Prize Quiz
Email this Prize Quiz
Nov 23,
2:49 PM (CST)
By Monica's Dadyo
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(FGA) In this artist's rendition by Monica, she
has expressed her feelings for my quizzes...She thinks they are "One Whole
Lotta Bull".
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The World's Most Apparently Simple Quiz: (Getting a passing
grade will get you a fabulous discount on our books and CDs for you'll buy
one and get an equil or lesser priced one FREE!) Remember postage and handling
is only $1 per book, Postage on CDs is FREE! We know this is a difficult
test made harder by crass insults on certain answers! But that's just to toughen
you up to the real world where undeserving people get preferences for jobs
and free tuition to college just for being average and showing up!
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1)Q: Just how long did the Hundred Year's War last?
A. Like the name implies: 100 years, fool!
B. 105 years, from 1337 to 1442
C 116 years, from 1337 to 1453
D. Until both sides ran out of arrows
2)Q: In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A. September, they like to be early when the harvest comes
B. October as the name implies, knothead!
C. November 2 (Russia's calendar was 8 days behind)
D. November 7 (Russia's calendar was 13 days behind)
3)Q: In which country are Panama hats made?
A. Ecuador
B. Panama, dumbhead!
C. Paraguay
D. Belize
4Q: We obtain Peruvian Balslam (a type of wood) from which country?
A. Brazil, are you nuts?!?!
B. Russia
C. EL Salvador
D. Peru, squirrel brain!
5)Q: Which animal yields catgut?
A. Ferral cats, because the roam wild, ya bonehead!
B: The sheep
C. Deer
D. The Catgut Tree
6)Q: From what type of material are moleskin trousers made?
A: A hard wearing cotton fiber called moleskin
B. Muslin
C. Lots of moles cut off by skin surgeons
D. Moles trapped in their underground burrows, ya ninny!
7)Q: Chinese gooseberries come from where?
A. Canada where gueese feed on them.
B: They're fruits grown in New Zealand
C. Fedoria
D.Red China, nincompoop!
8)Q: What kind of creatures were the Canary Islands named after?
A. Obviously, the canaries who died in the mines of the Canary Islands,
meathead!
B. Big Bird, of television fame.
C. A breed of large dogs (Latin name: Canarie Insulae 'Island of dogs')
D. Guese imported to eat gooseberries.
9)Q: What was King George VI's first name?
A: Albert
B. King
C. Eighth
D. George, gorge head!
10)Q: In what season does 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' take place?
A. Late Winter
B. Summer, you summer school dropout!
C. The Spring (April 29-May 1)
D.Fall, and it's about a 'fall guy'
11)Q: What is a camel's hair bursh made of?
A. Squirrel Hair
B. Human hair
C. Hog bristles
D. Long-haired Siberian Camels, ya flake!
12)Q: How long did the Thirty Year's War last?
A. 30 Years...OF COURSE. ya horse!!!
B. As long as 'The War of Roses' another name for it, 28 years
C. Until Prince Machevelli died
D. 30 Days, but the threat was for 30 Years, lamebrain!
13) Special Extra credit
How many insults are contained in the above test? You
didn't take anything personal, did you? After all the test is jest in fun
and now jesting for FUN, by Yemminy!
12 People Buried with Objects:
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1. Tutankhamen:
Buried with his treasures
2. Sir Walter Raleigh:
Buried with his favorite pipe and a tin of Tobacco
3. Elizabeth Rossetti:
Buried with a manuscript of her poems
4. Wild Bill Hickock:
Buried with his Sharps rifle
5. Reuben John Smith:
Buried with an easy chair and his favorite checkerboard
6. Rudloph Valentino:
Buried with a slave bracelet
7. Bela Lugosi:
Buried in his black Dracula cape.
8. Humphrey Bogart:
Buried with a small gold whistle
9. Sandra West:
Buried seated at the wheel of a Ferrari
10. Harry 'The Horse' Flamburis:
Buried with his Motorcycle
11. Elvis Presley:
Buried with a diamond ring
12. Lots of fooles who get buried with $10,000 coffins because they got
gouged one last time before the taxman got the rest. Undertakers, knowing
that selling you a gigantic pyramid is impractical, do the next best thing(for
them) and sell you an over-priced "boat" to take you to the "River Styx"!
If it floods a lot someday, the coffin could be a sort of submarine....!
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A Collection of Wierd Gravestone Epitaphs
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In a Falkirk England, Cemetery
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Here lies the body at rest
Fat Mary Preston
Who's now moved to heaven
To relieve the Congestion.
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Death Valley, California
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Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlette
Born a virgin, died a harlot;
For 16 years she kept her virginity,
A damn'd long time for this vicinity.
In a Moultrie, Goergia Cemetery:
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Here lies the father of twenty nine.
We woulda had more, but he didn't have time.
In a Enosburg Falls, VA Cemetery:
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Here lies the body of Anna
Done to death by a banana,
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Battersea, London Cemetery:
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OWEN MOORE:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
Boot Hill, near Tombstone, Arizona
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Here lies Les Moore
Three slugs from a .44
No Less
No More
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Death Valley, California
Beneath this slab of stone
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt
He died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.
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