his, he saw the short blond women walking towards him. He wanted to dodge her but he couldn�t, there was no place he could escape. He had to talk to her.
�Are you okay?� Linda asked, as she came up and gave AJ a small hug.
�I�m doing well.�
�I know this was hard for you. Coming here and all, but I know he would have been glad to know his only son came. He was proud of you AJ, so proud. If you could have just seen it. The way he looked whenever he talked about you...it was just, just magical.�
She let out a slight sob as her voice cracked a little. AJ stood, staring at the women blankly; trying to fix his face so he looked as though he cared.
�AJ I know right now you�re probably feeling a little hurt, and maybe even confused about the way you should feel. But I hope you know deep down whatever he might have done, he really loved you. It'll be okay, we'll all get through this sad time together,� Linda said, taking AJ into another embrace holding him longer and patting him on the back this time. �Are you okay darling?� Linda asked, looking up at Jessica.
�I�m good, thanks,� Jessica said, giving a warm fake smile.
�Well, you hang in there AJ; everything is going to turn out all right.� She told AJ, while taking his hand, and sounding as though she was trying to reassure herself more then she was him.
�Yeah it will, thanks,� He said, pulling his hand away. �Well, I have to get going now. We'll talk later, take care now, bye,� AJ said, turning away from Linda, trying to walk more quickly now. �Lord, I though it would never end, he started, as he entered in to the parking lot.
�Well, I suppose it was a good waste of time. Gave me time to think about what I�m going to wear for dinner tonight, so it wasn't completely wasteful. It also gave me time to think about what we should do for our five month anniversary coming up next Friday,� Jessica said, entering the Mercedes. AJ rolled his eyes without letting her see him do it. He didn�t understand why she wanted to celebrate a five month anniversary. To him she was just another girl he would spend a couple of months with in the spotlight. And then eventually he would tire of her and she would tire of him, and in two months or so he would have another model on his arm.
This was the longest relationship he�d had though. Before now, the longest had only lasted three months, so maybe it could actually work. But deep down he knew it wouldn�t, because he didn�t really love her, and he knew she probably didn�t really love him either. This was just a business arrangement in his mind. He was a Backstreet Boy so there for he needed a beautiful girlfriend to take to shows and parties. And she was a model, so there for she needed a rock star boyfriend to show off to her friends and make her status known. Besides that, she also loved his money, and for her, that over came love any day.
�So where do you want to eat for lunch? I�m starving now. For some reason sitting all that long time made me hungry.� Jessica smiled as she checked her make up in the mirror.
�I�m not really hungry. Funerals don�t exactly give me an appetite,� AJ said, turning a corner. Jessica started to ramble.
�Well I was thinking about Gardenias. They have an excellent vegetable platter. I was just eating there the other day and I noticed they added carrots. I�m not a carrot kind of person, but you know what? They were actually good, I was really surprised. They steam them differently or something.�
A thought suddenly came to AJ as he drove.
�You know what? Actually, I need to go by and meet with our attorney. He�s suppose to be handling some stuff for us, and I told him if I had time I�d meet with him today. So how about I drop you off, and pick you up at Gardenias in an half an hour or so?�
�I guess that will be okay. I mean, if you don�t mind guys staring at me and trying to hit on me.�
�Guys don�t stare, and hit on you.�
�Well that�s because, maybe you haven�t been paying attention lately. And why don�t you think guys hit on me?�
�Never mind Jessica, I don�t feel like arguing with you right now.� AJ was starting to get annoyed by her voice all of a sudden. He pulled into the restaurant parking lot, and parked.
�Don�t be late AJ. You have an half an hour okay,� Jessica said, as she stepped out of the car.
�Yeah okay, I'll be back.� Jessica slammed the door, and he drove off down the street. His mind drifted back to the attorney as he drove. The Backstreet Boys were in trouble once again with their management. Management was suing them saying they were in breach of contract. They needed a lawyer now, and quick, and he knew who would be great for the job.