A Special Kind Of Hell

 

The outdoor cafe was bustling. It was teatime and people were enjoying some afternoon refreshment. The waiter stopped by a table at one end of the deck and sat a cup of tea and a scone in front of a curvy brunette. Sneering, he placed a large iced Dr. Pepper in front of the blonde. Americans!

 

"Anya." Halfrek leaned across the table to address her companion. "I brought you here to England to have fun, and so far all you have done is sulk about that man."

 

"I know Hallie." Anya fingered her straw and took a halfhearted sip of her soft drink. "I'm trying not to think about him, but I really do miss him. Did I mention that he was my very best friend? I thought if we got married we could be best friends forever and make love and eventually make some babies. I really wanted to make babies with him someday." At that, Anya began to cry again.

 

Anya had been crying pretty much since Xander had left her at their wedding, and Halfrek had heard enough of it. She reached across to grasp Anya by the hand and she spoke to her sternly and directly. "No more weeping Anyanka. It isn't solving anything and he isn't worth your tears. If he had any character at all he would have stood beside you and told your friends and his family that he didn't want to go through with the marriage. Do you think it was right that he left you by yourself to clean up his mess?"

 

"No." Anya sniffed, swallowed and dried her eyes. "You're right. He isn't worth my time and tears," she paused, "except that I still love him, and I miss him so much."

 

Halfrek leaned back again to consider her old colleague thoughtfully. "You know Anyanka, we have the whole world for us to play in. Look around at all these people. If you were still a vengeance demon you could sense the pain and suffering all around you. Once upon a time you had the power to do something about that suffering, but now you are consumed with your own misery. What good does that do for mankind or you for that matter? I thought that if you came with me to England, where we had such great times together wreaking vengeance on the deserving, you might want to join me again. I've missed you. None of the others have your sense of fun nor your flair for interesting clothing combinations."

 

"We did have some great times, didn't we Hallie? Remember when we had that contest to see who could destroy the most lives in one week? I beat you by three."

 

Halfrek smiled at the memory. "Oh yes, but you had an unfair advantage. There was a power blackout that week and all those people were stuck in elevators together. So many extramarital flings that night! How could I compete with that?"

 

Anya smiled conspiratorially. "Halfrek, I never told you this, but I caused the blackout."

 

"No!"

 

"Yes! It was the wish of a housewife with five children who could never keep her husband home. She wanted him to be fired, so I made a little problem at his electric company that he was blamed for."

 

Both women broke out in happy laughter. "You see Anyanka? We could have fun like this again. All you have to do is come with me to see D'Hoffryn."

 

Anya took a deep breath. "You know Hallie, maybe I should..."

 

"Anya? Is that you?"

 

She turned, startled to hear the familiar male voice.

 

"Giles? Hello."

 

"Well, I must say I am surprised to see you here in England. And you have a friend."

 

"Oh yes! Giles, this is Halfrek. She is..."

 

"A vengeance demon." Giles was disapproving. "I've heard of your... friend. Wasn't she responsible for Buffy's extended birthday party?"

 

"As a matter of fact I was." Halfrek interrupted. "I was simply doing my job and granting a wish for that enchanting child whom everyone was ignoring." She fixed Giles with a withering glare. "I understand that you were a part of her feelings of abandonment."

 

"If Dawn was feeling... what I mean to say is sometimes we have to make decisions that... that is..." Giles tried to stammer out an explanation.

 

"Hallie," Anya intervened, "Giles has always been very supportive of both Buffy and Dawn. He is not her missing father, after all."

 

Halfrek sneered and turned her face away, dismissing Giles. "I suppose not. Well, I need to be going now. I have a pressing engagement." She waved her arms elaborately and disappeared. Curiously, no one at the cafe seemed to notice.

 

Giles turned his attention back to Anya and sat in Halfrek's now empty seat. "Why are you here Anya?"

 

"Hallie suggested we come here. We used to have some enjoyable excursions in Europe and she thought a trip might be the thing to cheer me up. I've been experiencing feelings of depression and hopelessness." She smiled and nodded, happy to communicate her inner pain.

