Marriage is Like a Violin

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:  Take two and keep away from children. 

It's a very strange name they picked for "Social Security."  For what they actually send you, you can't afford to be "social" nor can you really feel "secure." 

Every man needs a wife because there are a number of things that go wrong that one cannot blame on the government. 

Marriage is like a violin.  After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached. 

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one? 

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. 

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.