Molly: How do you eat your crumpets? Cheese, or no cheese?
Sam: no cheese, and lightly toasted thanks.
M: what color do you prefer your socks to be?
S: well, i prefer my rainbow toe socks.....but we cant be that gay all the time now can we?! so normally they are various shades of white and depending how long its been since i washed clothes, gray too!
M: if you were a gopher, would you play golf?
S: uh, i wouldnt play golf even if i was herbert, the magical golfing penguin.
M: describe your room.
S:uh, this will take a wile.....FILLED with all the most random pictures...i have this great music man stuff....pictures of all my friends except for maria, i dont know why though OH WAIT! there is a picture of maria......a poster from a flemish/scottish/polish film and a RENT! poster....other movie posters all these articles about theatre, a sign that says nothin better than a patriotic gopher, a jaws poster, a power puff girls poster and a tee shirt. thats just the walls. on the floor there is a bunch of stuff everywhere. and a box named charlie. dont ask.
M:who's your favorite muppet?
S: i think there is one named chicken clucker....a funny thing happened. one day i was talking to my friend zac about chicken clucker, the alleged muppet. the conversation went as follows=
zac: you are the chicken clucker
sam: i am not the chicken clucker
zac: uh, yes you are.
sam: i'm not the chicken clucker. im the chicken clucker's friend and I'll be cluckin chickens til the chicken cluckin ends.
zac: you are the chicken clucker
sam: mother clucker.
true story too.
M: to be, or not to be?
S: that is the question isnt it? NO the question is
to poop or not to poop
just because i am immature. thats why.
M:canada or bacon bits?
S:uh, blame canada for bacon bits. they are made of lard. have you ever watched bbc? on bbc there is a show called 'two fat ladies'. they are very obsessed with lard.
M: fill in the blank: "watch out for that _______ _______ chipmunk!"
S: watch out for that stoo pid chipmunk!
M: cheese, rubber bands, concrete or beano?
S:cheese to constipate mr grantham....ITS TRUE! DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT HERBERT! rubber bands that my brother has been shooting at me all night TRAVIS! STOOOOOP. concrete never it is dum. SPELLED D-U-M MRS RODGERS beano is just icky. eww fred the bear eats it like pop tarts.
why? (this question does not relate to the others. the question is just: why)
S:why did liza think i was funny today? it that what you are asking? of course!
here is the convo
lizellia: well, laughter is the best medicine
theatre geek21: laughter is available by perscription only use only as directed some side effects are known including stomach cramps, runny eyes, muscle spasms and stool in the blood do not operate heavy machinery while laughing as this may lead to accidental crushings one time a guy ran over his friend with a mulching lawnmower while remembering one of my jokes, maybe I dreamt that, anyway be careful oh and whatever you do don't laugh in church these people are very aware of the humorous nature of what they are saying and even the slightest giggle makes them feel like the whole charade is crumbling this usually drives them to unfortunate acts like bombings and redundant legislation thanks for reading and fyi constant laughter cures cancer.
