stories

1. submitted by Bradley the fish
It was a hot humid in the french polynesia on my holidays. i was layin half asleep on my banana chair when a heard all the villagers running then i saw them jump onto boats. they seemed to be escaping something but before i could piss off with them they were all gone i was the only one left on the island. Then i saw what they were escaping from, the jaws of a mutated ill tempered turtle, the kind with parachutes hangin from their elbows and rockets for earings. i was petrified so i dialed 911 on my phone shoe and called the turkey stuffing police. soo they came and rescued me and killed the evil creature and now im at home.

2. submitted by Jonas the rapist
i never took notice of cruelty to animals so i joined a secret organisation called "animal rapists who pretend to save animals when in reality we rape them" and i feel good so join us.

3. submitted by the pink panther
on a sunny saturday morning i was working my parrot down the great western highway when 3 pittbulls circled me and my parrot i thought i was doomedbut my parrot out of nowhere got this confidencs ( i think it was hes testosterone cause hes balls grew huge) and he snappped at one dog taking half its nose off then he karate kicked the other dog in his middle toe which sent him sprawling on the roadthen the remaining dog started to pull himself off so i decided to put my parrot in the navy to fight for hes country but he turned gay and got kicked out so i bought a dog called doggy.

4. submitted by gregory brother of ginger meggs
i was at a bar with my cool dude freinds when the most beautiful women i have ever seen walked passed me. she had these thick glasses that looked as if you could see planets from earth, she wore a sexy mitlary outfit that made me sweat but the thing that most took my attention was her unsightly facial hair , her magnifsant one eybrow, little french moe she had it all........................................................so after all the crap we went back to my place and she took off her top which reveiled her dark thick chest hairs then she took off her pants which showed her sexy un waxed bikini line the hairs were so black and curly .............. then i remeber her knocking me out and waking up handcuffed to the bed with my wallet gone. ever since that day i vowed never to be with another women i only wanted her if was a her that is.