 

"That's perfectly understandable under the circumstances, but do you think spending time with a vengeance demon is in your best interest right now?"

 

"Oh Giles," Anya's tears threatened to spill over again, "How do I know what's in my best interest right now? I just couldn't stay there anymore while Buffy and Willow and everybody else rubbed my nose in it."

 

"I sincerely doubt that they would do that to you. When last I spoke with Buffy they were all most concerned with you. They mentioned that the shop was closed and you had disappeared without a trace. There was even some speculation that you might have returned to your, er, origins."

 

Anya just looked at him guiltily.

 

"So, I see you've given it some thought."

 

She nodded, still quiet.

 

"I would like to discuss this further with you this evening. Are you free?"

 

"Yes. What did you have in mind?"

 

"I'm having dinner at my flat tonight. A friend of mine will be there as well. I think it would be beneficial for you to have somebody to talk to who isn't so... so... well, demonic."

 

While Anya considered this, Giles wrote down directions to his flat and his phone number and handed them to her. "Please come. We will eat at eight. You are welcome to come earlier if you'd like."

 

"Thank you Giles, and please, don't tell anybody in Sunnydale that you've seen me."

 

Giles smiled warmly. "I won't. I'll see you tonight."

 

*****

 

Anya nervously shifted her weight back and forth from foot to foot and looked at the door and doorbell in front of her. She moved the gift she was holding from her right and to her left and reached tentatively for the small round button. It was no bigger than a dime, really. She pulled her hand back to her side before making contact, then frowned at the bell, almost willing it to ring itself. Drat. This would never do. She straightened her back and took a step in retreat from the imposing barrier, then turned to survey the street in front of the dwelling. There were few cars that had passed, and no neighbors. Not a soul was nearby to witness her ridiculous fit of jitters. "This is just Giles!" she told herself. It was just silly for her to be acting so irrationally.

 

She sighed, then resolutely turned back to the door, drew up her shoulders, repositioned the small present she had so that the bow she had tied around it faced forward, and determinedly readied her arm to reach out and complete the task at hand. Her index finger extended from her fist and slowly, but inexorably reached toward that dreaded white circle. She firmed her chin and poked it firmly. Inside the house she heard a buzz. She stood patiently and waited. Should she smile? She really wasn't used to formal social visits. How bad could it be? She looked at her watch. 7:16. He had told her to come early, so why wasn't he answering? She had already waited twelve seconds. "Giles, I know you're getting old, but are you already getting hard of hearing?" she muttered, before plastering her dazzling smile back in place and pushing the doorbell once again. This time she wanted to make sure he heard it. She held it in for a count of ten. She liked ten. It was one of her favorite numbers, and she liked numbers. As she stood straight again, beaming her radiance, the door opened revealing a rather exotic looking woman who was definitely not Giles.

 

"May I help you?" a velvety female voice inquired.

 

"Hello." Anya greeted her. "I'm here to have dinner with Rupert Giles, and you're not him. I rang the bell but he is ignoring me, which I find irritating." Anya paused, smiled and nodded.

 

The woman extended her hand. "You're Anya," she stated.

 

"Yes. I'm Anya."

 

"Please come in. I'm Olivia."

 

Anya entered the front all and glanced quickly around. It was an older flat, but well maintained with a lot of gleaming woodwork and antique furniture.

 

The two women studied each other for a moment. Finally, Anya realized the woman was familiar. "I've met you before. You were Giles' orgasm friend."

 

"Pardon me?"

 

"His friend who came to visit him so he could have sex without Spike. I mean, he sent Spike to my boyfriend's house so we couldn't have sex, but he could. With you." Anya favored her with another bright smile.

 

"Anya." Giles entered from what Anya assumed was the kitchen. "I see you've met my housemate Olivia. It was very kind of you to test our doorbell. I'm heartened to know it is in fine working condition."

 

"Giles, you refused to answer the door."

 

"I can't imagine why." He responded dryly. He motioned to the settee. "Why don't you and Olivia have a seat? You can become better acquainted while I finish getting dinner on the table." He turned to Olivia, "Please yell if you need me for... anything."

