The Complete Set Of Jokes on desis in America
Collected by Tanveer Islam
Q. How do desis in states have fun ?
A. Read technical books
Q. What do you call it when a desi tries to imitate an American ?
A. Artificial Intelligence
Q. What does a desi's intelligence say to his man-hood ?
A. You are a fictious character.
Q. Why do desis go to a bar ?
A. To stand in a corner and look at the blondes on the sly.
Q. Why is it good to have a desi friend ?
A. You can get your assignments done.
Q. What is a desi's favorite rhyme ?
A. Earn money. look funny. (like a zombie, having spent a lifetime
in the lab)
Q. How do you make a desi's eyes light up ?
A. Wave a dollar bill on his face.
Q. What is a desi's most exciting part of life ?
A. Doing an assignment for a girl.
Q. Why do desis drink a can of beer ?
A. so they could get high.
Q. Why do desis wear underwears ?
A. Because they could have wet dreams.
Q. What do desis do for lovemaking ?
A. Read penthouse.
Q. What do you call a desi between two blondes ?
A. A misfit.
Q. What do you call a desi's brain ?
A. A conundrum.
Q. How does a Professor change a desi's mind ?
A. Offer a RA.
Q. Why do desis like spicy food ?
A. To avoid constipation.
Q. Why do desis wear goggles ?
A. To look at blondes
Q. What do desis mean by fun ?
A. sighting blondes sitting in a car with sun glass doors.
Q. What do you call a desi gathering ?
A. Techinical conference.
Q. When does a desi smile ?
A. After seeing his pay check.
Q. When do desis go to the mosque ?
A. Just before the finals week.
Q. Why is Cinemax's (cable) Friday after dark so successful ?
A1. Because, all desis watch it.
Q. Why does warner cable show X rated movies ?
A. Because desi's won't pay otherwise.
Q. Why are blue films made ?
A. So desis know what sex is all about.
Q. Why do desis drown in a swimming pool ?
A. Because they have pot bellies.
Q. What does a desi do on a date ?
A. Bore the hell out of the girl's mind by talking about his
assignments and how he solved the problems.
Q. What is a desi's most exciting night ?
A. Sitting alone in the lab and reading Alt.sex
Q. How can you punish a desi ?
A. Ask him to talk to a girl without offerring to do her assignment.
Q. Why don't desis wish other desis ?
A. Because, they are scared the other might ask for a quarter.
Q. How do you confuse a desi ?
A. Ask him questions about sexuality.
Q. What is the desi's chronic speech impediment ?
A. His accent.
Q. What do you call a desi who says he dated a blonde ?
A. A braggart.
Q. What do you call a desi girl who isn't beautiful yet stupid ?
A. Piddle shit
Q. How do you identify a stupid desi ?
A. Give him some money and see if he doesn't look gratified.
Q. How does one desi confront the other ?
A. By playing chess.
Q. How does a desi measure his perseverance & stamina ?
A. Watch all the X-rated movies shown on a friday night and still
feel no sexual urges.
Q. How does a desi confuse another desi ?
A. Speak with an american accent.
Q. What are desis famous for floating in the swimming pool ?
A. Because of their strikingly prominent tummies.
Q. How do you excite a desi ?
A. Give him a book about the Theory of Relativity.
Q. Why are desis cockeyed ?
A. Because, they never look at a blonde straight.
Q. How do you describe a desi ?
A. A short zombie who looks intimidated.
Q. Who do you call a smart desi ?
A1. One who can drink two cans of beer and still walk straight.
Q. What is a desi's philosophy of life ?
A. Eat, sleep and study.
Q. Why are desis immune to STDs ?
A. Because they never have sex.
Q. Why does a desi buy a condom ?
A. To add to his collector's items.
Q. How does a desi bragg ?
A. Tell fellow desis that a blonde smiled at him.
Q. What is the difference between a priest/nun and a desi ?
A. The latter has no choice but to stay a virgin.
Q. What do you call a stupid desi ?
A. A techinical fault.
A Bengali Joke
TOP FIFTEEN DESI PICK-UP LINES
15.You Make My Heart's Rikshaw Go Wild
14.You're Hotter Than Garam Garam Chai
13.Baby, You're Sweeter Than Jaleybi
12.I Wanna Spice Your Sabji
11.Girl, I Wanna Strum Your Sitar
10.Come Here Chutney and Spice Up My
9.Lets Go Play Some Kabadi...Kabadi
Kabadi Kabadi Kabadi
8.Boy, I Wanna Beat Your Dhol
7.You Can Be My Chat and I'll Lick You
6.Boy, I Wanna Taste Your Kulfi
5.Girl, I Wanna Squeeze Your Gulab
4.Boy I Wanna Charm Your Naag
3.Lets Do This Desi-Style
2.Lets Do Some Bedroom Bhangra
AND THE NUMBER ONE PICK-UP LINE IS:
1.Lets Kama Sutra
You are an Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi if:
1) When there is a sale on toilet papers, you buy 100 rolls.
2) You use dishwasher as a dish rack.
3) You save grocery bags, mostly to hold garbage.
4) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
5) You majored in Engineering, Computer Science, or Medicine.
6) No one you're related to is a music major.
7) When you go to a dance party, you stand close to the wall
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
8) You feel like you got a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
9) You always look phone numbers up the Yellow/White page rather than
making a 411 call.
10) You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
11) You like the meat well done.
12) You've joined a CD club at least once.
13) You avoid motels especially if there is an acquaintance within
250-mile radius of your destination.
14) You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
15) The car you own is most likely a Camry or Accord.
16) When you dine out (very rarely) you think that $1 is a good tip.
17) You head towards the clearance section as soon as you walk into a
18) Your favorite brandname is "IRREGULAR".
19) A pungent odor of spices hits as soon as someone enters your home.
20) You call fluoroscent lights "tube lights" and a flashlight a
21) When you travel to your country you tie up your luggage with a rope
to keep it from opening apart.
22) You get very upset when the airline agent refuse to accept ur
luggage which is just 60 pounds overweight.
23) You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how
he had to walk two miles barefoot just to get to school.
24) You call an older person you never met before "uncle".
25) When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes, you
discover he is your distant cousin.