Kill'em All

Abortion

Body I'm not an animal. Mummy I'm not an abortion.


Every so often, and not every day, mind you, when I get in an especially intellectual mood, I'll turn on the ol' telly around seven in the evening, and decide to check out some Peter Jennings, and get an idea as to what's going on in this great (sic) country of ours.

And every once in a while, and not every time, mind you, among the stories of horrors abroad, and the Dow Jones plummeting, without fail, there will be some story about a crazed pro-lifer stalking an abortion doctor, or blowing up a clinic and killing some teenage girls.

Now, I realize, unfortunately, not everyone out there is as intelligent as you and I, but how fucking stupid does one have to be to become one of these radical, foaming at the mouth, witch hunting, pro-life extremists? This group consists of the most ignorant, Bible Thumping, closed-minded people allowed to exist on the face of the planet.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of sucking up children with vaccuums and burying them out back in the Pet Cemetary. Hell, I don't even like that suction thing the dentist uses. But, on the other hand, I am sure as hell not going to run around with my gat, and a book bag full of plastique threatening to knock off anyone or thing that gets in the way of my opinion, and even if I were, there are a lot of people I would take out long before I came around to the rabid pro-choicers (see previous).

Furthermore, I think abortion is permittable, even necesary, in some situations. For instance, say one night I get liquored up and go to a club. I start dancing with a fine young lady, and one thing leads to another, and next thing you know, we're getting our bump on in the back of her Chevy Van out in the parking lot. Two weeks later, she calls up, and says she's pregnant. Meanwhile, I can't barely remember the night, her name, and I'm having difficulty fathoming the fact that I could get it up, much less that we did something with it.

There is only one response for this situation. Why should I have to answer for mistakes made by a combo of Mr. Happy, and Mr. Cuervo? I don't have the time, or the money. And what kind of mother is the kid going to have. I mean, think about it, would you want to know that you were brought into this world because your Mom gave it up for a guy she barely knew after two hours of dirty dancing, and a couple of dry martinis?

Plenty of people are going to say, abstinance is the best policy, but be real. Maybe back in the sixties, or the forties, or whenever it was that you thought you were cool, that was an option, but in today's society? Blame it on TV, or the movies, or bad parenting, or lack of role models, or whatever you want, but the simple truth is, hormones are raging, alcohol and drugs are all to easy to come by, and no matter how much preaching you do, it's still going to happen, someplace, somewhere. Parents who think their teenagers are virgins, are either lucky, or just ignorant, and I think the latter is the more prevalent of the two.

But, let's just ignore all that. Let's assume, our two fornicators are a happily married couple, that has used proper contraceptives. Acci dents still happen. And what if these people are dirt poor? What other option is there? I see enough of Sally Strothers pleading to send money to African children, do you need to create American kids to starve to death as well? Is it fair to place such a financial burden on a family who can't handle it?

And even if they do have the money, what if they just have morals? Have you taken a look around, and seen the world we live in? I don't think there is too much out there to justify bringing children into this world. I mean, procreation is certainly necesary for the survival of the species, but having six, or seven, or seventeen kids, that's just overkill. The world isn't exactly producing oxygen and food to a limitless degree, and last I heard, that colony on Mars wasn't quite settled in yet.

There are plenty of other reasons for abortion. Rape victims shouldn't have to be forced to birth a child they didn't want. Crack whores, and wellfare mothers...nothing good can come of these people reproducing. And I'll be damned if we need any more Republicans in this world.

And finally, there is the most compelling argument. A woman's body, is her body, and it is her right to choose. Not her parent's. Not her husband's. Not her priest's. Not some gun toting hip gangster pro-lifer. I mean, let's not forget, this thing is growing inside of her. Personally, is something is growing on my me, my first reaction, is get it off, so why shouldn't a woman feel the same way. I don't want warts or calluses all over my body, and noone would complain if I decided to remove them, so why complain if a woman chooses to destroy a part of her?

So, in closing, abortion is wrong, unless you are the one considering it. Children should only be brought into this world if they are created with love, and if there family is willing to handle the obligations, and willing to supply all the things to make a child's life worthwhile. Otherwise, if there is a deadbeat dad, or a prostitute mom, or just some plain mean people that might have a pregnancy as a result of something they did, for my sake, and yours, and especially the fetus's, give them the number of the nearest clinic.

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