1. You have a penis enlargement/porno site/cheap mortgage/12 DVDS FOR ONLY $12!!! to sell me.
2. You feel that we've reached the level in our relationship where you can confide in me.
3. You feel that you need to congratulate me on my site, and thank me in some way. Donations of the monetary kind are welcome, although other forms of donation may be accepted. (I.e. ducks)
4. You've just moved to the middle of the Gobi desert and have no-one else to talk to. (Offer does not apply to non-Gobi desert dwellers. I.e. Sahara desert)
5. You have a suggestion for yet another wacky list, or you feel that there is something that could be added to one of them.
6. You're a neo-nazi who doesn't appreciate all my bagging of your neo-nazism/poor aim and wants to send me a death threat.
7. Same applies for red-necks. (Although I'd hope that a redneck would be able to hit a president in a slow-moving car.)
8. The little kid in the hospital in Albuquerque might die otherwise.
9. I think you'll love these lawyer jokes.
10. I really, really, really want you to mail me.