Year two and three;
when things began to go wrong and all the tests Sébastien had to endure:

    When Sébastien was about 15 months old, he had a massive case of food poisoning that landed him in the hospital. He was very big and very strong for his age and it took three nurses one full hour in order to get an I.V. installed. The fact that he was still overweight did not help, as it made it harder to find a vein to install the I.V. in. He struggled a lot and was quite traumatized by the whole experience. It was following that that he started being more fussy about the foods he would eat. Then at 19 months, a week prior to my second child's birth, Sébastien got his hands on a coffee spoon, put the handle in his mouth and started running so I wouldn't take it away from him. I was 9 months pregnant and not very fast on my feet, so before I could catch him, he fell and perforated the back of his throat, right by his tonsils. So off to the hospital we went again and more poking and trauma insued. After these events, Sébastien's fussiness increased until ultimately and to this day, ALL his main courses consist of either fish sticks or chicken fingers with oven baked fries or nugget type potatoes and grilled cheese snadwiches. This selectiveness about food is one thing that has been leading health professionals to consider autism or PDD (Pervasive developmental disorder), since it is a common trait among those children.

    The next event that had an undeniable effect on our son was the birth of his sister. He did not take this well! But then, one would expect that kind of reaction from any first born child. However it is around that time that we really started to worry about the absence of language since it was now coupled with the nutrition problem. It is also about that time that Sébastien started having frequent ear infections. They got so bad that at one point he started banging his head VIOLENTLY against the floor and would have huge bruises to show for it. (This head banging was another red flag for autism and PDD diagnosis) After fighting with my son's pediatrician to get him referred to the Ear Nose and Throat specialist, we finally got to meet Dr. Dionne. 

    She is the first person who acknowledged that there was a problem and that it was not normal for a two year old to have no recognizable speech. He wasn't silent, not by any means! But nothing that came out of his mouth sounded like words, it was always just babbling and vocalisation. Up until then the pediatrician just kept dismissing it as a lack of social stimulation; "Put him in daycare!" he had told me several times. I knew better. I just had a feeling that it wasn't that simple.

    Of course the ENT specialist's first theory was deafness (caused by recurring ear infections). She scheduled my son to have surgery to insert tubes in his ears to prevent further ear infections and referred him to a new pediatrician: Dr. Fortin: our family's guardian angel! At the end of the first appointment with her, my son was on his way to a few different specialists! That was the beginning of the roller coaster ride that would ultimately lead us to the answer!

    Over the course of the next months Sébastien was tested for deafness, epilepsy, brain damage, mental illness and various obscure diseases which may cause his symptoms. Blood tests, urine analyses, evoked potential (a hearing test done under anesthesia), three EEG's, conventional hearing tests, an MRI, IQ tests, psychological and psychiatric evaluations... lions and tigers and bears oh my! He was seen by a Pediatric Ear Nose and Throat specialist, a couple of neurologists, a child psychiatrist, a child psychologist, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist and others whom I can't recall. The end result? NOTHING BUT SPECULATION! But here are the details of the testing, evaluating, probing and poking of my baby boy:

    Blood and urine tests:
    There was a slim chance that Sébastien presented these developmental disorders because of an illness. I was never told just what illnesses were suspected, but we did spend one fun filled morning (insert sarcasm here) at the hospital holding down our son as two nurses tried to suck every last drop of blood out of him and make it all fit into fourteen little vials. And then they stuck a bag over his whole genital area and tried to cajole him into providing them with urine... Eeeegad!!! If whoever is reading this is male, just imagine how YOU would feel in his place! He was just 2 and a half at the time!

    All we got for our trouble was a huge bunch of negative results (which positively mean that our son had none of these diseases and or hormonal and protein deficiencies! Yay!) and a really, really frustrated child. At that age it was very hard to calm Sébastien down once he was angry and it could take days to get him back to a cheerful disposition. He was also given to bouts of violent and aggressive behavior following these intrusive procedures; he would beat his sister or bang his head on the floor or hit and kick us. We dreaded every new appointment and our hearts broke after each one...

    EEG's and evoked potential:
    Because the pediatrician suspected the possibility of epilepsy, she asked that an EEG be done (Electroencephalogram). This test measures and maps the electrical activity of the human brain. To be able to test for epilepsy, the patient must be asleep during the procedure. On the first try, they tried to perform the test without any sedative. Sébastien writhed and agonized as he was mummified into a couple of blankets while the technician stuck 20 or more electrodes to his small head using some sort of alcohol based glue that she solidified using an tubule that shot out COLD air. After that 30 minutes of torture, my son was expected to peacefully drift off to sleep! Well needless to say he did no such thing! He did remain calm but did not sleep.

