Stop Being Yourself
Annoying People
I've got a bad habit, of blowing you away.
As anyone can see, there are plenty of people in the world who annoy me.
This page is just a short list of those who irk every misanthropic bone in
my body, yet are so unoriginal, and so pathetic, that they do not deserve
an article unto themselves. This list will be updated constantly.
People who visit this page, yet never sign the guestbook.
I know people come, and I know they look, but I don't know who they are,
because they are all too lazy to sign the damn book. I know your IP
address people (doesn't that make me sound cool), don't give me a reason
to hunt you down. To make my point even clearer, if you like the page
especially, SIGN THE FUCKING
BOOK. If I don't know that people like the page, there
is
really no reason to maintain it.
People who feel the need to answer rhetorical questions.
Here's a quarter, buy a clue. When the professor asks the class a
question, the correct response is to stare blankly at him, and scratch
your head, like a chimp, trying to open a banana. If he thinks everyone
is stupid, he'll be more willing to go easy on the exam.
People who laugh at there own jokes
It's understandable if you are with people, and they are laughing with
you, but if you say something, and no one else finds it funny, it's just
stupid to sit there and giggle by yourself. I suggest just staring at
them with an intense, brooding look, indicating that you are so deep, and
so intense, that humor is a waste of time around you.
People who clap at the movies.
You've all witnesses it. Sometimes, at the end of a really good movie, or
a superbly done action scene, the crowd bursts out into applause. But who
are you clapping for? The actor is not in the theater, genius, and even
if he was, those Hollywood types have enough ego of their own, without you
giving them a boost. So that just leaves the projectionist, who is no
doubt some pimple faced 15 year old who wasn't smart enough to get a real
job, and is such a loser that he can afford to work late on the weekends,
because he has no where else to go. If you are applauding for him, I can
understand, because it is a miracle that most of the morons who work at
theaters can figure out how to run that thing.
A sidebar, the most annoying applause enthusiasts, are those idiots at the
AMC theaters, who clap during those "Clap if you do X" adds that show
before the previews.
People who think they are better than others, and feel the need to
express it in person.
First, let's face facts, I am better than any, and probably all of you.
But, and this is a big but, I spout about it here, in my own little state
college supplied Hyper Text environment. I don't force anyone to come
here, and I don't force you to stay, although, quite obviously, it is in
your best interest to do both.
People who feel the need to voice their superiority over other parties, in
the presence of said party, astound me. Especially, since in most cases,
these people are just wrong. They are the type of person that everyone
else knows is a loser, but some how they have avoided looking in the
mirror their entire life. The proper way to deal with, and discuss, your
superiority to others, is behind their back. Then, when you are around
them, you pretend to respect them. This keeps them in the dark, and
leaves them guessing. Especially, once what you said gets back to them
through the grapevine, then they have no idea what to expect of you, or
when to expect it.
BACK