Smoky made the 2 hour trip down here and he came ready to do some drinkin. Friday night the MNT met up with Chad and Dan, and we beer bonged to get the night started off right.
We attended a frat party, and to get in, we had to use fake names, I think I was Dave and Smoky was Kevin. I saw the guy who lives right next door to me, and he had two hot females with him. I had about 20 beers that night, so I'm not exactly sure about what was said, but I'm pretty sure he told me to stop by his room becuase this one chick liked me. That's right, Swagz was fighting the good fight, he was trying to get Double D some vagina.
I had only one problem, I couldn't leave Smoky hanging at the party, if I've learned anything from the movie Top Gun, it's to never leave your wingman. Smoky even assured me that it would be ok if I left him, but I didn't, and it may have been the dumbest thing I've ever done. And that is really saying something, because I've done a lot of stupid sh*t in my time. I spent the next day in a deep depression, but I knew that all I could do was get ready to do it all again that night. And Saturday night made me feel a hell of a lot better.
Smoky and I showed up just in the nick of time as Dan, Steve, Joel, and Joy were just about to leave for a frat party. So we all piled in the DANL-mobile and headed out. Unfortunately, Smoky and I get stuck in the back, quite cramped, but we had beer, so it was all good. When we showed up at the frat house, there was an inflatable kiddie pool in the front yard, filled with Chocolate Pudding.
There's something you don't see everyday.
But the pool was there for a very good reason...CHOCOLATE PUDDING WRESTLING. If you've never seen female in bikinis duking it out in chocolate pudding, you haven't truly lived. There were people climbing trees and standing on rooftops to see this sh*t. The hottest chick was actually a friend of Chad and Dan's and she got down and dirty with the best of them that night. She unfortunately ended up with Chocolate Pudding in her ear that couldn't be removed. They actually had to take her to the hospital to get it checked out. F*ckin Chocolate Pudding is some dangerous sh*t. The match really picked up when they removed one of the girl's tops and the MNT got to see some "Choco-titties" After pounding a few more beers, we returned to HQ for a while to watch the Man Show, South Park, and yes, DEBBIE DOES DALLAS. Then we moved on to another frat party, and it was actually where we went for Homecoming 2002. Smoky and I were standing there, minding our own business, when some dude just came up and started doing some freestyle rap to the song. I looked at Ed like, "What the f*ck is this, open mike night??" When the guy was done, I didn't know whether to give the guy a standing ovation, or a stunner, I opted for the ovation. We quickly left that party and made it to a Sigma Ki party, where they had, I f*cking kid you not, a kiddie pool filled with Chocolate Pudding. The MNT were about to see the main event of the night. There was one really foxy chick in this one, and I had to put both fingers in the air in true Stone Cold Steve Austin fashion when her bra was removed, and thrown into the crowd. The "Choco-titties" had returned, and all I could think was, "Damn, I'd like to lick those titties clean." After some air hockey inside the house, we returned yet again to HQ, where I got my Maverick shades and some St. Pat's Mardi Gras beads, and prepared to hit our fourth party of the night.
The MNT invaded the Pike house under some more aliases. My name for the night was Russ Thomas. I would say that it was about 1 or 2 in the morning, and I had the Maverick shades on in full effect. And people were digging it, they would either say some Top Gun phrase, or ask me what "Bang Bang" meant, becuase I was wearing my shirt. I was finishing off about my 20th beer when I sh*t you not, Double D, the guy who can't keep a girlfriend for more than two weeks, had two hotties bumping and grinding with him. Sure they were both taken and their boyfriends were about 3 feet away, but at that moment, good old Rusty Thomas looked like a pimp. Truly the only way to describe it is "BANG BANG"
Upon our return to HQ for the night, I wanted to beer bong one out of the cup to cap off the evening. Scuba Steve went first, and he did a hell of a job for a first timer. Smoky was next and put one down Beer Cup Champion style, then I stepped up and bonged one. The first thing out of my mouth was "Good morning Vietnam" (Man I was wasted) I then stood there as the beer made its way to my liver at about 400 miles an hour, turned to the wall, and threw it up at about 500 miles an hour. After laughing my ass off about it, I cleaned it up, and passed out under the kitchen table. It was an odd sight in the morning to see the underside of a table when I woke up.
I've had some badass drunken escapades, but two rounds of Choco-titties and dancin with hotties made St. Pat's 2003 the best ever, BANG BANG.