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Isaac Atkinson
“Stand and Deliver Kind Sir!”
A Highwayman who specialized in
robbing Lawyers.
Hanged at Tyburn in 1640, being
twenty-six years of age.
Isaac was the
only son of a gentleman of a good estate at Faringdon in Berkshire. His
father took care to put him to the most celebrated schools in the country,
where, with the doctrines, he imbibed the vices which are too apt to
prevail in large seminaries. At sixteen years of age he was sent to Brazen
Nose College in Oxford, together with others of his schoolfellows, where he
soon learned to rail at the statutes of the university and lampoon the
rulers, to wear his clothes after the mode, to curse his tutor, and sell
his books. In a word, he forgot in the second year after his admittance
what, for form's sake, he had condescended to learn in the first,
concluding still that he had knowledge enough for himself and his posterity
after him for ever.
Everyone may
imagine the grief which the good old gentleman went through. There were no
hopes, after such a discovery as this, that his son would ever get any
advantage by being at school ; so that, though he would have given half his
estate to make young Isaac what in reality he once took him to be, he
thought it was better to take him
home and
employ him in the management of his rural affairs, than suffer him to spend
such a large income to no purpose. Accordingly he sent to the heads of the
college, and procured his discharge, taking him now into his own care, and
constituting him steward in ordinary. Had there been the least spark
of grace left in young Atkinson, his father's indulgence in not punishing
his neglect at the university
more severely must have had some effect on him, and have made him at least
more duti-ful for the future; but he had hardened himself, before he was
aware, against every tender sentiment, as is frequently the case with young
extravagants ; so that this removal from the academy was but the forerunner
of greater misfortunes to this unhappy youth. In the country he gave
himself up to all manner of sports and diversions, to the entire neglect of
his father's affairs. Nor did he only pursue pastimes in themselves
innocent to excess, but abandoned himself to all manner of lawless
delights. Not a maidservant could live with the old gentleman for the son's
importunities, unless she gave up her honor to his desires. Not a hand-some
wife or daughter in the neighborhood but either submitted to his pleasure
or complained of him to his father. The scandal of these things was
not all ; for the old gentleman perceived (what with bastard children, and
paying for other mischievous actions, besides a continual round of
expenses) he should let his son spend all the substance of the family
before his eyes, unless he found some way to put a stop to these
unwarrantable courses.
The last
resource of an injured, abused father was the only one left for poor old
Atkinson, which was to turn his only son out of doors, and disinherit him.
This, to be sure, was hard work to a parent who hardly knew till lately
what it was to be angry with his child. However, after frequent
unsuccessful remonstrance, rather than be entirely ruined, he put the first
part of this sentence in execution upon him, and threatened him very hardly
with the other; though in his mind he was determined to defer it till he
saw what effect his exile would have upon Isaac's behavior. Now was
our young hero turned into the wide world, with but a very small matter of
money in his pocket, and not a friend to apply to; such was the character
which his extravagances had procured him amongst his relations. These
desperate circumstances determined him, when the little he had was gone, to
get possessed of more by any means whatsoever, whether lawful or unlawful.
Atkinson
came up to London, where the vices of the place soon drained him of all his
money. Now was he so put to his shifts again, that he was obliged to return
into the country, where he committed several petty robberies to support him
till he came to his father's house. He had been long sensible that he must
never expect to re-enter those
once
hospitable doors with his father's consent, at least till he had given
manifest proof of a thorough reformation. To enter the windows
therefore, without asking any leave at all, was now his resolution. In
order to this, he skulked about unobserved till the family was gone to bed,
and then very easily got into the kitchen, as there were no shutters
to oppose
him. He found means here to get possessed of about fifty pounds in silver,
and one hundred and twenty broad-pieces of gold; five of the latter he
wrapped up in a copy of verses, which were ready written in his pocket, and
put them into his father's clasped Bible. The verses were:
Sir, you
your son did often bully,
Because he
never read in Tully;
What parents
teach they ought to practice,
And I
confess your test exact is
'Tis just to
turn it on yourself
Your Bible
stands upon the shelf;
The gold is
yours, if you unclose it;
Else I shall
find the dear deposit
Safe in a
place by all forgotten,
When you,
good man, are dead and rotten."
What a
graceless, hopeless young heir was here! first to rob his father, and
then to banter him in this ludicrous manner. Anyone may imagine what was
the consequence of all this, as soon as the old gentleman discovered the
writing. A lawyer was sent for, and the estate was given, after old
Atkinson's demise, to a near kinsman, who had a
very large
income before, and knew how to make use of it to his own advantage as well
as any man in England.
