I am told people enjoy my columns. This makes me happy. The funny thing is I have been told this mostly by my friends. "Of course," you muse, "friends would have to say they like her columns." And that only makes sense. After all, someone has put her reputation and neck on the line. It would be cruel if even her friends did not tell her she was funny. Well, I might be in La-La Land, but I think my friends really do find me funny, and I will tell you why. They know all the stuff I write about is true! Nary a word is embellished. They've seen a lot of it happen right before their very eyes. Or, they've seen me shortly thereafter with tears in mine! All of us have funny stories to tell - especially about our homeschool escapades. We just don't realize how humorous we are. We especially do not realize this right in the middle of a catastrophe or during the events which seem, at their occurrences, to be catastrophes. Take the time one of our sons was hyper-ventilating from dislocating his jaw while vomiting. Just picture this for a moment, if you please. There is a six-foot four-inch guy with an upset stomach. He vomits. While throwing up, he somehow dislocates his jaw. His mother and his mother's friend call three dentists, all of whom tell them to go to the nearest emergency room. "And, ma'am, please don't wait." It took those words to kick these two into gear. On the way, the guy cannot speak but is desperately trying to tell the two women in the car something. He is depending on the women to be responsible for his care and probably his life, yet they do not get what he is trying to communicate. So they venture guesses, all of which evoke emphatic negative shakings of the head by the now-worried young man. Do you want the window down? NO. Do you want me to scoot over so that you can lie back in your seat? NO. Do you have to throw up again? NO. Do you want us to pull over? NO. "I think he wants to write something," the driver says. Bingo! Finally, the smarter (point debatable) woman of the two gets an idea. She digs in her purse and rips a piece of packaging off her gum, locates a pen, and hands these to the young man, who is barely able to scribble one word: NUMB. He begins to wildly point to his hands, which were by now almost completely gone. "Ohmigosh! He's going numb," the mother of the child tries to say calmly. Soon, the boy is pointing to his feet letting the women know that those, too, are getting numb. "Ohmigosh!" The mother coaches the kid in breathing deeply and slowly, like this: "All the way in, all the way out; all the way in, all the way out." She has seen numb and purple on a child before, as she has a daughter with severe asthma. It ain't pretty, but with this child she knows things will be okay. Still tension is rising. They make their way toward the hospital by tailgating all cars, which happen to have Southern Saturday Slowpokes for navigators. Good grief! They finally reach the ER, where the young man is whisked away and hooked up to an IV into which is shot huge amounts of muscle relaxers and sedatives to accommodate his large frame. Okay, so what's the funny part? Well, you had to be there, I guess. One of the funny things - now that it's over - is that the women had to get opinions from three - count them - THREE dentists that a dislocated jaw warrants a trip to the emergency room. That's a true homeschooler mentality: exhaust all options before making a decision as to what's best. The other funny thing is the Abbott and Costello Q&A scene which unfolded in the car. It was a "Who's on First? What's on Second?" kind of moment. Thinking back on it, it really was kinda funny. Lastly, I want to point out that both moms are long time homeschoolers with multiple college degrees between them. Who could tell?! Oh, and by the way, even the young man could see the humor in the catastrophe, but only AFTER the fact. Reasons for this are obvious. And, it's just a guess, but the next time he might want a couple of men to drive him to the hospital. Now, that could be funny!

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