�The Heisman pose. RIGHT IN HIS FACE. He laughed it off, and told me to be careful with the pigskin.
We noticed at one point, that there were guys walking around with photography equipment. At first, I was pissed that they blocked the view of the girls in bikinis, then I realized that they were there to PHOTOGRAPH girls in bikinis.
By this time, the entire crew was outside, and drinking. We sat about 15 feet from the shoot, and I�m not lying when I say that I may have never been more at peace, then that day. I sat in the Sun, by the pool, watching models wearing bikinis that could fit into a coinpurse, while drinking Wild Turkey, and Coke.
After a while, we got a little hungry, so we walked about 30 feet from the pool to the Hooters Bar, and ordered some hot wings. Our waitress�s name was Rebecca, or Franchesca, or some name you would totally expect from a Hooter�s waitress. I noticed that her name tag said, �Colorado Springs� on it. I pointed to it, and shot her probably the dumbest fucking line possible, �Hey� Are you from Colorado Springs or something?�
She said she was, and that she was flown in to waitress for a while. I said, �So this is like the major leagues of Hooters, huh?� She said, �Kind of, I guess.�
I raised my glass and said, �You made it to the show, kid!� She laughed at me, not with me, and walked off.
After our tasty meal, Juan and I traveled back to New York, New York. We each bought John Madden sized Margaritas, and headed to the arcade. I challenged Donjon to a game of air hockey. I figured that he would be a formidable opponent, he was, after all, a hockey goalie.
FINAL SCORE:
Doerr: 7
Donjon: 2
Sorry about it.
After a while, Donjon was bored with the arcade, and wanted to hang out with other adults, so he left. I stayed, however, because, god dammit, I�m a Toys-R-Us Kid. After about an hour of flying solo, the guys giving out tickets wanted to race me on the offroad rally car game. They said it was their treat, so for the next 45 minutes, we tore up the dirt. I won none of the races, because I was smashed, but I still had a good time.
I returned to the hotel, and got dressed up, because I had a ticket to see Dane Cook perform.
I attended the event with Andrew Taake, and needless to say, I wasn�t doing it sober.
I don�t remember much about the actual set, but I do remember two main points:
1. While getting beer, I was separated from Taake, and I proceeded to drink the beer I got for him.
2. I was laughing so hard at one point, that I dropped my plastic bottle of beer onto the floor. The beer shot out like a fucking twelve gauge, and the stream flew over my head and went all over the four or so women behind me. Luckily for me, though, they had a sense of humor, and I think they found me attractive, so they let me go. Unluckily for me, none of them were under the age of 50.
After the show, I was certifiably wasted, and still separated from Taake. Using the giant neon Hooters Owl in the sky like a compass, I rumbled, bumbled, and stumbled my way back to the hotel. I found myself, at one point, in an open parking lot, and I noticed a jacked up Ford F-150, running, with music blaring. I walked up to it, and saw that there was nobody in it. I looked left, looked right, and entered the cabin. I found a station I liked on the radio, perused the CD collection, turned the AC on full blast, and then left.
I returned to Hooters, and stepped into the 50�s style Diner restaurant that they had there. The place was fairly packed, and I didn�t know if I�d get a good seat or not. The waitress asked me how many were in my party. As I swayed back and forth, I said, �Yeah, it�s just me, honey.� She then directed me to the corner booth, which could probably seat 6 people comfortably. After I ordered, a crew came in that looked like the offensive like for the Florida Gators, and they were seated at a tiny table with five chairs. I felt kind of bad, eating my omelet, alone, at a table fit for six, while they huddled around their food.
But not bad enough to move.
I returned to the room, hit the floor, and fell asleep; not knowing that the next day would prove to be the hardest day of my life.