Event: Messengers Prison Ministry
Location: Bastrop, Texas
Date: May 19,20 – 2001
Purpose: GOD !
Time: 7am
Location: Parking
lot of Bastrop, Texas Federal Prison
Sky: clear, sun
blaring
Wind: 0 mph
Temperature:
108degrees
Humidity: 98%
Air: stifling
As we
unload we can hear the inmates getting rowdy and chanting, possibly on the
verge of a riot as we get set to enter.
The guard comes out to meet us and gives us all bullet proof vests to
wear. The temperature was set to reach
118degrees. Standing there with sweat
just rolling off your skin you start to wonder what you are doing there . . .
OK, if
that’s the perception of this weekend,
then you aren’t alone. But in reality,
it was nothing like what I just said.
The temperature never broke 85 for the weekend. The skies were somewhat overcast and there
was a nice breeze. It was pleasant and
standing outside the prison it was quiet. There was no bullet proof vests and
as you will read, only the clothes and barbed wire reminded you of where you
were.
My
expectations for this weekend were open.
I wasn't sure what to expect, but knew it would become memorable one way
or the other. Prior to agreeing to be a
part of the Messengers Prison Ministry for this weekend, Steve Butler had
brought it up to me several times over the past year. I was only recently saved a few months ago. That was a life changing event for me (hence
the 'reborn' word that everyone uses! :) ) and made me look at things from a
new perspective.
Over the
past year when Steve would ask, I would just reply to him and say how the
prisoners weren't worth it and time could better be spent elsewhere. I even said that I would only go if they put
the worst prisoner on the mound so I could try to drill him for the crime he
committed. But, like I said, all of
that has changed.
This time
as I agreed to the trip my only goal was to see what it was about. I had no intentions of speaking myself to
any of the prisoners. I really didn't
care about playing softball that much.
I knew it is more used as an ice breaker with the prisoners so they will
let their guard down and open their minds to the workings of God. There were 15 guys that were going and we
would all play and bat in all of the games.
Winning and losing wasn't as important as displaying how Christians
should act even in the realm of a Texas Federal Prison and potentially hostile
inmates.
I never
expected my safety to be in jeopardy, and I don't feel that it was. Steve had briefed me that the inmates are
actually glad you come to spend time with them, as few people do. And maybe by us showing that we care, not
only for them as people now, but care about their soul and eternity that we
just might be able to show them how even though they made a mistake, all is not
lost. I feel that this may be the only
potential permanent ‘fix’ to keeping them from coming back to the prison after
their sentence had ended. Realizing
that there is more to life than the temptation or event that led them to
do whatever
crime it was they did.
Friday
night we drove for over 3 hours from Ft. Worth to Bastrop. I expected to see vast desert-like areas
with herds of longhorn steer and cattle and oil wells and cowboy hats being the
norm. I saw NONE of that. I saw 1 longhorn steer – that’s ONE
individual, not even a heard. I saw
maybe, MAYBE a handful of people with cowboy hats on and I saw no oil
wells. Go figure. I guess all of that stuff is on the western
part of Texas. The areas we drove
around were a duplicate of where I live in Columbus, Ohio. Very small hills, green grass, trees, mostly
flat, etc.
We got in
late Friday night and got to bed as we had to get up early Saturday morning –
6am I believe. Who’s freakin idea was
that anyway ???? I was already on the
“God phone line” praying for more sleep time.
Steve is merciless ! Well, at least I didn’t have to drive.
We arrived
at the prison and started unloading our stuff. A guard came out to meet us and we had to fill out some forms
before going inside. While we had our
softball gear and waited inside at the front desk, 2 women came in – one had
three kids with her and the other had a small child. I wondered if the inmates they were visiting (boyfriend or
husband) still thought whatever crime they committed was worth it. What is
worth being locked away and only seeing your family on weekend visits? Was the
punishment of that enough to keep them straight once they got out ? Would they be back ? God only knows. I know it was sad trying to imagine if I was on the inside with
people coming to visit me.
