Thomas Duffy

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Name: Tom Duffy

Nicknames: Squeaky Ned, Theodore

Year/Major: Graduated with a degree in Chemical Engineering

Hobbies: playing/watching sports, playing computer games, politics

Bio: One of my best friends at the U of I from Bloomingdale, IL. Calls himself The Fastest White Man Alive. Runs the hundred in 17.01 seconds. Anybody faster is by definition African American. Bloomingdale, IL. A clumsy person who once accidently dropped rogaine on himself. Likes to strip in front of people at the bowling alley. Pretty smart since he studies alot and carrys a 40 lb red backpack on his shoulder. A failed baseball player who has dreams in becoming the next Vanilla Ice. Constantly has various issues. Holds the record for scaring off 3 women in a two minute span. Always complaining about something. Loves watching episodes of Maury dealing with troubled teens. Producer of the highly claimed soap, "As Duffy Turns" and a lead character in "Guiding Synder". Inherited the childness gene from me and as a result got choked by his RA Ernst Lamothe two times in the study lounge. Possesses a sweet jumper in basketball although he likes to take 3 foot jumpers from 5 feet away. Likes talking smack to 7th graders in various sporting events. Thinks that Illini football team can't even tackle him in a phone booth. A master of running the option even though netting negative yards. Often finds myself puking after Cubs, Bears, and Illini games and constantly thinks about protesting their games. Claims that he is up and coming Saviour of the Illini football program, by turing the organizations 360 degrees. Screamed like a girl while being locked in the recycling closet. A weakest member of the Schumer Protection Agency