011707Apparently, the little bottle of Liquid Paper I keep in my work desk is quite the hot commodity. I just had a woman from another floor come up here to ask if she could have mine. I was about to say, �Sure, take it, it�s yours,� when she opens her mouth and tells me about this supposed shortage of Liquid Paper in the company. I practically snatched it from her hands and cupped it to my body, saying, �Maybe you should get your admin to order some.� I lifted the mood by joking that she could buy it off of me for $5. She honestly pondered the offer for a full five seconds. I may have to start locking my drawers at night. 011307It�s 9 p.m. on a Saturday night. I�m sitting on a foreign couch, typing on a laptop with almost no battery power in a room that contains no outlets with a third prong. I need that third prong. I hear sniffling in the room next to me. Maybe she�s sick, or crying. It�s too hard to tell and I�m not getting up because not only will that wake up her sister, but then they�ll both never fall back asleep. I�m babysitting. I�m making $10 an hour�cash, mind you�to assemble a Barbie dream house, heat up a family-size can of soup and watch an animated movie, among other things. For a few hours on this particular Saturday night, I�m the enforcer of rules left behind by the dad and stepmom. I�m the clean-up crew for the bowl of soup and entire glass of milk that hit the floor. I�m the protector from the dark upstairs, from the whir that generates a chorus of �What was that?� For a few hours on this particular Saturday night, I�m not me. I�m a makeshift parent. The sniffles just got louder. Maybe she can hear me typing and is calling my attention without opening her mouth. Maybe she really is crying. Or maybe she just needs a tissue. I�m not going in there to give her a tissue. She�s a got a half bath ten feet from her bed. I hear the pitter-patter of feet.
Crap. 011007Stolen from Alexa Trussoni, who stole this from Jason DeRusha... Five things you don't know about me: 1. I cry a lot more now and I don't know why. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe it's age, though I doubt being in my early 20s counts as "old"... It can be a sappy movie, a sappy card, even a sappy TV commercial and I'm tearing up. No more can I bite my lip and it goes away. We're talking tears rolling down the cheeks, people. 2. I'm captivated by really good photography. My guess is it comes from a youth surrounded by my mom's images. If I see great photographic work, my body literally stops moving and I'm frozen in place. This summer, I took the kids I was nannying to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. They ran through the photography exhibit, but I wouldn't leave until I viewed every last image. Suffice to say, they didn't like me for the rest of the day. But I had a magnificent time. 3. I binge eat Old Dutch jalapeno and cheddar kettle chips. They're spicy and give me a slight tingly-mouth sensation, but I love 'em. And once I open a bag, I physically can't stop eating them. I try to count out a serving and put them in a bowl, but when the bowl's gone, I go right back into the kitchen and tear the bag open. I think I need to find a self-help group. 4. My hair hasn't been its natural color since 9th grade. And really, I don't know what my natural hair color looks like. Well, technically, that's a lie, since you can check out my eyebrows for a good estimate. But really, I couldn't tell you if I'm blonde or brunette or that disturbing "dishwater blonde" color that I hate the name of. Highlighting has become a way of life, plain and simple. 5. The only job I've ever loved was unemployment. Depressing, you say? Not really. I've liked plenty of gigs, like the newspaper or photography or even writing my romance manuscript. But when it comes down to it, if I could get paid to do nothing, I'd be happy as a clam. I don't understand the people who say they'd be bored if they didn't work. Ha! Finding things to take up your time is the easy part. The no paychecks thing is what sucks.
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