 

“Oh Giles.” she stopped him, “Here. I brought you a present. I’ve learned that it is customary to bring a gift when invited to an engagement as a way of showing appreciation.  Here’s yours.”

 

Giles reached over to take the beribboned jar from Anya. “Instant coffee? Well, that’s very… thoughtful of you Anya. Thank you.”

 

“It’s Taster’s Choice.”

 

“I see that.”

 

“I thought you might be out…”

 

Olivia stepped over to place a light hand on Anya’s arm. "Of course Rupert is thrilled with your gift Anya. It was lovely of you to consider him. Why don’t we have a seat for a few moments?  We'll be fine, Rupert. Go finish dinner."

 

Anya found a place on the paisley settee and Olivia sat beside her, "Now why don't you fill me in on why you've come to England."

 

"I’m sure you heard that I was getting married to Xander. You met him also. His eyes are rather beady, and his hair never lays quite right, but I loved him."

 

"Yes." Olivia commented. "Rupert mentioned that the wedding didn't go off as planned."

 

Anya paused and swallowed, then continued. "After Xander left, and all the guests left, my old boss offered to reinstate me as a vengeance demon."

 

"Excuse me. Did you just say..."

 

"Vengeance demon, yes. I was a demon for over a thousand years. I punished men. I lost my job after Giles destroyed my pendant."

 

"Giles...?"

 

"Oh, not your Giles, the alternate reality Giles. He was very much like your Giles though. Anyway, after the wedding disaster D'Hoffryn offered to make me a demon again. I told him that I needed some time to think it over. I've had several major life disturbances in the last few years, and I felt that I didn't need to rush into anything just yet. Then my friend Halfrek suggested we get away from Sunnydale. She's trying to convince me to join the ranks again."

 

Olivia looked concerned. "Are you seriously considering this?" Anya just looked lost. "I have to admit that I am rather tempted. You see I am feeling a large degree of emotional distress and would like to revisit some of this pain back on to Xander and his friends. Especially Willow. She has never liked me and she once tried to steal him from his old girlfriend with her lips."

 

"Do you think that Xander didn't marry you because of feelings for Willow?"

 

"Oh no! Willow much prefers to kiss women now, but not me. No, she's kept her lips away from my Xander for the last few years. She's a lesbian."

 

"I got that." Olivia looked amused, then decided to get back on topic. "Tell me more about why you want to hurt Xander."

 

"Hurt him? I wouldn't want to hurt him... I just want to bring him pain. Like mine."

 

"Wouldn't that hurt him?"

 

Anya's smile left her face, her shoulders slumped, and all the energy seemed to drain from her. "I'm so confused. I don't know what I want. I know that I just don't want to feel like this any more, but nothing makes the pain stop. I cry for hours, but it still hurts. Then I try to smile. My smile is still quite lovely, but the pain remains inside me. It doesn't seem fair that I should be hurting like this when it is all Xander's fault. What am I going to do?"

 

Olivia took Anya's hand in her own and spoke to her from her heart. "The first thing you need to do is talk this out with Xander and find out why he did this and what he is thinking. Next you have to go on and deal with the pain. Nobody lives this life without pain. You have to accept it and learn from it and grow. Vengeance is not growth. It's quite the opposite, in fact."

 

Anya smiled gratefully at her new friend. "Thank you." she told her "Giles is very fortunate to have someone so loving and understanding. He could learn a lot from you."

 

Olivia smiled back. "You're welcome. Speaking of Rupert, he has certainly been in the kitchen for an eternity. I think I'll go check on him."

 

She rose from the small couch and walked to the back of the flat. Anya took the opportunity to look around the room she was in. It was just a small sitting room. There was a small bookshelf against one wall and some lovely wall sconces. Anya recognized some of the figurines that used to decorate the Magic Box. She was gratified to see that Giles was keeping them in top condition. The resale value on them would be excellent. She glanced at the doorway as Olivia entered the room.

 

"Something's wrong." Olivia looked shaken.

 

"What is it?"

 

"It's Giles. He's gone. I've just looked all through the flat. I... I don't know what's happened, but I can't find him."

