| Dr. Mongo is VERY "in" |
| Dr. I have this lower pain in my back. Would you look at it? What can I do for it? signed Frieda Freeloading Dear Ms Free I only play a doctor on TV. In real life, I am a roofer. Dr. Mongo |
| Dr. Mongo..... I am sure my boyfriend is telling me the truth when he says he isn't cheating on my. I am concerned when he tells me he is going to WalMart and it is 11 p.m. at night and I don't see him until two evenings later. How do I handle this? Perplexed. Dear Perplexed. Wash his clothes and use plenty of scented fabric softner. Single men don't use fabric softner and this is like marking your territory. Then, ask him to bring home some Tampons. Dr. Mongo |
| Dear Dr. Mongo I have seen the advice you give to others and wish you could send me some good karma. You are such a wonderful and inciteful human being. In Awe Dear In Awe Yes |
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| A good yurt is never far from it's yak |
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| "Yak Soup for the Soul" At your bookstores now! |
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| Again, I ask...what kind of a "doctor" are you? Wondering Thank for this question. I am entertaining a thought brought up by many of my fans to publish my memoirs. Included with this would be an auto- biography. And some autographed glossies. In short, I have studied at the UoP (University of Pacioma) extension in Big Sur during the Hail of Meteors of 1969 thru 1972. Previously, I had been at Santa Maria Moraga de La Lucia de Hasty Bananas University and San Diego State. I had graduated 22nd in my class of '02. Rumors that they withheld my diploma until I paid off that small society debt are untrue. I was serving concurrent terms. I did my internship at the Holistic Culinary Institute of Exitstentialism in San Pedro. For the uninformed, this is the first university to hold labs in the fine art of Eating and Running. I traveled to the near East to experience the deli's of New York. New Jersey and New Orleans. Some of the highest Sanskrit teachingsof Tidbitian Moralisms are taught there. It was here I discovered my unique abilities to dispense humble sharings sprinkled amid taco-flavored wit. I have been told none do it better. I can remember when the present site of the Lemmore Denny's was a Chinese deli. The last three years I've been a recluse studying salt water aquariums and the many flavors one can add to pancakes. I hope this answers your question. Your Doctor |
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| Dr. Mongo There are those who say your only degree is in parapsychology. Is this true? A Believer Dear Believer, While I do hold one degree in this subject, I also have more degrees than a rectal thermometer. Keep the Faith! Dr. Mongo |
| Mongo-hito Make sure you brush your teeth and wear clean underwear everyday!! Your #1 Fan Dear Fan Yes, Mother. |
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| Dear Doctor Pamela Anderson is petitioning for a boycott of KFC for better treatment of it's chickens. What should I do. I respect her every word and would like to honor her wishes but I also have to eat? I am in such a quandry! HELP!! |
| (Excuse the Doctor for a moment......I think he just swallowed his stethascope!) |
| We, the Staff, are sorry for the inconvenience of prolonged repeated letters to the Doctor. We'd write something clever but it's hard to motivate ourselves on the pittance he pays us! Besides, he's choking on his KFC chicken meal still. |
| HELP!! Dr. Mongo!!!! I CAN'T FRICKEN DO IT! COPY AND PASTE DOESN'T WORK WITH SBCGLOBAL. IT SUCKS! Cyberly Frustrated! Dear Miss Cyberly, In my experience, yelling and frustration are only signs of deeper seated malignancies not thoroughly faced and treated throughout one's childhood. "Copy and Paste" are not the result of the sucking abilities of any internet provider, especially SBC Global, a very reputable and trustworthy service. For starters, I would take a look at the usage - and for that matter, overusage - of the word "sucks." Often, the physical action of "sucking" is not even possible by such services as SBC Global. There are other industries that do provide that very function, again, unfortunately, for a small fee. But, let us not trample on those good women, too much, for their services have been much mismaligned over the centuries when all they were trying to do was earn a buck. No, let us first examine why you have such an obsession for the use of the word. In perusing thru my past clients' histories, I've found many a female client who has relieved herself of the obsession to use this word. It does require, however, intensive in office therapies. Please call for an appointment. yours very, very, very, very truly hoping you call, Dr. Feel So Good Mongo |