    On the second try, they were to perform the EEG and an evoked potential: this is a test that allows the doctors to measure the brain's reactions to sound thus enabling them to detect even the slightest deafness in patients who cannot or will not cooperate to a standard hearing test. To run these tests they administered Chloral Hydrate. This is laughing gas, I think... So they gave Sébastien his drug and waited for him to fall asleep... after an hour, he looked and acted like he had drunk a whole bottle of tequila but refused to sleep. A second dose of the drug was administered. He fell asleep. The EP was done. There was NO detectable deafness. His hearing was basically perfect! Then there were delays in informing neurology that my boy was ready for his EEG. So when he got there, they managed to stick on the electrodes and then HE WOKE UP! So they didn't do the EEG. After that we spent a good ten days trying to get him back to be his usual self. So I asked the pediatrician to either give up on that test or have it done under complete anesthesia...

    Third time's the charm they say... The pediatrician referred us to a neurologist. We went to meet him and after discussing Sébastien's case he ordered an EEG under complete anesthesia and an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging scan); a brain scan! They put my tiny boy under, did their EEG, and found NO evidence of epilepsy! Then there was the MRI...

    MRI:
    The neurologist thought that there might be brain damage either congenital or because of possible oxygen depravation at birth. For that reason, he ordered an MRI. It was done at the same time as the third EEG and the results were negative: no detectable brain damage. On the first visit, the neurologist had thought we were dealing with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, but on the second appointment (the one following the MRI) he dismissed that possibility because he felt our son was evolving too quickly which was atypical for PDD patients. He wasn't, however, qualified to make a diagnosis. This was just his educated guess.

    I.Q. Tests:
    The first must have been done while my son was being seen at the children's psychiatric facility. I can't be sure because we were kept in the dark about most of what was done by the so called professionals there. As I will explain later, the psychiatric approach at that hospital is apparently Freudian and therefore, I, the mother, a woman, was considered to be hysterical, anxious and to blame for most, if not all of my poor male offspring's problems. So essentially, I was not really told much, except that Sébastien did not suffer from mental retardation.

    The second test was done at our expense by a private sector child development specialist. Because Sébastien has difficulty staying focused if he is not interested, the test could not be done properly. However, the specialist did tell us that she felt that our son was of average or above average intelligence. She suggested that we re-test him again in six to twelve months. 

    At age 3, Sébastien was referred to a rehabilitation/readaptation center for people who suffer from various forms of handicaps. In April of 1999 he was finally seen by the psychologist there. She saw him three times and performed several I.Q. tests. Sébastien was more co-operative this time. Not enough to get an acurate assessment, but enough to get a clearer image of his mental capabilities than had previously been recorded. The psychologist felt that his intelligence is at least average, but possibly above. Regular testing will give us better results.

    Psychological evaluations:
    Three were done. One in private sector at our request and two in public facilities. The first was done at the aforementioned psychiatric hospital. Once again we were told just about nothing. We received no counseling as to how to deal with our child's problems or as to the possible cause of them. We never even met the psychologist. His or her evaluation was done during group sessions along with a few other specialists (speech therapist, behavioral therapist, etc). Five children were in the group, we were never invited to meet the other parents or the doctors or to join in the sessions. I have yet to get my hands on the file... so I can add nothing else here at the present time.

     The second evaluation was done by a neuro-psychologist I have known for several years. He is not specialized in child psychology but I felt he was competent enough to give us an informed opinion. He was quite puzzled by Sébastien. A test was done on his nervous system and the findings were... strange. It seems that whereas most people's emotional responses can be measured in the single digits, our son's responses peak in the 20's and 30's. He can go from 3 to 27 just by hearing my voice or receiving a kiss on the cheek. The conclusion can be drawn here that there is physiological evidence that our son is super sensitive to emotional and physical stimuli. If that is the case, it could perhaps explain his difficulty in dealing with the outside world which is so full of such stimuli. As soon as time and money permits, we will have a second, more accurate test done to confirm or deny these findings.

    Other than that the psychologist found Sébastien to be a happy and alert child who seemed to relate well to us (parents). He felt that the babbling might be structured and even might be a language all his own. At least it seemed that there was a definite effort made by our son to communicate. The key was to find a common ground between him and us to start a productive dialogue!

