On one of my many trips to SEMO, Jarv, Bry, Don Jon, and me decided to visit SIU Carbondale. It took us about 45 minutes to get there, and to pass the time, we sang songs in the infamous "Chrisch Chrischtoferschon" voice, that is, until Bry got p*ssed and told us to stop.
We went to a bar called "Sidetracks" and we were getting two pitchers of beer for $7.00. The drinking began at about 6, and we continued drinking until the baseball game came on. The game that night was game four of the Divisional Championships between the St. Louis Cardinals and the defending World Series champions, the Arizona Diamonbacks. The series was 3-0 St. Louis, and the redbirds were looking to sweep the champs.
I walked into the bar with about $35.00 and left with $2.00, and since pitchers were 2-$7, you can tell how much I bought. But there were like four guys buying rounds, so we were quite wasted that night. After the game, we saw this kick-@ss band, Surrender Dorothy. They even ended the show with one of my favorite 311 songs. I'm not sure, but I think Jarv and I were dancing with some hot chicks. I normally don't dance, but that night, I was so wasted, I was literally jumping to this band. At about 3:00, we made it back to Don Jon's brother's apartment, and we were all ready to go to bed. I, being in a drunken stupor, took of one of Bry's socks. (Don't ask me how or why) But Bry just could not go to bed without BOTH socks on, and he whined about it for about 30 minutes. After getting fed up, I took off both of my socks and threw them at Bry. It ended up that the sock in question was right on the foot rest. And I yelled at Bry for a while about it. I soon had to take a p*ss. And only God know why I decided to go OUTSIDE to do it.
While outside and pissing, I saw, in the distance, a tower that looked a lot like the ones at SEMO. .
Being drunk off of my @ss, I thought it WAS SEMO, so I thought I'd go see what Badass was up to. After walking for a while to get there, I realized that I didn't know where I had come from. Yes, that's right, I got lost, on foot. I walked right up to the building, then it hit me, I thought, "Double D, we're NOT at SEMO, were at SIU."
It was then 4:00 a.m. I entered the place looking for a place to warm up as it was about 40 degrees outside that night. The guy at the desk told me that he couldn't let me in because I had no SIU ID.
So, as I walked around trying to figure out where the hell I was, it started to rain. And I was thinking about the situation:
1. I'm not at SEMO
2. I'm at SIU
3. I'm so drunk that I have no idea where I came from
4. I have SIDETRACKS stamped onto my hand.
5. I have $2.00
6. I have no cell phone
7. I'm not wearing any socks.
After walking around the perimeter of the dorms a few times, I found my way to a suburban area of Carbondale that looked quite familiar, at this point, it was about 6:30 a.m. I would find out later that I was about a block away from the apartment.
I walked around for a while before finding my way into a hall, at about 8:00 a.m. There was a guy working at the counter and he asked me: "Are you lost?"
I said: "I got drunk with my friends last night I don't know where they are."
Guy: "Ok, where's your car?"
Me: "I'm on foot."
Guy: "You got lost..."
Me: "yeah"
Guy: "On FOOT?"
Me: "yeah"
Guy: "Wow, how much did you have to drink last night?"
Me: "ha ha, too much."
After walking around for a few more hours, I returned at 10:30 for a break. At about 11:00 a.m., I called my dad at home, because the pay phone would not allow me to call anyone's cell phone. And my dad answered the phone.
Dad: "Hello"
Me: "Dad, do me a favor, call Scott at SEMO, and tell him to call Don Jon on his cell phone and tell him to come pick me up."
Dad: "Where are you?"
Me: "I'm in Carbondale."
Dad: "How did you get there?"
Me: "We drove."
Dad: "Are you lost?"
Me: "yeah, I don't know where the guys are"
Dad: "I'll call Matt, he knows the area."
My dad called me back on the payphone.
Dad: "Ok, you're going to want to take the third exit from the stop light and head up towards Illinois and-"
Me: "Dad"
Dad: "what?"
Me: "I don't have my car."
Dad: "Where's it at?"
Me: "It's at SEMO, Don Jon drove, I'm on foot."
Dad: "You got lost"
Me: "yeah"
Dad: "...on FOOT?"
Me: "yeah"
My dad got a hold of Scott, who got a hold of Don Jon, who picked me up at about 11:30. We went to Show-Me's (a Hooter's-type place) and got hot wings for lunch. I got my socks back and I went home.
My dad tells everyone about this story now, I was out to eat with my family and our waitress was this hot chick that used to go to my school, and instead of telling her that I am going to be an engineer, my dad tells her THIS story. Thanks dad.
