dealing_with_feelings

Dealing with feelings is an important step in the sequence of learning how to cope with life. You need to discover how feelings fit into the picture of healing and recovery in your life.

THOUGHTS --> FEELINGS --> EMOTIONS --> BEHAVIOUR

What you think determines how you feel, which in turn affects your emotions and results in how you act. Just about anything you do is emotionally connected in that fashion. How you feel is caused not only by physical changes that occur in your body, it is also determined by your thought processes and your beliefs. In other words, what you think determines how you feel.

One of the most serious problems you face is learning how to control your feelngs. Feelings are generated within your mind.

The appropriate application of the Bible concerning yourself wil give you the proper feelings and will help you manage those feelings. Eventually, as you develop your relationship with Jesus Christ, the proper application of the Bible will change your behaviour.

POSITIVE EMOTIONS:    LOVE, JOY & PEACE

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS:   ANGER, ANGUISH & CONCERN

SINS:   HATRED, SELF-PITY & ANXIETY


Love, joy, peace are positive-extreme emotions.
Hate, self-ptiy, anxiety are sins (negative extreme).
Anger, anguish, concern are the in-betweens and they are not sins but will become sins if we let them slide to the negative-extreme.

It is possible to feel hurt or anguish, yet not sorry for the yourself. It is a negative feeling but it is not sinful. A classic example of this is Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. He experienced agony. He was hurt but He did not feel sorry for Himself. (Luke 22:42 - 44).

Another example is at the grave of Lazarus, Jesus wept because of the unbelief of the people around Him. He felt anguish. He felt hurt; He did not feel love, joy and peace. But He did not feel sorry for Himself. (Joh 11:33-37).

It is just as spiritual to feel anger, anguish & hurt or concern, as it is to feel love, joy and peace.

What makes anger different from hatred, is that a measure of love can still be found/present when you are angry. Hatred is the absence of love. However, you can still be angry with someone and yet love him.

It is the same with the other 2 emotions. When you feel those negative emotions, you cannot afford to play with them. When you feel them coming, you must realise you are on a downhill slide into sin. Unless you bring Jesus into the scene at this juncture, and release the sinful emotions to Him immediately, you will find yourself subject to them. Remember, Jesus is not in your worry, but in your concern. He is not in your self-pity but in your hurt. He is not in your hatred but in your anger.

The difference between a negative emotion and a sinful emotion is whether God is in it.

Another way to tell the difference between anger and hatred is when you lose control. You do not lose control with negative emotions. Loss of control is a distinction of hatred and self-pity and anxiety. It is also an indication that you have turned away from God and have entered into sin.

The behaviourial side of the fruits of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal 5:22-23)

Jesus says the application for dealing with hatred inside is forgiveness. You must forgive others for trespassing against you. And you have to be able to receive forgiveness from others. Forgiveness is an expression of FAITH. It puts you back into the anger-love mode. When you confess before God that there is hatred within you but you want to be able to forgive, He is faithful and just to forgive you. Then you can forgive others.

In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus gives us an example to follow :
The way you are to deal wih pain, agony and anguish to keep it from going into self-pity, is to submit to the Father. In faith, you are to say, "If you want me to go through this agony, I will go through it. I trust you to carry me through this because you know what is best for me."

This is something you must learn : Unless you count it all joy when you fall into trials, you will look around for something to ease it. There will be many trials. You will have to learn how to suffer and like Christ, how to handle sufferings. He moved His anguish to JOY.

Phil 4:6-9 deal with the transition from concern or worry to peace. Paul teaches us how to deal with worry. The practical way to deal with worry is to turn your worry into prayer. You are to talk to God about it and let your request be made known to God. When you bring God into your worries, Phil 4:7 applies. When you go to the Lord about something, you get peace about it. You are in the same circumstances, but you feel better, because God gives you peace about it that transcends your understanding.

From that point, you need to apply verse 8. You are to control your thoughts. Think things that are good. Think positively. Think how God will bring you through your circumstances. Think how you will win, not how you will lose.

In verse 9, you can see the wonderful result of trusting God. God gives you peace. As you go to prayer; as you focus on the victory; as you bear and endure your trials, in the midst of it all, God wraps you in His peace. It is His unfailing promise to you as you desire to do His Will.