JoevsPhil.page

FIGHT: Joseph Herron vs. Phillip Wencel

REASON FOR FIGHT: Phil keeps stealing Joe's web site ideas and it makes me look like Joe is copying him when he's copying Joe. Also Phil spoiled five hours of Joe's fun which could've been awesome, now Joe's parents think he had a lot of fun when he didn't. ALSO Phil stole Joe's hat and now he is in a lot of trouble with his parents.

Joseph Herron                                                                     STRENGTHS: -Kinda strong
                                                                                                               -Strength doubles or                                                                                                                                    even triples when he's                                                                                                                                 angry.
                                                                                                               -Incredibly fast
                                                                                                               -Took eight marshal arts                                                                                                                               at one time
                                                                                                                -Good with a sword
                                                                                                                -Good with small arms
                                                                                                                -Good with explosives
                                                                                                                -Amazingly smart
                                                                                                                 -High-pitched screech
                                                                                                                 -Has a will of Iron!
                                                                                                                 -Is very very rich
                                                                                            WEAKNESSES: -Low endurance; can                                                                                                                                   only run 70 mph for 5                                                                                                                                seconds!
                                                                                                                    -Too forgiving
                                                                                                                    -Likes girls too much
                                                                                                                    -Unpopular

Phillip Wencel                                                                    STRENGTHS: -Has voluminous                                                                                                                                         amounts of energy                                                                                                                                     (because of excessive                                                                                                                                 consumption of                                                                                                                                          Mountain Dew�)
                                                                                                              -Pretty strong
                                                                                                              -Carries extra Mountain                                                                                                                               Dews as power-ups
                                                                                                              -Heavy weight makes                                                                                                                                  him harder to move
                                                                                                              -Because of Mountain                                                                                                                                  Dew's preservatives                                                                                                                                   Phil is very hard to                                                                                                                                     damage because the                                                                                                                                    preservatives protect                                                                                                                                  him.
                                                                                            WEAKNESSES: -slow because of                                                                                                                                          heavy weight
                                                                                                                     -Kinda dumb
                                                                                                                     -gullible


NITTY GRITTY: The current champ steps into the ring holding up his winning belt. Phil enters the ring very hyper on Mountain Dew. Joe charges at Phil, feints, flips over Phil head and kicks him right in the back. Normal people would have flown right into the wall, but not heavy weight Phil. Phil is slightly damaged. Phil then finishes his Mountain Dew. Phil looks as good as new. Joe starts to sweat, Joe knows that Phil will keep healing until he runs out of Mountain Dew�, but by then he would pass out from exhaustion. Phil runs straight at Joe, then immediately punches him in the nose! Joe is bleeding from it. Joe's iron will just won't give up! Then Joe realizes that aluminum cans are not bullet-proof! Joe yells to the crowd, "Hey anybody here wanna hand me a gun!?" The crowd boos and throws tomatoes at him! Joe looks like he's been shot with so much red on him. Then Joe sees the security guard! Joe says timeout and Phil agrees. Phil sits on his fat fat ass and drinks MD. Joe walks over to the guard, mumbles something, pulls out his wallet and hands the guard a Benjamin. The guard then hands Joe his hand gun. Joe then walks right in Phil's face and says, "Time in, fatty." Phil then says, "Don't call me fat you fu##ing Jew!" Joe then fires his pistol at one of Phil's MDs. Joe then quickly swoops down to catch a gulp as it pours out! He manages to get a mouthful, but miraciasly Joe's nose bleed is cured! Joe curious, puts his wallet in the MD flow, then suddenly, Joe's missing Benjamin grew back! Joe then shouts, "This stuff really is a magic healer!" Phil then finally realizes what happened. Phil is enraged! Phil tries to punch Joe but Joe swiftly dodges. Phil manages to get a punch in on Joe's right eye. Joe's strength suddenly triples! Phil is running away like a mad man while Joe is chasing him down. Phil stops to catch his breath while Joe punches and kicks him. Phil is brutally beaten. It looks like Joe's is surely going to win. When the same psycho that killed John Lenin suddenly enters the ring and bites both Joe and Phil in the jugular vein! (Afterwards the insane asylum guys come in a white truck, one of them says to the other guy, "I told you that Minnesota field trip was a bad idea!" Then the other guys shouts, "Ah, shaddup!")

WINNER: The insane guy.