"Never trust a dog to watch your food." - Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, " Do I look stupid?' Don't answer." - Hannah, age 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." - Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes." - Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." - Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." - Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." - Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac." - Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time." - Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." - Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." - Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." - Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick." - Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." - Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone." - Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." - Eileen, age 8