1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any
Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking
where the Any Key is.
2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the
mouse was packaged in.
3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A
few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the
floppies.
4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying
to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and
hitting the "send" key.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The tech explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find
printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
printer."
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I
pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot
pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she
pressed the power switch, she ask "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support.
"I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the
third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that
"Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing
software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert
into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and
wondered why there were problems.
11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did
you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this
cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It
just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand
it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech
asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Now don't you feel better about your skill level?