XIV – Reunion

 

“Buffy!” Dawn raced across the room and Buffy was immediately covered in exuberant teenager. “You’re okay! I was so afraid.”

 

Buffy squeezed back. When she’d left, things with Dawn had been distant, and this felt wonderful – almost like they were sisters again. What a difference a little twisted reality could make. A few mystical monks and a spell had given her a sister only a few years ago, and now another spell had made Dawn belong with someone else. But here she was in the flesh, and it was so good to have a connection of any sort. All of these people, this crazy crew of loyal misfits – they were her home, and she’d take them however they were, altered circumstances or not.

 

“It’s good to be back,” she whispered.

 

Dawn pulled back and looked Buffy over. “Did they hurt you?”

 

“Who?  That bunch of medieval wannabes? As if!”

 

“I wish I could have been there, but we thought Giles needed someone to be here.” Dawn’s happy smile faded as she glanced uncertainly at the closed door that connected the rooms.

 

“What?” Buffy asked.

 

Dawn looked over to Xander, who was helping Willow sit on the bed. “Did you tell her about what we did?”

 

He shook his head. “Not yet. Didn’t seem to be the time.”

 

“Not the time for what?” Buffy said. “What happened?” She allowed Xander to steer her toward the settee and decided she’d probably be better off not using physical force on him. She sat beside him. “Giles had better be okay.”

 

“He’s fine,” Xander assured her. “At least physically.”

 

“Xander!”

 

“We had to put things back to save you. We needed to reverse Willow’s spell so that she’d have the power to work her mojo.”

 

“So you’re telling me things are back to normal? Dawn is my sister again and you’re not Mr. Moneybags anymore?” She grinned. “And Willow’s put the Sally Field act to bed?”

 

“Yeah, we’re all back to plain old, lovable us. But Buff, that’s not all.”

 

Xander seemed to be so serious. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, apparently inspecting for dirt under his fingernails. She hoped the sinking sensation in her stomach was simply hunger.

 

“We lost Anya. Again.”

 

“No.” Buffy should have expected it, but it seemed so wrong.

 

He turned his face toward her, revealing his pain. “It had to be done. None of us wanted to.”

 

“Are you okay?” Buffy reached around him, patting his back as if it could somehow help.

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t… I didn’t want to go there. Not yet. Not again.”

 

She wanted to say something, but didn’t know how. Meaningful conversation had never been her strong suit. “Xander, I know how much it hurts to lose someone, even though they aren’t yours anymore.”

 

“I know you do.” His words sounded like a sigh. “That’s why, when you told me about your dream and about what happened down in the Hellmouth, I understood.”

 

“You mean Spike?”

 

He nodded. “After I lost Anya there, I bottled it up and I didn’t talk about it. Maybe I thought she wouldn’t really be gone if I didn’t mourn her.” He took a deep breath. “And that wasn’t fair to her or to me either.  I still missed her.”  He turned to look at her.  “What we had wasn’t all that great, but the feelings were real. And so were yours. Just because I didn’t like who you had them for didn’t give me the right to…”

 

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, tears falling to her cheeks. “I love you, Xan.” She held him tightly, but loosened her grasp when she heard him gasp for air.

 

“I love you too.”

 

She dried her eyes with her fingertips and stood, smoothing out her shirt and taking stock of the others. Andrew had come in at some point and was fussing over Willow. Dawn was looking uncertainly toward Giles’ door.  “Has he been in there since you guys did the spell?” she asked her.

 

Dawn nibbled at her bottom lip. “Yes. He hasn’t come out and I don’t know what to do. Everything is different now and… Buffy, he had to do it. Giles was the one who performed the spell that made Anya go away.”

 

“I’ve got to go talk to him.” Buffy moved to the door and took a deep breath, then knocked softly. “Giles?”

 

She thought she heard him respond, but the voice was soft and muffled by the door. She turned the knob and glanced inside, locating him by his window. She doubted that he was really looking at anything, since she knew there wasn’t much more on display than a parking lot and some minor landscaping.

 

“You’re safe,” he said quietly, not turning around to look at her.

 

“Yeah. Here I am.  Safe Buffy.”

 

“Good.”

 

“And all the vamps are either dusty or on their way to places that aren’t here.” She shifted uncomfortably when he didn’t respond. “Giles, I…”

 

“Don’t,” he said.  “We did what was necessary and what was right. That is what we do.”

