Friday night, we went to a sorority party, and I was sitting on top of a cooler on top of a table. Obviously drunk, I fell off of the motherfucker, and then the cooler landed on top of me. As I laid there, covered in water, I just thought, "Damn I'm smooth." We don't have whole lot of chicks down here at Rolla, but I think they were all there to see me make an ass of myself.
We made it back to my house and continued to drink, at about 3:47 on the AM, Jarv made a powerpoint presentation that is so funny, I thought that it had to be published right here... Funny Shit
Saturday was a big day for the Miners, big homecoming game.
Yeah, we lost.
But we had a hellaciously good time at the game. I spent most of the day driving around the DanL mobile, while drinking. At one point I was enjoying a "snowcone" and I threw it out the window.
And then drove about 2 feet, and stopped at the light. Juan was like, "Doerr, what the fuck are you doin?" It was pretty bad, I could have seriously touched the can from where we were.
It was ridiculous.
The Snatchmaster made the trip down, and we started taking shots, which always means the night could be short.
Riebling and I passed out at about 7:00 pm. Apparently I spent about an hour on the couch, trying to eat the air.
Ridiculous.
I woke up at about 10:00, ready to continue the night of drinking. We went to the same party we went to last year, and the keg was flowing. Riebling passed out on the couch upstairs, then moved his way downstairs and found yet another couch. I can't believe he managed to fucking sleep, there were hundreds of people there, and music was blaring, but he found a way.
At one point, I found myself in unfamiliar territory...
the dancefloor.
A girl walked by and bumped into my crotch with her ass, I didn't pay too much attention to it, then she did it again, and then she started grinding on my cack. I didn't even move, I just kept drinking my beer, it was awesome.
Feeling pretty good about that, I went outside, and promptly got vomited on by some nasty-ass bitch. I wasn't too pissed off though, because I was still "half-cocked" from the dancefloor encounter.
When we returned to HQ for the night, we wanted to watch the traditional Debbie Does Dallas film. The only problem was that we couldn't find it. So we knocked on Lutz's door, and he was pretty upset. Apparently we interrupted Dan when he was in "The Kill Zone" with his girlfriend. He was pretty pissed.
Good old DanL got some revenge though, because later on that night, we were watching television, and then I saw something that will haunt me for years.
Dan...
completely fucking naked.
He said, "Hey, who the fuck needs Debbie when you can just see these." And by "these," he meant his testicles.
Sunday morning, Snatch and I go to Shoney's for a hangover breakfast. There was a wicked-huge line, so Riebs was going to ask the waitress if we could sit ourselves, we hit a little snag though...
THERE WAS A FUCKING LINE TO ASK ABOUT BEING IN LINE.
Strictly asinine.
So after about an hour, we got our food, and then we got the bill. SEVENTEEN FUCKING DOLLARS. I went apeshit, I looked at the waitress and asked "HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?" The food wasn't anywhere close to being that good.
It was pretty guld-dern ridiggitydangdiculous... one time.