Interpretations of Our Experiences
I will risk controversy to find the best available truths. I will never argue with a sister�s experience, her feelings and her recollection of what has happened to her. How could I possibly know or see more than she does, herself? How could I know more about her feelings, or about what she has seen from her unique perspective, through her own eyes? Yet I will, under certain circumstances, argue with her interpretation of her experiences. Where I believe I see patriarchy�s malignant influence in her preferred interpretation, I will intervene. Especially where I see it as part of an early-process portion of the learning curve in an area where I have done a great deal of work, I will provide and encourage the alternative, more woman-valuing, more honest explanations that I see. To do less is to patronize her, and to perpetuate oppression.
There is the danger in that a sister�s voice may contain more and further truths than the educated drone of words existing far out on the learning curve, for the learning, itself, may be tainted with patriarchal thought. This is probably a greater problem in conventional learning systems, in colleges and universities, and in groups with rigid hierarchies and core beliefs, such as mainstream medicine, for these institutions are generally �owned� by patriarchy. There is also risk where a great deal of money is at stake, as in the so-called softer sciences like psychology, for the exchange paradigm, the �money rules� rule here, is patriarchy�s. Ties to a patriarchal institution which also oppresses lead to adherence to patriarchy�s rules which directly oppress. And exchange economics keeps those who would expand an institution toward more woman-friendly views tidily in line.
There is less risk in activist circles without rigid dogma, and with strong peer review keeping all participants well-informed. Those of us with lengthy time in on the learning curve respect novel ideas and new approaches, and these will usually be received with interest rather than argument. Within feminism there is an obligation to honor a sister�s words, to hear her out and to consider her words for their obvious truths as well as more subtle ones. There are, of course, dangers beyond not hearing a sister�s words for the truths they may contain.
Female ways of being and doing, so intentionally level, kind and inclusive, often miss the honor in challenging sisters to think harder and further, to find the best truths available. I don�t mean to say there is only one lone truth, but so often we are asked to accept diversity before the revolution, before we have, as activists, educated one another to understand others� oppression through their eyes and their experiences. It is not kind in the long run to accept patriarchal notions as women�s best �truths.� It is not honorable in the long run to evade direct, though respectful, confrontation to save one sister�s feelings, when in doing so the oppression of other sisters is reinforced and perpetuated.