Shortly
after this the old gentleman died with grief, and Isaac had the
mortification to see another in possession of what he had forfeited by his
extravagances. Besides the money, he took the best horse in his
father's stable to bring him to London. It happened to be Sunday when he
came through Uxbridge, and a whim came into his head that he would put up
his horse and go to church. The parson took for his text these words of the
Apostle Paul: " For ye know that the day of the Lord cometh as a thief
in the night " (i Thes. V. 2). The sermon was full of zealous and
pious exhortations to a timely preparation for the great and terrible day;
so that any man less hardened in impiety than Atkinson was, must have gone
away deeply affected. But he, instead of that, made it his business to dog
the parson home after church was done; and was very well pleased when he
saw him go across the fields alone. About half-a-mile out of town Isaac
stops the reverend priest and demands his money. The good man was
sufficiently surprised, and desired to know his meaning. " I
mean," says Isaac, " to let you know that all thieves do not come
in the night; so the next time you preach, you may tell the people that the
day of the Lord cometh like a thief at noon, which, in my opinion, is a
much better simile. For at night we are apt to expect thieves ; but who the
devil ever feared being robbed at noonday so near a town? " The
parson, notwithstanding his logic, was obliged to concede both this
argument and demand. A good silver watch and about one pound eighteen
shillings were delivered. After which Atkinson carried his reverence as far
as he could out of the path, and there bound him, and left him, while he
got off towards London unsuspected.
Another time
he met with the famous Noy, Attorney-General to King Charles I., on
horseback. As he knew him very well, he was resolved to accost him in his
own language: " Sir," says he, " I have a writ of Capias ad
Computandum against you, which requires an account of all the money in your
pocket." Noy was a merry man naturally, and he was sure it would do
him little service to be sour upon this occasion, so he
pleasantly asked our desperado by what authority he acted. Isaac, upon
this, pulled out a brace of pistols, and told him that those weapons had as
much authority in them as any tipstaff in England, which he should be
convinced of, if he made any delays. The Attorney-General had no more to
say, but very con- tentedly gave him a purse well lined, and then they
parted with mutual compliments.
Atkinson was
in general the greatest plague to the lawyers of any highwayman that ever
was in England. He had the impudence to follow the circuits, and rob all of
that profession that ever came in his way. It is reported that once in less
than eight months he stopped above one hundred and sixty attorneys only in
the county of Norfolk, and took from them upwards of three thousand pounds.
He was so intrepid as frequently to assault three, four or five men
himself, and so successful as always to escape, till the unfortunate action
that brought him to Tyburn. But almost all our celebrated robbers have been
taken in a very silly manner. He met a market-woman upon Turnham
Green, with a bag of halfpence in her lap. He eyed the bag as he passed by
her, and supposing it to be a larger booty than it really was, returned and
bid her deliver. The woman, being of a bold daring spirit, immediately
tossed the bag over a hedge
on the
roadside, and made the best of her way towards Brentford. Atkinson thought
it much better to secure the money than to be revenged on the woman; so
alighting, and hanging his horse's bridle to a stump, he went over the
hedge. It seems his horse had taken a fancy to the poor woman's mare, for
he instantly got loose and ran after her, neighing and snuffing up the
wind. The market-woman looked back, and observed the particulars, which she
related as soon as she came into Brentford. Half-a-score of men immediately
went out after poor Isaac, and it was not long before they found him in a
field, unable to make his escape by reason of a great pair of jack-boots
which he could not get off; nor had he any knife to cut them down. When he saw
himself surrounded he pulled out several pocket-pistols and discharged
them; so that he killed four of the men on the spot, and afterwards
mortally wounded another with a hanger, which he wore by his side. But
there were still enough left to secure him, which at last they did.
Being carried before a magistrate, he was committed to Newgate, where, and
at the Old Bailey, he behaved with intolerable insolence. After
condemnation he continued to scoff at the ordinary, and turn all his
wholesome admonitions into ridicule.
When the day
for his execution was come, he desperately stabbed himself with a
pen-knife; but the wound not proving mortal he was afterwards carried to
Tyburn, and hanged, in the
year 1640, being twenty-six years of age. As he was such a noted highwayman,
and was besides known to be a gentleman and a scholar, it was generally
expected he would at least have left a speech behind him in writing ; but
instead of that, he only stood up at the gallows and said: "
Gentlemen, there's nothing like a merry life, and a short one."
The
Complete Newgate Calendar
London,
Navarre Society Ltd., 1926
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