 

"I'm going to look around. Do you mind?" Without waiting for an answer she wandered up the stairs. From the upper floor, she could see most of the downstairs, including Olivia, sitting on a couch. The flat was filled with knee-high wainscoting, a dark brown wood. Most of the walls were a very light khaki and sand. Flowers spilled off of tables set in the corners.  The stairs led out onto a passageway that was lined with paintings and sketches, children, parks and seascapes mixed incongruously with ill-formed and malicious creatures from a fever-dream. There was a large bedroom, with plenty of room for two.

 

The next room was obviously Giles’ study. Walls were covered with fading musty books. A few more were topsy-turvy on the small but sturdy desk. A watercolor was framed on the opposite wall, in one of the few clear spots. Anya looked at it closely. It pictured Giles, in his casual best, sitting on a stool in a coffeehouse. Tables filled with rapt listeners filled the foreground. The stage was bare with a rather industrial-looking background.

 

The passageway ended in Olivia's studio. Here several canvases were attached to easels. One, a work in progress, showed an old-style baby carriage, leather and steel, crumpled and tilted, in a small dark stone building. The artist had imbued the scene with a ruefulness, a mourning, that affected even Anya. A notepad covered with charcoal was flung on a table, along with neatly sorted tubes of acrylics and oils, brushes and palette knives. Olivia's style tended toward chiaroscuro, intricate blendings of light and darkness. But there was no Giles.

 

She came back to the sitting room. "He’s not anywhere obvious, that’s for sure. I guess we have to search the dark, dusty corners -- that’s what Buffy always does. Do you have any sewers under here?”

 

"Giles is not in a dark corner! And there’s no way he’d be in a sewer, not when we have a, a guest."

 

The front door opened and in walked Giles. He noticed the two women glowering and asked what was going on.

 

His lady-friend spoke first, her cheeks burgundy with embarrassment. "We didn't know where you were, and I suppose recent events," she inclined her head slightly towards Anya, "have made me a little jumpy. Um, what happened, dear?"

 

It was Giles' turn to be embarrassed. "I went out the back door to pick some sage, " he indicated the small spice garden in the back yard, "and, um, well, locked myself out. I had to clamber over the wall to get back to the front door." He dusted the knees of his trousers. "Well, dinner should be ready shortly. Shall we gather in the dining room?"

 

*****

 

"That was delicious, Giles."  Anya beamed at him.  "Could we have some more sage, please, tomorrow?"  Anxious to keep Anya from her former cohorts, Giles readily agreed.  "I can be here at 10am!" she promised.

 

"That's fine, but why don't you come at noon, instead?"  Giles caught the grateful smile from Olivia.

 

*****

 

The next day was rainy and splotchy. Anya paid off the cab, thanking the heavens that American taxis were prettier than these boxy black behemoths. She checked her watch, and when the all the hands lined up at 12, she rang the bell. Punctuality was a virtue, in business and in manners, and it was good of Giles to make it such a curiously interesting time.

 

Olivia welcomed her in. "Noon already? I had no idea it was that late." She motioned the girl to the couch. "Rupert's gone again, and this time I searched all over. He's been missing for hours... Did he call you?"

 

"No, but maybe he was eaten by a giant bunny! I've heard you have herds of them over here and they're dangerous and evil!"

 

"That is absurd -- I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. Maybe he stepped out -- I’m going to make some calls."

 

Anya continued to poke about the flat, more for something to do than in serious expectation of finding Giles, while Olivia busied herself with the phone.

 

"Mrs. D’arcy? Giles isn’t there by any chance? He’d been talking about seeing your collection of... Yes, well, thanks anyway."

 

"Hall of costumes? Oh, hello Mr. Brown. Have you seen Rupert? I thought he might have popped over... No, no emergency, thank you anyway."

 

"Mr. Noor? I’m looking for Mr. Giles -- thank you... a new urn? 5th Century -- yes, he will want to know -- I’ll tell him directly when I see him."

 

It was now wearing on towards evening. The two women ate dinner in cold silence, and then Olivia resumed the calls.