 

“But the price, it was too high.”

 

“No, it wasn’t,” he said, turning to face her.  “Reality can’t be altered for one’s own liking. The consequences… well, you’ve learned that.”

 

“Anya was more to you than an altered reality, and you’re more than just a Watcher, standing around training the rest of us. You were happy.”  Her voice trailed off; tears threatening to spill again. They didn’t need that and it would only make him more uncomfortable.

 

“Yes,” he said. “I was completely happy. For the first time, perhaps.” He moved past her, his hand in his trouser pockets. “It was her idea, you know, that she should go to help set things right. I wanted to explore alternatives, but time was of the essence and she was correct. As usual.”

 

“I… I didn’t know.”

 

“Of course not, how would you?”

 

“I always underestimated her,” Buffy admitted.

 

“I think we all did, except for Anya, of course.”

 

“She did a great thing, Giles. You should be proud.” Buffy swallowed hard. “I know how hard this is.  I know what it is to give up your… To have something and then have it taken away.  You and Anya, it was real, wasn’t it.”

 

Giles lowered his eyes and Buffy fumbled for something to say to show him that she understood; that this time she wanted to be the one who was strong for him, but she came up empty.

 

“I never wanted to be a Watcher,” he said, suddenly.  “I don’t think I ever told you that.  I fought my father about it all through my youth. I wanted my independence and I didn’t want to be saddled with some child, some girl, who would die performing a duty she didn’t ask to be called for.”  He smiled softly. “And then I met you.”  He reached out and softly touched her hair.  “You were not at all what I’d been taught that a Slayer was about.  You were maddening and impulsive and entirely too interested in overpriced clothing and ridiculous shoes.”   He rested his hands on her shoulders.  “I’ve seen you survive things that killed all the Slayers who went before you.”

 

“Giles…”

 

“I was sent to Sunnydale to teach you, but all my knowledge couldn't keep you safe. You’ve lost so much, no, given up so much, but somehow it was worth it for you. Such resilience. And I was so very proud of you Buffy. A father couldn’t be prouder of his own daughter You’ve shown me how to be a better person. Buffy, it is you who has taught me.”

 

He lifted his hands and stepped away, rubbing his neck and looking more tired than she’d ever seen him. But there was still hope in his eyes, and a glimmer of happiness. “There’s something else bothering you, I can tell.”

 

Of course he could. “I, uh, I’m not sure how to ask this, but what about Dawn?”

 

“Dawn?”

 

“This is all sinking in, what these changes mean, and I think she’s lost something here too.” Buffy searched his expression for a clue to his feelings. “She had a father for the first time, and she and Anya were getting along so well. Now she has me. Again. Just me.”

 

The lines on his face softened. “Not just you. I’ll not forget these past few weeks, and the life that I might have had, had things been different. But nothing is perfect, Buffy, and to pretend it is, that is the illusion. Sometimes reality is hard, but my true reality includes you and Dawn, whom I couldn’t possibly care for any more than I already do. Willow and Xander too, and,” he sighed, “and even Andrew. Bloody hell, I’ve just realized that since he’s no longer independently wealthy he’s going to be tagging around after me asking for more Watcher training.”

 

“Is he that bad?” Buffy asked.

 

“The lad insists on addressing anyone from Great Britain as ‘Sir’ or ‘Lady’, and he continually has Fruit Gushers stuck between his teeth.”

 

“Sounds like it’s gonna take a lot of work.” Trust Giles to take a tragic situation and find possibilities.

 

“Yes, and with the Watcher’s Council decimated we need all the help we can get.”

 

“Hey,” Buffy remembered, “Andrew did okay when we sent him to LA to get Dana.”

 

“It took an army of Slayers to ensure he didn’t fail.”

 

“And he didn’t. See there? Next time it might only take a platoon or maybe even a troop.”

 

Buffy heard a muffled voice through the door. “Troops are cool. I could work with a troop.”

 

“He’s listening,” Buffy said.

 

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less.”

 

“So, what say we go show him what a real Watcher is made of. I think Anya would approve, even with Andrew in the equation.”

 

She watched him carefully as he considered the option. Finally his eyes took on that glint of a smile that showed he would humor her. She smiled back and then walked to the door, waiting for him to open it for her.

 

She wasn’t alone. None of them were.

 

*****