Feels Like Home

By Chasity

Summary:  This is set in the future.  Ethan is away from Harmony and has been for a while.

Author's Note:  Flashbacks are in italics.

Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters.  They belong to Passions, NBC, Outpost Farm Productions, or any of these characters.  This is strictly for entertainment purposes and the authors aren't making any profit from these stories.  Feedback: Please don't forget to leave feedback to the author of this story!

CHAPTER ONE

Same day.



Theresa looked around the hotel room excitedly.  This was one of the most amazing room she had ever been in.  Paris, the city of love.  She always imagined that she'd come here with Ethan.

She sighed.  Thinking of Ethan always made her sad.  She hadn't seen him in over five years.  Nobody had seen him.  No one even knew where he was either.  He had been sighted in  Europe, but that was over 3 years ago.  She had secretly hoped that she and Sheridan would run into him while they were here.  She knew that they probably wouldn't though.

He had left so suddenly.  No good byes, just a letter.  Explaining why he had to leave.  He didn't say if he would be back, and after a few years she had assumed that he wasn't.

"So what do you think?"  Sheridan asked, breaking her away from her thoughts.

"It's great.  It's so big."

"Well I figured that we should have the best.  Seen as we are going to be working really hard," Sheridan said laughing.

"Yeah real hard, I'm sure," Theresa said smiling.

"Luis would probably have a fit if he saw this room."

"Probably?  He definitely would.  No questions asked.  I can hear him now."

"This is going to be so exciting.  I mean can you believe it?  I'm getting married.  To the man of my dreams.  You're going to be my maid of honor..."

"I know, it's so unreal.  You and Luis.  I never would have thought that he'd ever speak to another Crane let alone marry one!"

"Yeah, you and me both."

"So what's on the agenda for tomorrow?"

"Well we should go out to the boutiques tomorrow.  I want to find the perfect wedding dress, and bridesmaid dresses.  And of course, something special to finish off my wedding night," Sheridan grinned mischievously.  "And tomorrow night we have that charity masquerade ball I was telling you about."

"OK, so we can sleep in then?"  Theresa asked hopefully.

"Yes we can sleep in sleepyhead.  You know, I don't know how you've managed to keep your job.  You're always sleeping in."

"What can I say?  It must be that Lopez-Fitzgerald charm that you fell for in Luis."

"Charm?  No way, not Luis.  Good looks, yes, great body, yes, as for charm, no way," Sheridan said laughing.

"Well I guess you're right.  About Luis I mean.  Anyway I am absolutely famished.  Where are we going to eat?"

"Hmm, we could go out.  We could go to the hotel restaurant or we could order room service."

"Room service sounds good to me."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

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The Next Day




Ethan nervously paced around his apartment.  He was impatiently waiting for 7:00 to come.  He was leaving then.  To go to the Charity Ball.  He looked in the mirror at himself one last time.  He didn't want Theresa to know it was him, and he had gone to great lengths over the years to change his appearance so that no one would know who he was.  His hair was darker now and he wore a beard.  Not that it mattered, it was a masquerade ball still he hoped that no one would recognize him.  But then part of him hoped that she would see him and realize it was him.

Christ Ethan, why do you torture yourself?  It's been five years.  She's probably married by now.  The thought actually made his stomach turn.  Theresa married.  His Theresa.  With her long silky hair, her deep brown eyes, her beautiful smile...they were supposed to be married.  But he ruined all that when he left.  All the promises he had made to her, the vows of undying love...He just hoped that she knew that no matter what he would love her completely until the day he died.  His heart would always belong to her.

He adjusted his tie again, thinking back to all the times that Theresa fixed it for him.  She'd laugh at his attempt to do it and then do it for him, and he would pull her into a kiss.  They'd always end up being late...

He looked at his watch again, almost 7.  He'd head on down to his car now.  He grabbed his keys and mask and locked his door behind him.  This was a night he had been waiting for over 5 years, and there was no way he was going to be late.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"This is fabulous," Theresa said.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Look at all the beautiful women and men.  I feel like we're at the Oscars or something."

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

"Don't look now, but to your right, there's a woman with a blue feather dress on," Sheridan whispered.

Theresa almost burst out laughing when she saw what she was wearing.

"The fashion police should definitely take her away," Theresa told Sheridan.

"So what would you give her if you were writing about her in your article?  Five stars?"  Sheridan teased.

"Not on your life.  I wouldn't even give her a star."

"I don't blame you."

"So what are we supposed to do now?"

