"It's time to go now."
That voice. I had heard it before. I opened my eyes, and saw Him: radiant, pulsing, beautiful. He had held me, once-when He led me to my mother, and told me that He had chosen her to teach me what it meant to love. I was frightened then..."But the world looks so scary. And this love...it sounds so painful. I don't want to feel pain." But He had smiled...oh that mysterious smile!...and said, "She will make you understand."
And then He left me there, under her heart. It seemed so long ago. But He was right. Love was so wonderful-radiant, pulsing, beautiful-like Him. But why was He calling me now?
"Come" He said, reaching for my hand. But I shook my head. "I can't leave her. She needs me. She loves me. It will hurt her. It will hurt me." I remembered everything she had told me: the games we would play, the dreams we would share. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her too.
I think He understood how I felt. He had had a mother too.
"Remember what it felt like when you were inside her?" He said, very gently. "You couldn't see her, but you could hear her heart and everything inside it. You knew how much she loved you. You knew how much she wanted you. So even if it was very dark, you always had her light to keep you company."
I nodded vigorously. Yes, yes...that was how it was. I was very happy, growing under her heart. So much love....She had taught me well.
"Well, now you will hear her heart again. But you won't be underneath it...you'll be inside it. You'll keep her company, with every breath and with every thought, and teach her what you learned about love. You will show her that it doesn't matter what you look like, or where you stay-your love will shine into all the corners of her life, no matter how dark it gets." He was right...He was always right. But I was so sad. I didn't want to go. "Can't I stay a little longer?" I begged. "We had so little time...."
"But you have the rest of eternity to love her. Just in different ways, my child, just in different ways." And with the same gentleness that He had placed me in her womb, He led me away into the Light. I looked back at my body, so cold and still. I seemed so small. "How could so much of that love fit into that frail little shell?" I asked.
He smiled. "You are learning again. It cannot fit. Now you will love her with your soul. The soul she helped Me shape-the soul that she has taught to love."
I sighed. "I just wish I could've said goodbye." But He shook His head. "You never will." And with a tiny flick of His hand, He led me into her heart, and slowly walked away.
Oh Mother My Mother
I touch your tears, invisible fingers soothing your skin.
I know you think of me often...in the day, in the night, in your dreams.
Going into the empty nursery, knowing I'll never be there, but I am...I'm in your heart, in your soul
I shall always be there...for you gave so unselfishly of yourself.
Inside of you, you created such a world for me...a world of laughter, of love, of sadness, of sorrow
Every emotion people come to know, you shared with me.
And even though I may never feel your arms around me,
I felt your heart beating, like a lullaby singing me to sleep and your spirit giving me a safe haven
Already protecting me, nurturing me, preparing me of things to come.
But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart and yes, I had to go on to another place.
I wish I could stay, I wish this was my decision I could make and I know you do too.
Know this where you are: I will always remember that yours was the first love, the first joy, the first soul I will ever know.
You gave me the courage to go on in my journey.
I hope I can do the same for you.
Your heartbeat will always call me to you. I love you mommy...
Author unknown
