Feels Like Home
By Chasity
Summary: This is set in the future. Ethan is away from Harmony and has been for a while.
Author's Note: Flashbacks are in italics.
Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters. They belong to Passions, NBC, Outpost Farm Productions, or any of these characters. This is strictly for entertainment purposes and the authors aren't making any profit from these stories. Feedback: Please don't forget to leave feedback to the author of this story!
CHAPTER TWO
Sheridan looked over at Theresa and the man she was dancing with. She hadn't seen Theresa look so happy since before Ethan left.
She hoped that Theresa was finally ready to move on. She had always secretly hoped that Ethan would return home to Harmony - to Theresa. She knew that the kind of love that she and Ethan shared only came along once in a lifetime. She knew because she shared the same with Luis.
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Theresa shook her head as if to shake the thought of Ethan out of her head.
"Something wrong?" Ethan asked her.
"What? Oh no, it was nothing."
"Are you sure? You seemed a million miles away."
"I was just thinking of something that happened to me in the past...it seems like a million years ago."
"Well I won't pry," he told her. He was afraid that if she did tell him, he would break down and tell her who he really was.
"Thanks. So tell me Josh, what are you doing here tonight?"
"I came here..." he debated on whether or not to lie to her. "I came here to meet an old friend."
"Did you meet him? Or her?" she asked silently hoping his friend wasn't a her.
"Yes I did," Ethan said, not bothering to tell her if his friend was male or femal.
"How did it go?"
"Rather well I think."
"Well that's good. How long has it been since you've seen he-your friend?"
"Oh, about 5 years, I guess."
"5 years...long time..." she trailed off.
"Yes too long."
The band took break and they parted.
"Well Theresa, thank you very much for dancing with me."
"Thank you too. I should probably get back to..."
"Yes, of course. Have a lovely stay in Paris."
"Thanks, I'm sure I will," she said as she turned and walked away, thoughts of Ethan still in the back of her mind.
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Ethan watched her return to the bar where Sheridan was waiting for her. His heart cried out for her. He had her here just seconds ago, in his arms - and he let her go. He wanted to tell her the truth, but he couldn't.
He wanted to tell her that even after all these years, he still loved her just as much. Even more. He loved her more than life itself. He wanted to tell her that his hear still beat furiously in his chest when she was neat. His knees still got weak. He wanted to tell her that his body ached for her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together. But he didn't.
He didn't know how she would react if he told her. Would she hate him? Or would she welcome him back with open arms? He didn't know, and he didn't know if he could take being rejected.
At least he had this one last memory of her forever to hold safe in his heart. Memories were all he had left.
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"So?" Sheridan said.
"So what?" Theresa asked, playing dumb.
"Who was that man you were dancing with?"
"Oh, um...his name is Josh."
"I see. You seemed...happy?" Sheridan asked hopefully.
"I guess...I don't know. There was just something about him. Kind of like we had known each other for years...he reminded me of Ethan when we were dancing. I don't know why...he just did."
"I see. So did he tell you anything about himself?"
"Not much, I did most of the talking. He's from Canada. He lives here though. A business move."
"Did you get his number? Or make plans to meet?"
"Hardly Sheridan. The guy could be a crazed serial killer or something."
"Come on Theresa. A crazed serial kill at this sort of function? Not likely."
"Yeah, well..."
"Well nothing. March your proud butt over there right now and make plans to meet him somewhere. What have you got to lose?"
"I don't know - "
"Wll if you don't, then I will, Sheridan began to walk away and Theresa grabbed her arm.
"OK, I'll do it. Just stay here, I'll be back in a minute."
"I'll be waiting," Sheridan replied sweetly.
Theresa just gave her a look and walked through the crowds of people trying to find him. She saw him through the crowd, getting his coat.
He must be leaving, she said to herself.
She rushed to get to him before he left. She felt a sudden urgency to speak to him. She caught him just as he was pushing the doors open to leave. She touched his arm to keep him from leaving and he turned around. When she saw his face, she nearly fainted.
The mask was gone and she could see his face. It was Ethan.
"Ethan?" she managed to choke out.
He looked at her. The pain in her eyes was so evident. So fierce.
"I have to go," he said before he rushed off.
Theresa stood there for what seemed like hours. Not really feeling anything. She was numb. He had stood there right before her very eyes and left her - again.
It was too much. She couldn't take this again. It was all too clear - Ethan wanted no part in her life. Well, that suited her just fine. If Ethan didn't want to be a part of her life, he wouldn't be.
With determination evident in her eyes she vowed to start a new life - one that didn't involve Ethan.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ethan stared at the traffic light. Waiting for it to turn from red to green. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He had left her again. With no explanation, no good-byes, I'm sorry, no nothing.
"You did it," he muttered to himself. "If she didn't hate you before, she hates you now for sure."
He cursed at himself for being so stupid. All he had to do was tell her why he had to leave Harmony. That he still loved her and always would. But he didn't. Because he was a coward.
He was afraid that she would reject him. Or lash out at him for hurting her. And she would have every right to do both. But he didn't know if he could take it. Theresa was the one person he could rely on. Through everything, she was right there by his side. Giving him the strength he needed to go on. But most of all she gave him love. Unconditional love.
And he had ruined it all on his own. Why? Because he knew deep down inside that Theresa deserved far more than he could give her. He came with a lot of baggage and an extra burden was something Theresa didn't need.
So he had left her - twice now. Despite his own unhappiness, all he wanted was for her to be happy. And he knew that he would just bring her down.
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Sheridan saw her walking in. She had been gone for well over 10 minutes so Sheridan had thought things had gone well till she had seen the look on Theresa's face.
"I take it things didn't go well?" Sheridan asked when Theresa arrived at the bar.
"You could say that," Theresa told her.
"I'm sorry Theresa, it's my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you to go after him."
"No Sheridan, I'm glad you did. It made me see things a lot clearer."
"What do you mean?" she asked bewildered.
"It was Ethan," she stated flatly.
"What? It was Ethan? Where did he go? What did he say?"
"He said that he had to go. That's all. He was leaving, I touched his arm, so I wouldn't startle him, and he turned around - sans mask. I was shocked to say the least. I said his name to be sure I wasn't dreaming, and he said he had to go. He took off and left me standing there."
"I'm sorry Theresa. I have no idea - "
"I do Sheridan. I know why Ethan left me, first back in Harmony and now here. He doesn't want to be with me. He doesn't love me. It's all quite clear to me now. I just wish I had've realized it sooner, then I wouldn't have wasted the last 5 years waiting for him. From this moment on, Ethan is no longer a part of my life. No more that I have been a part of his in 5 years."
Chapter Three Coming Soon!
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