Respite

 

The slayer silently made her way out of the noisy house to the sanctuary of her back porch. The dark sky attested to the clouds that were overhead, but unseen. No stars, no moon. The night was soothingly quiet after the din of her home. Her lips twitched minutely and she spared a second to be thankful that there would be no more visits from Turok-Han.

 

Now her forehead creased into a frown. How long would it be until the First Evil selected another champion to kill the girls whose lives she protected. What would it throw at them next? It had been a week since she had defeated the pure vampire. Her wounds had healed. The girls were no longer doubting her ability to protect them. No, that fear was hers alone. And she couldn't show it; she couldn't crack. It was hard.

 

"Buffy."

 

She felt a small chill scurry up her back at the sound of his voice. Her breath caught in her throat.

 

"The noise getting to you too, Spike?" She tried to keep her tone light, covering her inner turmoil.

 

"More the lack of noise. Yours." He stepped up behind her, close but not touching her. "Pressure getting to you Slayer?"

 

She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. "I don't know why I even try to fool you. I never could." She turned back to star into the night. "You know better than anyone what we're up against. I don't... I don't know that I'll be able to deal with what comes next. What if it's worse? Older, stronger? How long can I hold out. Everything is so big..."

 

"Shh." He reached out tentatively to touch her shoulder. She didn't pull away. "You'll take it as it comes, like you always do." He gave her arm a slight squeeze. "And you're not alone."

 

"I know." She whispered. "But I'm in charge, and that's..."

 

"That's exactly the way you want it."

 

Buffy laughed softly at that. "You're right. I wouldn't have it any other way."

 

"There's my bossy Slayer."

 

She turned to him, a huge grin lighting her face. "Hey, I'm not boss..." Her voice trailed off as she realized he was standing closer than she thought. Her body brushed his and their faces were only a breath apart. She stepped back.

 

He stepped back too. "I'm sorry."

 

She turned back to face the night. "No. Don't be sorry. I just..."

 

"I'll go back inside."

 

"Please. No. I want you to stay."

 

Spike moved from foot to foot uncertainly. He wasn't sure what to say or do. He put his hands into his jeans pockets and stood silently behind her for a few long moments. "Buffy..."

 

"Will you please..." She swallowed hard, but still did not turn to look at him. "Will you touch me again, like you did before?"

 

He moved behind her, pulling his hands out of his pockets and laying his right hand on her shoulder again. She sighed and closed her eyes and stepped back, leaning against his chest.

 

Her voice was soft. "Did you know that the only time I don't feel alone is when I'm with you?"

 

"Slayer..."

 

"You don't have to talk. Just stand here with me, and hold me, and help me to feel like this might all turn out all right. Even if it's just for a minute. I just need to feel some hope."

 

He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her securely against him. He put his face into her hair and inhaled the mixture of scents that was uniquely Buffy. She relaxed and put her hands over his and closed her eyes and allowed herself a smile of contentment. The world could wait for its warrior for this one evening. Inside the house sounds of teenagers rang out over the exasperated shouts of Giles and Xander. Outside there was peace and strength and healing.

 

For just a few brief happy moments all was well.