One day I dreamed that I was in that movie, Outbreak. It was extremely scary because despite the fact that the monkey is cute it has a really horrible disease. I don't know about you, but diseases are really scary, especially when there's a cute monkey involved. I guess its the reversal of expectations, I mean cute monkeys are cute monkeys and you expect a cute monkey to do something a cute monkey would do like eat a banana, werk it and reverse it, or other cute monkey things. Instead, this cute monkey KILLS YOU!!! Creepy eh?
Anway, I awoke from the dream, checked my messages and I couldn't believe my ears. The night before, a case of SARS had been discovered on campus. I practically shat my pants. SARS is known to spread like wildfire, especially with Roman Catholics, so I decided to sleep in. But I soon realized, "I have something important to go to!!" Well, it became apparent that I could not sleep in, but had to venture out into the wild. The proper precautions had to be taken. I febrezed myself, lysol'd myself, then bathed myself, then febrezed my clothes, lysol'd my mouth & ears, put on a medical mouth mask and blue hair net, and headed outside.
As I traversed the south quad I noticed that no one else had taken similar precautions. "Queer" I thought to myself. As I went to my classes the same phenomena occured. No one seemed to care about their health. I didn't care about them, what fools, throwing their health to the winds of chance, regardless, I would wear my baby blue atire. During lunch an attractive young lady came up to me and asked why I was all dolled up. I answered bluntly, "SARS!" She laughed, and calmed me the way only a woman can and softly spoke into my ear. She said that it was no SARS epidemic on campus, it was simply a SIDS epidemic. MY EARS HAD FOOLED ME ONCE AGAIN!! Regardless, I kept my baby blue head wear on because I'm a big baby. |