    The third evaluation was done in April at the Rehab./readapt. center. The psychologist there brought up the fact that Sébastien has very little discipline. We conceded that this was a real problem and that we felt helpless to solve this. No-one had given us any clue as to how to control our son without being able to fully communicate with him. She felt that the first thing that needed to be addressed with Sébastien is this problem. If he can learn to control himself, focus and deal with his anger and frustration, he will be able to obey us and to interact with his peers and communicate. This can probably only be done through group therapy with other children. Such groups are only available at the psychiatric facility that has already been twice mentioned. We are wary of going back there, but at the same time we want to help our son... I suppose I must now explain what happened when we went there...

     Psychiatric evaluation:
     This was a nightmare... In hindsight, I am glad I waited so long to tell this part of the story. Times brings perspective. Our pediatrician feared that our son suffered either from mild autism or from pervasive developmental disorder. In either of those cases, a psychiatrist needed to be consulted. So we were sent to meet with a psychiatrist who shall remain nameless.

    Our first contact with the facility was through a nurse, she seemed nice over the phone; helpful and amicable. We went to our first appointment, with one overwhelming feeling and desire: We wanted to help our son. We told the psychiatrist this fact, we told him that we were ready to do anything to help our child. That was most likely a mistake.

    I won't go into detail, but here is what happened over the following months. The appointments were always conducted in the psych's office. This office was set up like any normal doctor's office. There were a ton of objects that our child was not allowed to touch and there were no toys or anything for him to do except a small table and 6 color pencils; finding paper for him to doodle on always seemed problematic. For each appointment, the nurse would be present and she never said anything but repeat what the psych was saying. (She just used different words.) The appointments would last on average one hour and fifteen minutes. During that time, my son would eventually get antsy and have to be disciplined. (He tried to touch the phone, play with the light switch, doodle on the floor, take the books from the shelves...)

    We went to approximately 10 appointments. The psychiatrist interacted with my son for about 30 minutes over the course of all of those appointments. I'm not saying 30 minutes per appointment. I'm saying 30 minutes over the entire time we went to see him. The appointments all went the same way: The psychiatrist and the nurse bombarded ME with questions. They were always questions about my personal life and always vague and confusing. They rarely spoke to my husband who just sat there dumbfounded at what he would witness.

    See, because the questions were personal and because I trusted them to be trying to help my son, I thought they were homing in on ME as the cause of my son's problems. I felt guilty going in. They played on that guilt.

     I once told them: "If I am the problem, please tell me and please help me!" 

    They answered: "Even if you were the problem, we would not tell you.". I felt lost.

    Every time I asked for advice or for help in dealing with my son's difficulties, I would get nothing. I asked for help on potty training a learning disabled child. I was told: "Potty train him." I felt helpless.

    I told them discipline was a problem. The psychiatrist told me that I needed to reassess my parental role. I asked what he meant. He repeated, slowly as if he was speaking to a simple minded person: "You... need... to reassess... your parental... role." I felt stupid.

    One day, I was crying, I cried at every appointment because I felt so helpless and confused, and the nurse got mad at me. She told me that they were not here to help me and talk about my problems. They were here to help my son. I was very confused. They never tried to interact with my son and furthermore, the only reason we ever talked about me, was because they kept asking me questions. At that point, I wanted to stop going. But I continued because I wanted to help my son.

    I was asked if I had ever considered seeing a psychiatrist for myself. I agreed to let them refer me. No one ever called me.

    Part of the evaluation of my son consisted in him being part of an assessment group. When their evaluation was done, I was not invited to hear the results. In fact, when I asked what the results were, I was not told. The breaking point came when the speech therapist who was assessing my son at their facility, yelled at me on the phone for breaking an appointment. She lectured me on responsibilities. I cancelled all my future appointments and went to a family psychologist that I had known for a long time and trusted.

    He is the one who told me that apparently the approach at this mental hospital was Freudian, hence my being railroaded. Freud seems to pretty much have blamed women, especially mothers for all the ills of the world. He also asked for Sebastien's psychiatric evaluation to be sent to him. When he showed it to me, I was flabbergasted. There was nothing in it. Three short paragraphs. The sum of what was said in that report, was that the child had an anxious mother. There was not even a hypothesis of a diagnosis. We had sat through about 15 hours of torture, spent days and weeks in emotional turmoil and there was nothing to show for it.

    We later found out that the entire evaluation was useless and our son had to be re-evaluated at the rehabilitation center.