Butt Pirate
Homosexuality
Are there any queers in the theater tonight? Get them up
against the wall.
Of late, a certain Congressman has been heard to say that homosexuality is
a disease, and should be treated in the same way as alcoholism, and
kleptomania. He even went as far as to say that a gay festival in
Orlando, was just asking for God to send a hurricane, and destroy all the
sinners, in the spirit of Soddom, or Gomorrah, I suspect.
In addition, not so long ago, the Baptist Church proposed a ban on Disney
World, because they allowed homosexuals to openly frolic in their parks,
and because they own ABC, which aired a show starring Ellen Degeneres, an
openly gay comedienne. Of course, there was no mention of the teenage
sluts giving head in the sky carts, because at least she's doing what the
good book intended.
Personally, I think all of these people were dropped on their heads as
children, because nothing they say makes a damn bit of sense. In what way
does any of this effect you, me, or the world in general. I mean, I'll be
the first one to admit, the sight of two butch guys swapping spit isn't
what I want to see when I am riding Space Mountain, but then again, the
mere thought of two attractive young girls gettin' it on is enough to
leave a smile on my face for an hour or two. Besides, there are a lot
worse things, like seeing anybody over 40 kissing. Or seeing old people
act
like they are young. Or like seeing a fellow man being whipped around by
a harsh, bossy, self-centered woman. I think if a man is going to totally
submit himself to a woman, to be her grateful slave, he may as well bend
over and take a gift from daddy, unless of course his submissive behavior
is a fetish thing, which would be kind of sexy, and cool.
Maybe I am just a little more used to cultural differences, because I live
in Atlanta. A town where bars like Backstreet, and Bulldog, are everday
occurences. A place where gay rights festivals pop up all the time. A
city where there is even a restaurant named Mick's for all of them to hang
out. A community, where the mention of living in Midtown will get you a
wink from a strapping stud.
But still, if I am willing to live with them, I think the rest of the
world can handle it. I mean, unless you are an idiot, you realize that it
is just a little more than a sickness. Maybe it's a birth defect. Maybe
it's the result of a tramatic experience. My personal theory is that it
is hereditary, so if your kid likes to enter through the backdoor, it is
probably a result of some secret tendency of your own, that you have kept
hidden for oh so long. Or perhaps, the best theory, comes from Kevin Smith, that they are just some
guys in need of some serious deep dicking. As for woman to woman love,
well, that's just a good time for everyone involved.
So, in closing, let the boys play. I mean, in most instances, the people
who hate them the most, are the people who are closest rump roasters
themselves. You know, the type of guys you see in Deliverance, or Pulp
Fiction. And as for you people who still consider to hate them, I hope
your children grow up to be flaming, cross-dressing, cock chugging boys.
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