I'm in school today having my duty... alone.... o well, it's boring here and i couldn't get to do stuff that i want to do... :c
it's been a week that we've parted ways, and i know that you're okei having this kind of setup, as for me, i'm still adjusting... i've been busy the whole week that what happened between us was just in my mind but because of school work i didn't get to think about it the whole time... i'm still HURTING, definitely... but what can i do but to just stay in one corner, think of you... know what you're doing... ask myself if you're okay... and then CRY...
crying had been my past time since we parted ways... i know we remained as bestfriends but i know i can't be jealous anymore nor be protective of you... coz your NOT mine na... sad thing to know that the person you love the most is not with you... the person you cherish is far from you... you can't even hug him if you need to... it HURTS... it really HURTS.... :(
9:13 a.m.
.......
how i wish i could still fight for what i feel....
how i wish i could still hug you near...
but all these things i cannot do...
that is because, i love you... :(
they say when you love someone, you'll be happy... i know i love you, and i'm happy that i'm with you, but the fact is i couldn't be the one for you, 'coz i know i've hurt you that much and that i think i can't be with you anymore. things have changed between us and now i'm scared again that this time, i'll loose you forver and not have you back anymore. things will never be the same kasi alam ko nasaktan na kita ng sobra... gustuhin ko man ipaglaban yung nararamdaman ko, pero i can't na eh... sad to know pero ewan ko pero i just have to accept it nalang siguro and be brave... haaaay... i just love you so much that's why i'm feeling like this... :(
things have changed, and i admit it... the problem is it's hard for me to accept it. nonetheless, i'll try my best... I LOST YOU ONCE, NOW I THINK I'M LOOSING YOU FOREVER... just the thought of it made my heart beat faster... but what's the use, i can't have you anymore...
it hurts that the person you love is not around anymore.... i know i've hurt you BIG TIME and if MNU should separate, U will just have to understand that she's not the right girl for M anymore, she have hurt M enough that things resulted to these way.
.... don't worry I don't blame you if you feel this way i just want you to know that i loved you... i love you... and will still love you, kahit ano pa ang mangyari. i'll still can be the same udji yun nga lang not to be your GIRLFRIEND, but just your BESTFRIEND nalang... if you would allow that to happen.... before i could still remember that whenever we talk when we were still BESTFRIENDS, we would always say na... "kahit anong mangyari BESTFRIENDS parin tayo"... i wish this would happen. i wish things would get back the way they used to kahit BESTFRIENDS lang, pero kung pati yun, hindi pwede, it would HURT me BIG TIME, kasi minahal kita ng sobra eh... i loved you to the extent that eventhough you hurt me, okay lang sa akin... it's like ako nalang yung masaktan kaysa ikaw... maybe we're really better off separated... i mean, things will never be the same... kahit na ano pang gawin ko i couldn't save this relationship anymore... i just love you so much... that's all... :(
i'm sorry for hurting you... i just hope you'll find someone who can make you happy and would bring out the best in you... THANK YOU FOR ALL THE MEMORIES we had. having you in my life has been the greatest gift i ever recieved from Him. I just don't get it why He gave you to get you from me pa... :(
FOR THE LAST TIME........I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MITCH!!!!
*mwah*
March 20, 2003
2:32 p.m.
oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo.... i haven't blogged for weaks now... it's because ang DAMING ginagawa sa school sobra... i have to many projects to do and it's just today that i got a little time to blog... o well, :)
.....
actually, things are not yet back to the way they were before... i had still been crying at night when i know that i couldn't have time with him... things are complicated nowadays... i do get to be with him, yes, but i know were really not that okei yet. actually, there is still something thats keeping me from being sweet to him...i don't know, i can't even explain eh... actually, we talked last monday... and he told me things that he was suppose to tell me long before pa... but things that he said just made me realize that i'm not the right person for him anymore... i'm not na same person who can make him smile any more... a sad thing... :(
it hurts to know that one of the special person in my life is almost gone because of me, and i can't even do anything 'coz i know i'm the cause of this.... :(
*mwah*
March 8, 2003
8:41 p.m.
just a sad realization....
....
things in life are not permanent. There are times that your happy but it's not all the time you'll be feeling that way. There would come a time that tears would be falling down your cheeks. Sadness is inside your heart. The feeling that you've been betrayed, that someone got your heart and never gave it back.
True love is hard to find, but once you found it dont push it too hard. Let it take it's own course. Don't make decisions that you'll regret in the future. Learn to understand things, that not everything you want could happen. You can never hold someone too tight, 'coz if you do, you'll end up being too protective, but you can't hold someone too lightly, 'coz if you do, in a snap, you'll realize that your someone is not with you anymore. Have a balance, so things small step at a time. Don't do things in a hurry. Let it work by itself and if things would go wrong accept it and don't let your emotions run before your mind works. Sometimes you have to let your mind work in order to put things in their right places.
Make up for the lost time you had. Tell him that you love him as aften as possible, but if the time would come that he would find another person adn love her more that you, ACCEPT it, hard but TRY to, 'wag mo na ipagpilitan ang sarili mo sa kanya kasi lalo ka lang masasaktan. At this point wag mo muna isipin ang sarili mong kapakanan. Isipin mo na mas liligaya siya sa kanya, and that's the end of it. What you could just do is to be sad, cry all you want and after a week of this crap, MOVE ON. Tell yourself that you have successfully learned how to love someone and that experience won't be forgotten.
Ending a relationship is a very bad stage. Knowing that what you've shared for how many months, or even years was gone just like that. But honestly, it doesn't matter if you ended your relationship or not, what matters is that you could tell yourself that at a point you loved this person dearly and had memories with him that couldn't be forgotten.
To love is good, to get hurt is bad but to have a good relationship is the best part of LOVING
*mwah*
March 6, 2003
1:33 p.m.
oh no... school's starting to give me headaches.... so many things to do in a little time.... grrrrrr.... im STRESSED.... sobrang daming requirements na kailangan gawin and in 4 weeks time kailangan matapos na lahat... all i wish right now is to have a long break.... grrrrrrr....
*mwah*
March 1, 2003
9:40 a.m.
TO THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO OUR SITE... WE ARE VERY SORRY BUT THE SITE IS STILL UNDER MAJOR CONSTRUCTION... MEDYO HINDI PA TAPOS LAHAT NG LINKS EH... SORRY... DAMI LANG TALAGA NAMIN GINAGAWA... WE'LL GET BACK REALLY REALLY SOON!!! THANK YOU FOR COMING!!!! :D
:) i'm happy today... i just don't know why, but i am... :)
sometimes things happen that we just can't explain... happy things i mean... :)
i changed the layout of the website with the previous layout that we had... thanks to RUMPLES coz she was the one who gave us this layout... thanks thanks thanks... :)
i missed this layout that's why i had to put it on again... cool kasi with all the stars and everything that complemented everything... :) and mitch put our 1st picture as a couple in the middle... hehehehe... cute noh?!?!?! :)
*mwah*
