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Jeremy and I found out we were pregnant in July 2001. We were very excited and began tp plan for our baby. I went to the doctor right away because i have juvenile diabetes and wanted to do everything i could to make sure that our baby was okay. My OB told us that I should monitor my blood sugars closely, eat a healthy diet and see him every other week. He also had an ultra sound done. That was the first time we got to see our precious baby. He was only the size of a grain of rice, but we already loved him so much. At four months we found out we were having a boy! Again we were really excited. I was told then about the triple test. I agreed to have it done because Jeremy and I thought it would be wise to have every test available done. After 2 elevated tests I was tild i needed to have a level 2 ultrasound. A perinatologist spoke with us after the pictures were taken. He said there seemed to be no neural tube defects and that the triple test has a lot of false results. He then said that they werent getting good pictures of the heart. He couldnt tell if it was their equipment or if there was a heart problem. He referred me to a pediatric cardiologist to have a fetal echocardiogram done. I felt better about everything because i never thought tere was a problem with the heart. I had heard a steady heartbeat loud and clear so many times before! I went to the echo appointment by mysself and found out Jordan had a heart defect. He had Ebstein's anomaly, a rare heart defect that no one really knows that much about. The only thing they have really ever linked it to is a drug that i have never even heard of. They said it was a fluke...it just happened. She explained that the tricuspid valve wasnt formed right and that fluid was leaking back up into the right atrium, causing it to be enlarged. She said that his only chande to survive would be if I carried him full term. Then she said that the chances of that were slim to none. She said that Jordan could develop Hydrops, which is fluid, throughout his body. Once this starts to happen it means that his heart is failing and it will stop. She told me I needed to be seen by specialists at the heart center at U of M and maybe they could give me more hope. I walked to the parking lot numb. How could this happen? What had i done wrong? How was i going to tell all of this to Jeremy? My whole world started to crash in front of me. My poor sweet baby boy...was he in pain? He had been moving so actively and seemed to be healthy...but he wasnt. My baby was sick and there wasnt a thing I could do for him. I felt so hopeless. After crying for days and letting everyone else be strong for meI decided I wasn't being a very good mommy.
I took my LOA at work and spent time with Jordan. I was sick through my whole pregnancy so the LOA was long overdue. I wanted so bad to carry Jordan full term but I think I always knew that wasn't possible. Don't get me wrong, I hoped and prayed every day. I knew that Jordan was sick, but i also knew that i would do anything for my child! Jeremy and I went UofM Children's Hospital and they confirmed what I had already been told. The Doctor talked to us for awhile. He told us that I would need to see a high risk OB there at U of M and have ultrasounds every 1-2 weeks. But I could see my reg OB in Lansing on alternating appointments. He told us that they needed to do the ultrasounds so often to make sure there were no hydrops. Jeremy asked him if it was neccesary to have the ultrasounds so often.....if they would do anything if they found them. He told us that as soon as they found the Hydrops they would get Jordan out and begin to try treatments or surgery to try to correct the defect. So we agreed to have them done.He said that there are successful surgeries that would need to be done but the longer i carried him inside me the better his chance of survival. He said that Jordan would be a sick baby but some children with this anomalys live a normal, fairly healthy life. We left still feeling so very helpless. He made appointments for me to see the cardiologists again and the high risk OB and the perinatologist. I made an appointment with my reg OB a week and a half later. When I went to the OB a week and a half later for the ultrasound, again I went alone. After looking at the pics for about 3 minutes the tech looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me the hydrops were there and it was pretty bad. We could barely even get Jordan to move then. The tech spoke to my oB and he told her to run some sort of test to see how much the baby moved or reacted over a 30 minute time period. Jordan just slept the whole time and sucked on his hand. I watched him for the whole 30 minutes, not taking my eyes awy. He looked so precious.I could see right there through the ultrasound that Jordan had my lips! The shape was identical. And chubby little cheeks! I know that sounds silly that a 2.7 pound baby still in the womb had chubby cheeks but if you look at his pics he really did have chubby little cheeks! |
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