MandiLee

                            SHE

   She gazes out into oblivion
   Through the smoke that's wasting away
   She knows she has to quit
   But she'll do it some other day
   She listens to the song
   But she doesn't hear a thing
   She flicks the ashes in her hand
   But she doesn't feel the sting
   She cries within her soul
   But doesn't utter a sound
   She misses the happiness
   And hates the anger that she's found
   She knows that she's not alone
   But she doesn't understand
   She feels no resistance
   When she puts the razor below her hand
   She doesn't see the blood
   That's pouring down her arm
   She doesn't know what she's doing
   She doesn't see the harm
   She won't have time to tell him
   Exactly how much pain
   She doesn't even hate him
   For that would be in vain
   The darkness sweeps before her
   And she's starting to feel the cold
   She's lying in the ashes
   Of cigarettes weeks old
   She breathes her last breath
   And whispers her last goodbye
   She will never tell a soul
   Why she had to die

   Posted 1/17/02

            BLACK

   My black is back
   Digging in my heart
   My sad inside
   Tearing me apart
   Can anyone see
   I'm dying here?
   Of course they can't
   I won't show my fear.
   My black is back
   It's happening again
   I'm feeling lost
   Remembering when
   I lost my shadow
   On the wall
   My black is back
   I'm beginning to fall

   Posted 1/17/02

          Paper Tears

   It's late at night
   I sit alone
   These paper tears
   I can't condone
   I have no reason
   To feel this pain
   These paper tears
   Flow down like rain
   I scrawl the words
   That clutter my mind
   The peace of God
   Impossible to find
   I'm letting myself
   Feel so helpless
   My heart in shambles
   My life a mess
   It's early morning
   The quiet dark
   I'm kept awake
   By a pain filled heart
   I feel alone
   No soul to hold
   But those paper tears
   Again unfold.

   Posted 1/17/02

                    HANDS

   Hands so big and hard
   So soft when they touch me
   I am complete with them
   They place me with the stars
   But my hands are small
   When his let go
   And they always do
   I am falling again

   Posted 1/17/02

            UNTITLED

   Chalk white faces in a
   Blood red world
   Shadows watching
   Hatred unfurled
   Uncertainty devours us
   Invading our space
   Doesn't matter where
   I'm still out of place
   Tears full of rage
   Heard over the din
   No one to trust
   Not friends, nor kin
   They're all out to get me
   Though you'll never see
   Everyone is happy now
   Everyone but me

   Posted 1/17/02