Tho Daa Naina.., 

The aesthetic quality of Madras Tamil comes from the fact that a 
classical (and old) language like Tamil is given that contemporary touch by 
the constructive intrusions from languages like Hindi, Telugu, Greek, 
Italian, Persian and most importantly English (naduvula konjam uttaks 
naina). 

As a result, the language may sound uncivilized, from the point 
of view of the Madurai folks, who respectfully say 'Vaanga..ponga..' even 
before 'veesing' the 'veecharuvaa' and the Coimbatore folks who add this 
sickening slur to every statement... and in their obsession with pure Tamil 
curb the unfettered evolution of the language, thereby leading to little 
or no development of the language itself. 

For instance, words like 'bejaar', 'peela', 'saavu graaki' have 
no sense and no equivalents in the Southern dialects of tamil. Certainly an 
inexplicable loss to Tamil Language! Now, really getting into the mechanics of 
the spoken language, the most important point is the relative position of 
the lips while speaking. While most tamil dialects involve a cavity of 2 
inches between the lips, Madras tamil involves a much lesser gap (0.5 to 
1.2 Inches). Mastering the exact position is half the language 
learnt. 

Assuming we're using flash cards, 

Card# 1. 
All words -- more specifically, all verbs need to be consistently 
shortened adhering to a set of strict rules. padiththu(read), 
mudiththu(complete), sabiththu(curse) will be gracefully shortened as 'Pachchi', 
'muchchi', 'sabchi'. Note the conversion of the syllable 'da' to 'cha'. This 
is essentially true for the entire gamut of emotions to be conveyed 
in Madras 

Tamil. 'kondirukkiren' is converted for simplicity to 
'...nikkeren'. As a corollary, 'padiththu kondirukkiren' = 'pachchi-nikkeren' 
'kuliththu kondirukkiren' = 'kulchi-nikkeren'. Readers can understand 
immediately that this was done to save time, so that in the same period of time a 
Madras Tamilar can convey 1.5 times that of a Madurai Tamilar and 5000 
times that of a Coimbatore Tamilar (depending on the length of the drawl... 
like 'yaeeeeeeenunga?' or when you take a bus trip from CIT to 
Pappanayakka Palayam you come to hear words like yaeeeeeenungaaaaa oaaru 
papnayakka palayam koodungeeeeeee) One anomaly to this short! 
ening rule is, some words get suffixed with the syllable 'ka'. 
So, summa = summaka, dhoora = dhooraka. 


Card# 2. 
'da' is used by ALL IIT guys and ALL policemen for quite 
different reasons. The tone of 'ennada, license enga, vootlaya?' and 'what da, where 
is the Jantha, da?' are self-explanatory. Incidentally, all words 
beginning with 'vee' can be unconditionally substituted with 'voo'. So 'Veedu' = 
'voodu' and 'Vittuvidu' = 'vuttudu'. Coming back to 'da', a euphemism for 
that would be 'ba'. So a 'ennada' would be made to sound much less offensive 
with 'ennaba'. Other less effective words, principally used among 
friends include 'naina','vaadhyaare', machi', 'berther'(brother),'allo'(hello)... 
the list is endless. When it comes to expressing intimacy and friendship, 
Madras Tamil is the best in the world. 

Card# 3. 
'enna'(what?) in Madras is 'yeenaa?'. So, combining equations (2) 
and (5), (sorry ba, 12th Maths madhiree aaychee) 'yeenaa pachchinikkera?', 
'yeenaa kachinikkera?'. 

Card# 4. 
The syllable 'zha'(as in tamizh) becomes 'ya'. So, 'vaazhai 
pazham' is 'vaaya payam', 'vaazhkai' is 'vaaykai', 'vazhukki' is 'vaykki'. 
Off the record, 'zha' is a pain in the butt. More than 95% of Tamil Nadu 
substitutes it with 'ya' or 'la'. 

Card# 5. 
When it comes to borrowing words from other languages 
'Madrassukku nigar Madrasse'. English words can be used in any context without 
feeling alien. 'wrongu', 'rightu', 'yechuse me', 'adjist', 'abase', 'abscond', 
'beetiful', 'super', 'fruitu', 'pilim','figureu' and so on. Hindi has its 
contributions like 'bejaar'. Telugu:'naina', 'baava', 'eppudu', 'cheppu' etc. 
Many such languages have their representation all of which cannot be listed 
here. 

Also 
singular and plurals in English are inversed. So, even one lady 
becomes 'ladees', one friend becomes 'priends', a vegetable puff becomes 
'puphs' etc. 

Miscellany: 
Superlatives are mostly functions of time and fame. But some 
superlatives like 'Lord Labakdas','Amrican citizen', ' Columbus', 'pisthu', 
'pistha' can be used at any time,anywhere, guaranteed. The etymology of these 
words are 

unknown. Slangs are very important inMadras. Especially while 
drunk, during 'kozha adi sandai' and in the 'paal booth'. 'saavu graaki', 
'somaari', 'kasmalum' can be used as and when required. 

P.S: Tamil spoken at Ethiraj, Stella Maris (if at all they ever 
speak!) is entirely different and is beyond the scope of this article