Before
going inside we had to pass through a detector of some kind. Once beyond that we went into a small 10foot
by 15foot room. There were cell doors
on both sides. All 15 of us crammed in
there with our bat bags and a security guard.
When we were in the room the cell door behind us closed and the cell
door in front of us opened. We moved on
to the next checkpoint. At this one a
guard had our drivers licenses and called out our names. One by one we walked by the guard so he
could put a face to the name. We were
close to being ‘inside’ at this point.
The prison was a low level security prison and had several buildings
that were around each other and kinda looked like a small campus. As we began walking toward the fields that
were still unseeable we started to see a few inmates walking around. Some were inside buildings and staring out
as we went by. (Take a note of me
saying that as it links to something later).
We just stared back.
Then as we
started to come to an opening we could see ‘the yard’. What you saw were tennis courts, a walk
track, a covered area with some stair climbers, riding bikes, rowing machies, a
few basketball courts, a few handball courts and right in the middle of all
that was the softball field. The yard
was already full of inmates and when we started walking in the heads started
turning and staring. It was a sea of
people wearing white t-shirts and headphones.
Yes, headphones. I guess that is
their only link to the outside world.
What struck me immediately is how we weren’t blocked off from the
inmates in any way. The inmates were
all playing their own sport, but all were watching us as they did. There was a softball inmate team already
there warming up when we got there.
There were already people in the stands sitting and waiting for the game
to begin. It was about 7am on a
Saturday morning and doing this is a far cry from my normally being sound
asleep in my bed for another 4-5 hours or so back home ! There were about 100 guys in the stands next
to our dugout and about 40 in the stands on the other side. I have no idea how many lined the outfield
at tables that were just sitting and watching.
And remember there was no fence from centerfield over to left field
(left field ran into the basketball courts) and so where the inmates were
sitting was in-play.
What you
noticed about the softball field is this – the fences on the right side were
extremely short and that the walking track actually took up part of right field
and was on the ‘in play’ side of the fence !
So as the games went on, there was a constant flow of inmates walking by
the outfielders, within just a few feet of them. I eventually went out to play right field in one of the
games. It was a little nerve racking
being my first time and now I had inmates walking behind me just a few feet
away and having no idea what to expect.
So, it is possible (and did happen) where a ball is hit and there are
inmates on the track walking and get in the way. Surprisingly they tried to move out of the way for you, but the
whole thing was kinda weird.
While I was
out in right field, some of the inmates would talk to me as they went by. I tried to make a point (after being a
little overwhelmed by the whole thing at first) to say Hi to them as they went
by. One prisoner came by and said to me
that they were going to kick our butts.
Another went by and said he hopes we kick their butts. And yet another came by, checked out our
team and said “Look at the right fielder, he’s the smallest out there and he’s
not small at all !”. For those that
don’t know, I am 5’10”/185lbs and was dwarfed by several of the guys on our
Messengers team.
I was also
the designated hitter some of the time and got to talk to the security guard a
little about the place. He told me they
have never had an escape attempt (the prison is actually kinda nice, with a lot
of things to do, so that is understandable).
He said they have about 1,500 inmates at the location. But before it sounds like a country club, I
asked him if there had been any fights recently or how often they occur. He said “They don’t happen that often, but
it is a prison so they are bound to break out.
It’s usually pretty quiet, although we did have a stabbing last week.” OOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKK, reality check.
The
prisoners in the stands were actually quite respectable. I heard no foul language and nothing was
thrown. It was tamer than the fans at a
football game. Playing against them was
the same. No dirty play went on and
they seemed to just be appreciative that we showed up since they only have 2
teams and have to play each other all the time.
At the end
of each game, Steve would gather everyone around and we would say a prayer and
some of us would give our testimony to them.
I honestly had no intention of doing so. It was Steve that broke the ice for me and I felt something come
over me that compelled me to speak and give my testimony to them. But, let me start with Steve. After he gave his testimony he brought me
out with him standing in the middle of everyone. He told them about how I came down from Ohio just to do this with
them. Then he told them some things
that had me a little concerned at first.