 

"Maybe he went to London -- he does that sometimes... Could you connect me with Reading Room, please? Oh, good evening. Has Rupert Giles been in today? Hmmm? Tallish, maybe 6 foot 1, nice teeth, what... yes, that's him... he hasn't? Thanks anyway."

 

"Hello, is Professor Whitaker in -- I think he's Germanic Antiquities? Good evening, Professor. Giles mentioned that he wanted to show something to you -- has he come down? No, I'm afraid that if he did tell me, it went in one ear and out the other. He hasn't? Thank you for your time."

 

The ex-demon was making Olivia nervous.  Each call struck at her normally calm demeanor. "We’ll just have to wait. Why don't you go back to your hotel, and if he doesn’t show up tonight," she gave a slight sigh, "in the morning, we can try some more places."

 

"No!" Anya was firm. "Normal people, or even people like Giles, don’t just disappear, unless something, something very bad," Olivia’s eyes teared up, so Anya amended, "or very good, but very, um, special has happened. We need to call in the experts. Can I use the phone." It wasn’t a request.

 

"Tara! Oh, I'm so glad you're home! But of course you're home -- where would you be?"

 

"I don't..."

 

Anya was oblivious to any offense she might have caused.  "But that's not important. Giles is gone! It seems awfully selfish of him, getting himself missing, when he should be helping me. I know it's black magic, but who would do such a thing? Did you know Olivia was living here? She seems nice, but she's very upsetting. She seems to think I should solve my own problems. Poof! Just like that. I hope I didn't just make another bunny! Oh, Tara, you have to help me, you have to."

 

"I can't do it on my own, um, I've got to get the, get the, get Buffy and oh, Anya, you know they'll all want to come, they'll all need to come. Giles is, he's, well, he's Giles."

 

*****

 

Tara hung up the phone and took a deep breath and a moment to collect her thoughts. It sounded like Giles might be in real trouble, but whom should she call first? Really, there was no question.  She picked up her phone to dial, then paused.  It would be better if she delivered this message in person.

 

*****

 

Buffy was on her way down the staircase with a basket full of dirty clothes when she heard the doorbell and opened her door to find Tara standing on her front porch. “Tara!” She smiled, setting the basket aside to embrace her friend with a warm hug. “It’s great to see you. I was so afraid I scared you away for good when I tried to kill you in the basement.  I know I’ve apologized over and over for that, but you’ve been kind of scarce around here ever since… not that I blame you or anything. I mean, what kind of a friend tries to feed you to a demon, insane or not?”

 

“N… no Buffy. It’s all right r… really.” Tara smiled shyly. “I understand w… what you were going through.” She paused for a moment, then continued.  “I’m here because something’s happened to Giles.”

 

“Giles?” Buffy was immediately alarmed. “Tara, you’ve got to tell me what’s happened to him.”

 

“I really don’t know Buffy. I just got a phone call from Anya. Sh…she’s in England and she went to see Giles, but she said he’s gone.”

 

“What does she mean by gone? Knowing Anya she probably dropped in on him out of the blue and he’s on vacation or something.”

 

Tara shook her head emphatically. “No. She had dinner with him and his friend Olivia just last night and he was fine. She went back there for lunch today and nobody has seen him or knows where he is. She sounded pretty upset.”

 

Buffy took a second to ponder this, then firmed up her chin. “I’m calling him. We don’t know what Anya is talking about at this point.”  She marched to her phone and punched in Giles’ number.  Tara heard her questioning someone calmly about when Giles was last seen and where. After a time she asked if Anya were still there, then asked to speak to her.  There were more questions about what had happened the night before.  “We’re coming. No, I don’t know how, but we will be there by tomorrow.  I’ll call you again when we’ve made the arrangements.”  Finally, she hung up.

 

“Tara, we have to get everyone together. I’ll go wake up Willow and Dawn and fill them in. You go to Xander’s.  If Anya’s involved he needs to know.”

 

“Buffy,” Tara interrupted, “what about…?”

 

Buffy stopped for a minute.  “Spike?”

 

Tara nodded.

 

“Let me deal with him later.”

 

*****