"Nothing really.  This is more or less a way for the rich to feel good about themselves.  They write a check here and there, and they're model citizens.  Then they come here, buy gowns and jewelry that cost twice as much as what they gave, get drunk, and go home."

"I see.  This should be fun..."

"They're not really.  Especially seen as how we're alone.  No one to dance with."

"Well now, I'm sure two american women can manage to find someone to dance with."

"Probably, but I think I want a drink first.  These things can go on for hours."

"I'm with you," Theresa said smiling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He watched her from afar, she was talking to Sheridan.  She looked even morre beautiful than he remembered.  She was wearing a long, sleeveless, midnight blue gown.  It came in at her waist and flared out at the bottom.  He couldn't see her face but he knew it was her.  He could tell by the way she moved her body.  Confident and graceful.  He watched them walk towards the bar and walked ahead himself, keeping a safe distance behind them.  The music started and her saw all the couples heading to the dance floor.  Sheridan and Theresa stayed where they were.  He was tempted to go up and ask her to dance, but thought better of it  Maybe later, when he was feeling more confident.

He stopped a waiter and took a glass of wine from the tray he was carrying.  He might as well try and fit in, seen as he was going to be here a while.  He watched Theresa as she drank her wine and talked with Sheridan.  He wished he knew what they were saying.  He was so close.  He could smell the scent of her hair already.

He could see the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed.  What he wouldn't give to have her in his arms.  To hold her, to kiss her, just be near her.

He waited around fo a while and watched as Sheridan got up to dance with someone.  Theresa got up as well and made her way to the ladies room.  He'd make his move when she came back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Theresa looked at herself in the mirror, and fixed her lipstick.  She was trying to have a good time, but she was finding it hard.  Looking at all the couples laughing and dancing made her nostalgic.  She always thought of Ethan whenever she was at an event like this.  The way they danced together was beautiful.  Their bodies were perfectly in tune with the other.  It was like there was no other people in the room.

She finished reapplying her lipstick and headed out to the bar again to get another drink.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He saw her exit the ladies room from where he was standing at the bar.  He had decided to come a little closer to get a better look at her.  She was looking around for Sheridan, and when she saw that she was still dancing she headed for the bar again.

She was coming straight for him.  She asked the bartender for antoher glass of white wine.  Her watched her as she took a sip from the glass.  She was so elegant, everything about her.  The way she held her glass, the way she sipped her wine, the way she held herself.  She was after changing.  Gone was the naive 17 year old Ethan had fallen madly in love with.  One thing hadn't changed though - he still loved her.

Now was the time.  He had to do it now, or he'd lose his nerve.  He'd ask her to dance.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Theresa looked at the man coming towards her.  She knew he was going to ask ehr to dance, and she really didn't feel like it.  She didn't want to be rude though and say no.  She'd have one dance wit him and that would be all.

"Excuse me miss?"  Ethan asked her, disguising his voice.

"Yes?"  Theresa was surprised to note that he was American.

"Would you like to dance?"

"OK," she said.

He led her to the dance floor and took her in his arms, holding her closely to him.  He could smell her perfume, her hair.  He could feel her silky skin at the small of her back where her dress was open.  He could look down into her deep brown eyes and lose himself forever.

"I'm Theresa by the way."

"Hello Theresa, I'm Joshua," using the name he had been using since he moved to Paris.

"You're not from here?"

"No I'm originally from Canada.  I moved here about 7 years ago for business."

"I see.  I've been to Canada once.  It's a great country."

"Yes it is.  I haven't been there in a while though.  And where are you from?"

"New England, but I llve in Los Angeles now."

"I see.  And what, may I ask are you doing in Paris?"

"Yes you may.  I am here with my brother's fiancee.  She's planning her wedding."

"You two must be very close then."

"Yes we are.  She's my best friend."

"That must be nice, having a close family?"

"It is.  Are you close to your family?"

"I used to be, I'm not anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's my fault.  Don't be sorry."

Ethan looked down at Theresa, she looked so at ease, talking to him about her family.  He felt terrible for deceiving her for his own selfish reasons.  But he had to.  He might never see her again.  He wanted his last memory of her to be a good one.

Theresa looked at the stranger she was dancing with.  What was it about him?  There was something so familiar about him, she just couldn't put her finger on it.  The way they danced together, like they had known each other for years.  The way she freely told him about why she was in Paris, about her family...

She felt so comfortable with this stranger, who called himself Joshua.  She hadn't felt this comfortable with a man since.. since Ethan.