He began with the story of how I used to blow him off when he invited
me. He TOLD them how I used to think
they were just prisoners and not worth us going inside and playing them and
trying to save them. (At this point I
am looking around just waiting to be jumped, I was hoping Steve would hurry up
to the GOOD part of the story as to why I was there and how I spent some of my
own money on the trip. But before he
got to that part I was looking around and checking out the looks I was
getting…..not good. I guess I was
getting the whole prison experience. Nothing
like being in a prison with guys wanting to get a piece of you ! This is where it’s nice to have God on your
side.) J
But they
lightened up after Steve told them the rest.
I later made one of my first testimonial speeches because I wanted them
to hear it directly from me. I came
from Ohio, taking my own time off of work, paying for some of my own airfare
and that I wasn’t there for the softball.
I was there for them. I didn’t
know or care what crimes they committed.
I told them I used to think what Steve was doing was a waste and I told
them directly how I didn’t feel in the past that they were worth it and how
Steve’s time could be better spent elsewhere.
I then told them how God had changed me and that if they didn’t believe
God can change people, then all they have to do is look at me, standing there
before them after the way I used to feel.
I told them that just because you become a Christian it doesn’t make you
a perfect person. You CAN’T be a
perfect person, there was only one………Jesus.
But, by accepting Jesus as your savior you can change and the things
that you once did because you didn’t care, you now realize there is a higher
purpose and that God is always with you to help you.
I told them
that even once they get out, things might not be easy. I told them how what is on their record may
hurt them for getting a job or other things in life. But I reminded them what Jesus went through for them and what a
sacrifice HE made for them and their sins.
I told them how things will happen in their lives that cause strife and
they may not understand why. I told them how God can sometimes do that to you
because he loves you and knows the quickest way to bring you back to him is
when you need something. God doesn’t
care that you need things from him. He
created EVERYTHING. He just wants you
to stay close to him. Ask yourself how
often you pray when things are going great as opposed to when things are going
bad ? You always pray more when they
are going bad and that enhances your relationship and brings you closer to God.
I finalized
my testimony by telling them that I hoped that what I said might save
them. If not today, then maybe it at
least planted a seed in them that will grow over time and one day save them. If that is the case, then my trip was
definitely worth it !
We had 2
men come forward to accept Jesus. In my
opinion the younger of the 2 men saved looked like the baddest guy on the team,
so you just never know. As Steve gave
his testimony I made a point to watch the inmates. You could tell who it was really hitting home to – they were the
ones you could see it in their eyes as they paid attention and obviously were
putting Steve’s and other’s words to events that happened in their lives and
how they could relate. You could see
how they were beginning to understand what was being said and what it
meant. That was a great thing to see.
As said above about remembering where we walked
in and everyone just stared, whether it was inside a building or just walking
around, as we left, they did the same thing, only this time the potential for
hostility that I felt was no longer there, this time we didn’t just stare back,
we waved at them. And wouldn’t you know
it, as soon as we did, everyone of them waved back, either with just a wave or
by giving the peace sign. Hopefully we
made an impression that day in the name of God.
I’m glad I
went to Bastrop, Texas. I learned as
much from the trip as I hope the inmates learned from our visit. I was exhausted when I got home, but it was
nice to get away from prison food ! J
If you get the chance, you should definitely contact Steve and go on one
of these trips yourself. Life is
short….pray hard.
The best
line of the weekend was when the announcer (Steve brought a mic setup and had
an inmate do a play by play) on Sunday said something to the extent of “It’s a
great day here with a beautiful weather, great people, just playing
softball…..There’s nothing that could make it better…..well…….(and everyone
laughed with the implication that they would change the fact that they were
inmates). J
Even prison
can’t take away your sense of humor.
I hope to
have some pictures of those that attended with me in the near future.
-Jerry