ABOUT DANIEL PAN
By Thomas Musick
On Jan. 3, 1980, Daniel Chun-Kae Pan entered the world. His parents,
who could see into the future, named him Daniel after their favorite rock
star, John Mellencamp. His middle name, Chun-Kae, was chosen because of its
Siberian meaning: "Gentle Flower." Mr. and Mrs. Pan doted on young
Daniel, and he soon blossomed into a brilliant manchild.
Life as a manchild often made school difficult. In 2nd grade, other children would make fun of his handlebar mustache and wrinkly forehead. Luckily, his parents saved enough money to buy medicine that reversed his aging process. Unfortunately, he OD'd on the drugs and was a full-blown toddler by age 14. Most of his high-school years were spent hiding in the bushes or playing with squeaky toys.
Things evened out for the Gentle Flower by college. He dabbled in various academic pursuits, including plant psychology and aeronautical leisure studies. Eventually he found his dream field: mulletology. He became an inspiration to Chinese astronauts and Hawaiian baseball players, and today a statue bearing his name stands tall in front of the Mullet Hall of Fame in Little Rock, Arkansas. Daniel Chun-Kae Pan may be business up front, but he most certainly is a party in the back. MORE ABOUT DANIEL PAN (CLICK)
|
|
